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Ok long story short, I'm crushing on this girl.
Nothing good about it, just a big NO.
Spent a weekend with her and a friend of mine,
started knowing her better during a weeklong trip during wich I guess I started getting some funky feelings.
3-4 months after that and I tought I was over it and spending time with her wouldn't be a problem,
but I saw her recently and realized that I'm not.
So best course of action would be to just cut her out of my life, except I can't.
First of all our meeting was due to a "tragic" event and if I just gtfo it would feel like betrayal, for me too.
Second of all we have big trips planned with this group of friends in the future, I can't just ask them to cut her out,
nor I feel like leaving this group (wich is the best I've ever had in my life).
Third, I've become closer to her family due to the tragic event aforementioned, her mother still gets teary when I leave after I visit them.
I don't know what to do,
she's asked me to spend a weekend togheter next spring but I feel like every moment I indulge is a mistake.
I should do something now that I'm not too invested into it, but I don't know what.
I think she's a cool person and I wish I could keep her in my life on the long run,
but I'm sure that with time the feelings would only develop and being unable to act on them would undermine our friendship.
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Get a gf fast. That's all you have to do.
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>>17765016
Yeah that's a good idea,
so on top of that I'd have to deal with a gf I don't really care about and would end up losing.
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>>17765008
>>crushing on this girl
>>undermine our friendship
>romantic interest
>friendship
Pick one.
>spend a weekend together
Nigga I wouldn't spend a weekend with the best friend I have known for 6 years. Why does she want to spend a weekend with you? What does she want out of it?
More importantly, what do you want out of it? Make your position clear to yourself and then to her.
>every moment I indulge is a mistake
Why is it a mistake?
>now that I'm not too invested into it
You are lying to yourself. Please prove me wrong.
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>>17765023
>Pick one.
I pick neither.
I don't know her well enough to say she's a close friend, or a ideal partner.
>Nigga I wouldn't spend a weekend with the best friend I have known for 6 years
Well to each his own, never went on a road trip in your life?
visited a foreign country?
>Why does she want to spend a weekend with you?
She thinks I'm gonna leave the country some time in the future,
we already have something planned before that with this gorup of friends though and I've told her more than once I'm not gonna leave any time soon, not earlier than a couple of years.
What I -would- want is pretty clear, but making it clear to her would make everything more difficult still.
>Why is it a mistake?
She has a boyfriend and she's not interested.
>You are lying to yourself. Please prove me wrong.
Hold on, let me grab my feel'ometer and I'll report the value.
I don't know her at all, I have doubts about her personality, she's not always coherent, our lifestyle is not compatible, she's an attention whore (yes probably that's why she's into the situation), she's not that good looking.
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>>17765036
>I pick neither
So what is this person to you? If they are neither a romantic or friendly prospect, I consider them a total stranger in passing.
>What I would want is pretty clear
Not to me. I am autistic and retarded, by the way, so you have to break it down if you ever want me to understand.
>feel'ometer results
I meant you were lying about your investment. Having done a critical analysis of this chick implies a level of investment. You mentioned you should do something now that you are not too invested. I consider going this far to be "too invested."
The point is to be honest to yourself so your answers to your questions are straightforward and you won't be conflicted.
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>>17765062
She was a stranger, then an acquaintance, then a friend and then a person I started having feelings for, maybe?
>you have to break it down
I want to spend time with her, and know her better, and eventually I want to feel her getting close to me.
Thing is that I'm probably going to find an excuse not to unless I have to, because after I spend time with her I feel like shit.
No doubt I'm invested in some levels, what I meant is -I should do something now, because later it's going to hurt more-
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>>17765131
I understand now.
You have a connection to a circle so you have a decision to make. If it were me in your shoes, this social circle would forever be tainted and it would be more trouble for me to maintain relations than to simply leave.
I once was a part of a social circle that I would not have given up. Knew the people for 3 years. Some new chick joins up and I eventually fall for her. Ask her out, she says yes. I was highly invested before she changed her mind. There were tensions between us because of it.
I stepped away from the group momentarily. It dissolved and gave me an out before I returned. The happiness of not having to deal with her outweighed the loneliness of no longer having that group.
Should your situation take that kind of turn, I hope you make the best decision.
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>>17765166
It's a slightly different situation, this group is made by people with different nationalities that live days from eachother.
We get togheter once per year if we're lucky.
But they did become close friends to me, it just happens that this girl is physically the closest one to me.
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>>17765709
I don't win anything do I?
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