Does anyone else struggle with an "all or nothing"

Personally? I use the death of my mother as a motivator. She lived an unhappy, unhealthy life, ended up losing her legs and then her life before 55. Watching someone slowly fade away with their vices is heartbreaking but it has its purpose.

Do it for yourself, it's really not about anyone else. Being healthy just feels better all around and it'll be a blessing and a present to yourself, should it be attained. That's up to you.

>>17767640
I know the all or nothing aspect
Every few years I grow a beard and stop giving much of a shit about my hair or whatever.

But doing something proactive builds itself.
Like the more you do for yourself, the more you want to do for yourself.

Whatever choice you make, for appearances or against them, it has momentum.
If you choose to be for your appearance, each step gets easier.
The same if you're against it.

Like if I'm feeling good about myself and I do things to improve how I look, every little thing feels good.
It just builds on itself.

>>17767672
If I was doing it for myself I would honestly just say "Fuck makeup and fuck revealing clothing, I'll wear what I want and if you don't like it you can eat me out"

But if I had that attitude I would def be single until I died. You cannot escape The Patriarchy.

>>17767676
Why would you be single? Guys put up with just about anything just to suck the social dick of women. Guys don't have that ability to bar a woman from other mates like girls do over men. It's exactly why society has made its effort to try and keep women docile.

>>17767740
>n. Guys don't have that ability to bar a woman from other mates like girls do over men. It's exactly why society has made its effort to try and keep women docile.

Actually, if you completely refuse to play ball, men will play the "I'm going to fuck you but never introduce you to my friends or go anywhere with you in public" game. You never get to be anyone's girlfriend, just their fuckbuddy.

Men complain about being friendzoned, but being fuckzoned is also a real phenomenon and it can feel lonely too.

>>17767776
At the risk of generalizing, you've illustrated the difference between men and women.

A man doesn't really care that much (unless it's super serious) that his girlfriend doesn't introduce him to her friends.
I mean it sucks if acts like doesn't exist, but at the least she's fucking him.
And that's the important thing.
She's giving him validation about his masculinity.

Does a woman need to be validated on being feminine? I feel (as a man, btw) that femininity comes from within by masculinity requires outside validation.


When it comes to friends, I've seen in my experience that men make friends easier.and longer
Is that really true?
I wonder. Because that would explain a lot between the dynamic between men and women.

>>17767804

Just fucking someone consistently isn't loving them. This has nothing to do with "masculine" vs "feminine", it has to do with cuddling naked with someone for hours, cooking meals together, and having conversation for 4+ hours before fucking....and then acting shocked! shocked! That your partner has caught Feelings.

Men might be attracted to you and badly want to fuck you, but they feel like they can treat you like garbage if you don't meet specific beauty standards.

>>17767776
Ah, this I know of. This is more because of guys being shit to each other for no real reasons besides insecurity. There are no more wingmen, everyone is a shit out to get whatever they can and block everyone elses attempts because they can. It's a lot easier to make someone look bad than it is to get someone to trust, so they just take the easier route.
Before I start rambling; "chubby chaser" is still a thing. No amount of "body acceptance" rally's are going to change how people look at health and biology. Started getting attacked with comments all the time after a while from all of my friends and family about my dating choices because a lot of them were chubby. It's especially not fun when people start making notice of anyone in public who's overweight and starts joking "that's your type". Imagine if you had 3 dark skinned boyfriends and everyone starts acting like you'll never go back to anything else and will only want to go darker and darker.

>>17767740
U really have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, do you?

>>17767850
At least make the proper corrections if you're going to complain, fucko.

>>17767832
So your goal is love, yeah?

That again is what I'm talking about.
Most under 30 men don't really look for love.
Love is just something that happens, not a goal.

That whole "gatekeeper" argument I think is a real strong one for men seeking under 35 women.

Young women are the gatekeepers. So men want to pass that gate.
It isn't about love.
Sometimes it happens, but the goal, really, is about passing that gate and getting the reward

I understand how you feel.
I do, really.
You feel like you're a used object. Not even a real person. Like you're exchangeable.
Who are you?
Who cares, right?
Maybe you did something wrong. Maybe if you did something else, he would want to stay with you.

I get you, yeah.
Here's the thing.
You can't know.
You can't ever know that he's in it for real

Because the gamey men know what you want and how to make it like they want it to.
But at the end of the day, they win when you believe

There's no solution to this problem.
You just gotta roll those dice.
Maybe one man will be legit all the way through.
You can't tell because the fakers will pretend and be just alike the real ones.