I've had feelings for the same girl for three years. We've

>>17767481
Have you asked her how she feels about the possibility of you two dating? If you are close friends for three years then you might be seen as just a friend.

>>17767486
It's complicated.

We've gone through a couple of periods of not talking for various reasons (she was never mad at me or anything).

She used to be aware of my feelings for her. Ofc she saw me as just a friend. She probably knows I still have them now. Idk we haven't talked about it.

>>17767494
Hm, I don't know my dude. How long ago was she aware of your feelings? Is she looking for a relationship now?

If it was a couple months ago to a year or more you may be able to try again but you have to do it in a way where your not seen as a friend but a potential boyfriend/husband later on if that makes sense. (after all, why date someone if you have no intention of marrying?) Don't try to be a nice guy about it, I'm sure you already know about the dangers of acting as a fedora tipper. Just come out with it straight to her. Be sure to make it clear you WANT her not that you NEED her. Girls don't want NEEDY guys ya' dig?

>>17767510
She dated a real asshole and said she didn't want a relationship for a while. She's been seeing other guys, but she never doesn't want to get serious with everyone.

She said there was this one guy that seemed nice, she hinted at some shit. She may of just been joking around but it freaked me out.

I don't handle feelings for women well. I always get like this. So unbelievably depressed about this shit

>>17767510
Also how can I tell her that won't make it sound needy

>>17767543
Don't get depressed famalam, life will make you feel all sorts of things in the moment but I do not want to give you any false hope either. What you want to remember is that you are you first, don't be afraid if the other guy is better than you or not because they aren't. Shes your closest friend for a reason, its time to get closer.

Just tell her how you feel, really all there is to it. When you tell her don't mention the guys she has dated such as "whenever I seen you go out with those guys I get jealous." don't even mention it, don't imply jealousy, it can come off as insecure. Tell her in a way that doesn't come off as a friend such as "I have been with you" instead of "we've been friends for some time." (thats my personal preference). and tell her you WANT her instead of "I need you in my life." Truth is you don't need her but you do WANT her, ya' know. I can't tell you what else to write because I don't know your two history together but make it personal make it feel like you get her and she gets you. If that makes sense.

>>17767651
I support this anon's post.
Famlam doogery.

He's right, and I'll elaborate further - the general mindset when you walk up to her and tell her you like her is
1. I want you, not need
2. We instead of I, we've known each other, I think we could be a great couple
3. Don't mention anyone else, past bf's, current love interests she might have, whatever the fuck - you don't care, you're there for you and her which ironically is how a relationship forms.

And yeah all in all I wouldn't just walk up to her randomly and do that, women are swayed by emotion, take her out to a nice evening only you and her, somewhere where you can talk, like a cafe or a walk through the park, have feelgood vibes and at the end of the evening just go out with it and tell her you think she's great, and want to do something more than just friends
she doesn't have to say yes/no right there and then, so don't expect a straight forward answer, there's no right way to going about this, you just let her know of your intentions, and once she knows you keep going out with her and now It'll be like any other hangout you've had in the past EXCEPT, she's now thinking about your proposition, she judges you in a different manner, and she might fall for you as time goes on and things will just take their course - once she's open to the idea and falls for you everything will fall into place wonderfully...

And if it doesn't - you know she's not up for it for one reason or another, and you can allow yourself to move on and stop being an orbiter.

>>17767651
>>17767692
Guys it definately isn't as involved as that. I'm realizing now that "just friends" is all she's ever seen me as and me ever thinking otherwise was wishful thinking.

>>17767692
>>17767651
She still knows I have feeling for her. Funny enough she just brought it up. She says "She really really appreciates my friendship" so I'm forever friendzoned probs.

I never deal with shit like this well. Being friends with her is so hard, but she's a wonderful friend.

>>17767733
That doesn't mean you don't have a solid base man! come on! have some confidence.

>>17767756
On the other hand, if you truly know she has shown you that she's not interested and you feel you've already tried - then move on.

The only way to get over feelings of love for someone is to tell them, and be rejected in a manner that isn't vague, you need to get a clear message of "This isn't happening", otherwise you can keep trying or decide to stop.

>>17767779
That's the problem. Even when it's clear there's no hope I can never bring myself to let go, it's happened numerous times in my life before, it'll happen again and it'll destroy me

I think you have madonna whore syndrome or you just don't know her that much

>>17767802
The only reason you can't move on from someone is because your still convinced there's something you can do to win her over.

