What is it called if you are somewhat indifferent on relationships,

Iktf anon. Though I'm no man, but being a homo I get the "you don't deserve a partner/you're not good enough" voice that fills your subconscious most of the time.
I don't think this is too unusual, especially when you didn't get to date in your early teens (I haven't ever dated before).
Do you exercise often? That usually helps a good lot with self-esteem issues. I remember I used to feel a lot more confident and fulfilled when I'd for a run about just 3 days a week.

>>17768521
I waned in frequency until I just don't anymore.

Also yeah, never got to date in my early teens. Went from being just sort of a background student in elementary to getting bullied in middle and changing districts and not knowing anyone in high school.

inb4beingbulliedshowsweakness

I know, but I was just pointing out I literally never had any chances for relationships. I had crushes, sure, and was so bold as to just say I liked them without the bullshit, but nothing was ever reciprocated.

>>17768571
because girls don't give a shit if you tell them you like them

did you ever consider what's in it for her if you tell them you like them?
nothing

all girls want is to be shown a good time and someone to take care of them, not financially but emotionally.
You can't do that if you're an emotional mess yourself, which considering your self loathing you are

I'm kinda similar but quite different as well.

Not only do I have shit self esteem, I still have hella high standards.

I'll fuck girls that I would never date.
I don't even try to spit game with girls that are what I consider to be out of my league.

So while I'm not completely sex deprived I am deprived of a meaningful relationship that I've dreamed of since I was like 12 lol.

>>17768608
I'm not talking a post-school adult me here, Anon. I didn't even know what self loathing was as a kid, nonetheless harbor it. I can't say I would've known the politics of telling someone you've been crushing on them, hah.

>>17768675
I can imagine the predicament.

>>17768413

being human. everyones conflicted on almost everything. I cant even go to a restaurant without inner turmoil over what to order, there's always two dishes that look great.

i clearly want one more than the other but i also long for the other.

the big problem im seeing here is that you're labeling yourself as a below average person.

stop thinking of yourself as on a scale. people are like food anon.

a lot of people like ice cream. others like hamburgers. they are two radically different types of food and you eat them for different reasons. its not wrong to say you like hamburgers more than ice cream, but that doesn't make ice cream 'bad'.

my mother made what many consider to be the best fucking lasagna. i hated lasagna. loved my moms cooking, but hated lasagna. and despite me loving everything else she cooked, she took it personally.

it wasn't her fault. the lasagna wasnt bad. i just dont like any lasagna.

you are lasagna OP. go be the best lasagna you can be. stop worrying about whether or not you're better than ice cream or a hamburger.

lots of people just want some lasagna for dinner tonight.

>>17768413

women are not magical vagina monsters who bestow value on you. stop letting them do that.

perhaps the greatest thing about being gay is that you lose the control women put over you. dont get me wrong men can be catty and bitchy and demanding and whatnot... but without the gender difference its a very different experience

you realize that people arent really able to judge you, and when they try to they're just trying to control you, when really they have nothing you want.

what would be the point in finding a partner if they didnt treat you as an equal they had a real interest in, as opposed to someone who granted you vaginal access because you jumped through the appropriate hoops and a 'better' partner happened to not be around that week?

>>17769708
>magical vagina monsters

What a whimsical phrase.

Anyway, you have a valid point in the end, there.

nudge

>>17769691
>lasanga

Is it because I have layers?