Wife and I were talking about crime etc since I work with criminals

>>17765982
You don't need to prove or disprove anything, nor do you need to talk about something that discomforts you, specially if it's something best left behind.

Tell her to knock it off.

>>17765982

decide whats more important, the relationship, or having her understand.

cuz you might lose her in the process.

if the relationship is more important, simply try to let it go, dont bring it up, and rant to a friend when she forces itl.

>>17766023
>>17765996
Thank you both. It's about what I figured. Just bugs the hell out of me when she does it.

>>17766097

i could imagine. but consider the following: why does it bug you?

does it bug you because it belittles what you went through or is it like you said, a scoreboard? do you want to win, or do you want empathy?

>>17766106
Feels like it belittles it, though I make it a point not to base my life and decisions around it. I would say the scoreboard aspect feels like it minimizes it because to me, leering isn't quite the same.

>>17766234

its not nearly the same. but part of the issue sounds like YOU are making it a scoreboard too.

by saying
>LEERING ISNT REALLY THE SAME

you are feeding into the idea that its a contest, instead of just accepting peoples feelings for what they are.

i dont disagree with your sentiment but you are shifting the focus to what makes you special instead of what connects you.

>>17765982
you should have never told your wife about your abuse and sure as shit don't get into this with her. you won't win