>>17767802
>>17767859
This anon is right.
So you say you can't move on, doesn't seem like It's going to happen

The way I see it, you either find another girl to be with, someone that'll make you happy

Or you confess your feelings to her IN PERSON, okay?

I was in love with a girl for about 4 years, I told her only 4 years later after already being in a relationship for a year at that time, just to let go.

It is a lost cause mate, she is a different person, she doesn't want to be with you by how you made it sound, but you need to think of yourself.

I insisted for a long time that she goes with me to the park, we went eventually, I told her that I had a time where I felt for her, I shared how horrible it felt to feel for her and not tell her (but not in a bad way), she was very compassionate and said this has happened to her before with another boy too, and that she feels for me and very sad that I felt sad xD

We hugged it out, she told me about this new boy she likes, I wished her good luck and told her we should speak more again
We haven't spoken since, because school was over and this was after school, so I had no excuse to see her anymore and I truly moved on at that point, I was wondering if I should ever tell her to begin with but mate, let me tell you this - It's better to tell her than to regret this

And when you go tell her mate, don't expect her to be with you.
There is no miracle that happens when a boy confesses his feelings towards a girl, and suddenly she is totally in and wants to be with him, that's not how relationships begin.

So when you confess your feelings, don't ask or plea to be with her, tell her for the purpose of telling her so you can move on from it, and tell her that It's the reason you're doing it, that's what I did, it felt very mature and she appreciated it alot too, I also realize that I don't want to be with her anyway, she's nothing special, just another girl (and trust me I used to worship this person in my mind and heart).

>>17768209
Also, the benefit of telling her IN PERSON, is that in person there's no place for doubt - your brain will have VISUAL MEMORY of letting her go.

YOU lead the conversation, YOU tell her that you're telling her so you can move on, do this - and you'll begin recovery, you and her will both know when you look each other in the eyes what has happened - you can be the bigger man after this, and not a little lost boy in his own emotion, I know the black abyss you can feel man, I felt it too, you need to do it to let her go.

funnily enough I met my gf when I was lonely and wanted to share my feelings for that girl I love with someone, and my gf ended up really liking me and we got together, she even knew I'm going to tell the first girl that I used to have feelings for her, she was actually the one to cheer me on and it was nice of her to do that, we had a great relationship afterwards and it felt like a very mature move.

>>17768209
>>17768215
So what? I gotta cut her out of my life to get over her? She's been out of my life before and when she came back into it the feelings came back? Can we just not be friends?

>>17767481
Either tell her how you feel or forget it. What the FUCK have you been waiting for? Women never make the first move and there's never a perfect moment. You might have ruined this forever by being a huge pussy.

>>17768843
She knows how I feel, will forever see me as a friend, I'm awful at letting go.

Maybe it's time to realize that a friendship of 3 years is more important than finding a new place to wet your dick.

>>17767481
I'm in this same position. Same time frame and everything. Except mine has a boyfriend despite spending almost all of her time outside of class or work with me.
What I'm doing now to attempt to get over it is trying to see other people. I met one girl that while not as attractive, seems pretty great all around. Not sure how it'll work out, but you could try that OP. I've heard people say pretty often that "the best way to get over a girl is to get under another"

Dude I had the same problem but in my case I though we had something and the next day it turned out that dhe was in a relationship with one of my friends
Just fucking tell her and if she says no, well, bad luck. Trust me
I didnt do it and i almost poison my own food
She found out, we talked and we are friends now

>>17768897
I have bad social anxiety desu. Especally around new women. I can't just walk up to someone and start talking to them, scares the shit outta me. I can be ok with women when I actually feel confident talking to them though (I get attached way to quickly. Always though, and it often ruins things with them).

I dunno. I guess I gotta figure out my bullshit

>>17768837
no no that's not what I meant, I didn't talk to her because at that time she wasn't really my friend anymore, but you are still friends with your girl, so I'm not saying cut her out, you tell her so that you can get over your feelings, you can still hang out with her and you should by all means! getting used to the new emotions moving forward

>>17769063
But even after admitting it to them I'm almost never able to let go of people even though I know I have to and it destroys me.

>>17769071
Well I told you to do it face to face during a proper walk, I bet my ass you never did it face to face, saying "I know I'm never able to let go after admitting to them" without doing it first is just an assumption!

Invite her over, make it official, you need visual memory of this meeting and real life should give you the closure you deserve.

>>17769164
I guess.

At much as it hurts at least my head is a lot more clear and quiet