How do you talk to someone who places their entire value on how

>>17764117

>How the fuck do you reason with that?

You don't understand how to reason with a logical person that has good common sense?

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>>17764147

I don't really understand what you are trying to say. I don't think it's logical that your value is in how much money you make. People put value in lots of things. I also don't think it's common sense to just completely melt down because you're broke. It's far more logical to take advantage of the kindnesses shown you, especially when people want to help you because they care about you.

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>>17764158

1. Making money is very important.
2. if you want to help, help them find a job. Can't? You can't help.
3. Your "emotional support" is only relevant if they respect you and don't view you as useless trash.

>>17764158
PROTIP: Don't reply to non-anonymous posters on 4chan.

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>>17764171

I see the confusion. I'm not talking about emotional support. I'm talking about financial support. Giving them a place to stay and things that help them get by. I can't help them find a job, but I can make sure they got a place to sleep and a place to eat and gas money as needed.

And they're taking it, but they're treating it like it's killing them, because they have so much pride. They're practically holding it against me that I'm helping them. Sometimes they sound accusing, like I'm doing it just to make them feel bad, and I can't even.

>>17764186

>Sometimes they sound accusing, like I'm doing it just to make them feel bad, and I can't even.

Dey stupid den, 4real.

I am not sure there is much you can do about that - you are obviously doing something that is MATERIALLY helpful, and they should understand that. If you care enough about this person keep doing it, obviously don't ask for gratitude (I am guessing you don't, but just to stress that). Maybe some day they will get it.

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>>17764218

When I asked them why it was making them so unhappy to let me help them, they told me howup to now they've never relied on anyone else before. That they could just pick up and leave and be just fine. How they've never had anyone to rely on and they "learned a long time ago, even when you ask for help there's nobody there for you" and I try to tell them "but I am. I want to help you. Because I remember when I was SOL and people helped me. How much it mattered that people were showing they cared about me. I want you to get that there are people like that there for you"

And they just stop talking to me at that point. I know it's mushy as shit, but I'm also being genuine. So IDK. Maybe you can lead a horse to water and I should just stop trying to comfort them. Maybe I am looking for gratitude. Not towards me specifically, but at least some kind of positive feeling, some kind of relief or lowering of stress that they have someone they can rely on if they need it. Instead it just seems to make them even more unhappy. So I end up feeling like I'm not actually doing them any favors.

>>17764243

To be honest, that type of person doesn't generally respond to mushy shit, so I would drop it if I were you. Hopefully actions speak louder than words here.

The person IS being an ungrateful fuck, and it sounds like they may be the type to be like "lol I thought you were just doing it out of the purity of your heart" if YOU ever need help in the future. Which you could well be, but it IS reasonable to expect SOME sort of reciprocation, IF you are ever in total shit and they are in a position to help.

In short, don't talk about it imo, back to "actions louder than words" and it's out of your hands past that.

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>>17764275

That's pretty good advice. They are indeed one troubled kid. Possibly borderline manic depressive, and has anger issues. They make bad decisions and then just can't handle it when it blows up in their face. But all you can do sometimes is shut your mouth and be there in all the important ways I guess.