I'm not in love anymore with my gf of 10 years. Problem

>10 years to realize it wasn't love
you've let it last too long

wait til she gives birth, then have a serious talk. try to approach it logically. she is the mother of your child and you should try to support her.

its going to be messy but if shes as over it as you seem to be, perhaps you can make an arrangement for at least the first few years of the babies life, basically roommates.

the problem is that you are never going to not be in each others lives anymore. you may not love her, but if you can reach a place of partner ship, thats the best you can do.

you're not married it seems, but probably common law married with the baby on the way.

do your best to support her in setting up her new life, if she'll let you. carry her for a reasonable maternity period and talk about how to best set up her life.

you may not love her, not like that, but you do want her to be happy, successful, etc. right?

its probably going to be messy but good luck.

i know roommates / partners sounds really weird but you don't realize how easy it is once the drama is over. once you realize you dont have to 'answer' to the other person or restrain your personal thoughts, being around them suddenly isn't so hard.

Leave.

A lot of men stay for the sake of kids. This ruins family life. Sure things change when the kid comes along and your life isn't about you its about the kid. 10 years is a god damn long time. But if you cant see a future leave. Pack your shit in to the trunk of your car, and go out to get some milk. Leave town, delete social media and preferably jump state. Get a new job, get a new home, get a new life.
Sure the kid will grow up without a dad, and thinking that you're a peace of living shit, but at least you wont hate the child and it will have a fighting chance in life, alto be it without a running start.

>>17762596

dude, he can NOT be with the girl and still be there for the kid.

>>17762596
This is the stupidest advice. What is OP supposed to do, just up and leave HIS OWN house and just buy a new one like he's replacing a pair of socks?

FALCON PUNCH abortion, then drop the bitch

> wait til she gives birth, then have a serious talk. try to approach it logically. she is the mother of your child and you should try to support her.
For now that is my plan. 2 month to go. I'm more worried about longer term. Anyway I'm not going to let her down.

> the problem is that you are never going to not be in each others lives anymore. you may not love her, but if you can reach a place of partner ship, thats the best you can do.
> do your best to support her in setting up her new life, if she'll let you. carry her for a reasonable maternity period and talk about how to best set up her life.
> you may not love her, not like that, but you do want her to be happy, successful, etc. right?
Right. I still have a lot of affection and respect for her.

> i know roommates / partners sounds really weird but you don't realize how easy it is once the drama is over. once you realize you dont have to 'answer' to the other person or restrain your personal thoughts, being around them suddenly isn't so hard.
It doesn't sound too crazy to me, we once broke up earlier this year and lived a few weeks this way. It ended being hell on earth.
Then we reconciliated and she got pregnant...

>>17762596
Well, thank you but it's not going to happen. I want to raise my kid.

>>17762612
I mean he did fuck up pretty bad. Best case scenario he looses the house in a divorce 5 years down the line anyway.

>>17762630
You're an absolute fuckwit. Are you 12 or something?

>>17762619

woof, its rough man but the best you can do is try not to fight. if she needs to let stuff out and be mean, try to be understanding. you are the one leaving her right after having a baby, and though i dont blame you, i dont blame her for being lost and upset once this happens.

i hope you can reach a place of friendship but its going to take a LOT of restraint, control, and understanding on your part in order to help her get past the anger.

>>17762630

they arent marrie.d

>BUT MUH COMMON LAW

not nearly as serious as legitimate marriage and mostly just used to rope people into child support payments.

>>17762619
I agree that anon's advice is good, but I would add that you need to keep in mind that you don't HAVE to be together forever just because you have a kid. Separating while the kid is young and can't remember it happening is also probably for the best, rather than pretending everything is okay for another 10 years. It sounds like she knows the relationship is over, so I don't think it'll get too messy, so waiting until the baby is born and then having a good chat would be your best course of action

>>17762566
You should be more careful and not let her pregnant since you weren't so in love. But now it happened. And you need to support her and your kid. You don't want to expell her,cuz then she will brainwash your kid,and he/she will hate you. Also,you both are responsible for the kid,so it's better for your kid to raise it together. If you could stay as roommates it would be nice but only if you don't have fights.
After the birth,maybe it will bring you closer to your wife/gf. Would you like to give it a try?
Also,don't talk to her before the birth,talk after that. Do you think that she feels the same with you? Why do you feel like that after 10 years?

>>17762649
>>17762652
What I'd like would be to break up when she recover from birth, but live together for another 6-12 month. Then move out.
I'm actually quite surprised that so many suggested the very thing I wanted to do, I thought it was a crazy idea.

>After the birth,maybe it will bring you closer to your wife/gf. Would you like to give it a try?
I don't know. Maybe.

> Do you think that she feels the same with you? Why do you feel like that after 10 years?
I don't feel anything actually. There is respect and comprehension of course, we know each other very well, but I just don't care what she does, where she is. I don't feel the need to share with her what I like.

>>17762694
If that's what you want to do, and she agrees to it, then go for it. It's really up to you and her what you do

If she is living off your dime and has been for however many years, I don't think this will be an easy situation. She especially isn't going to up and take care of herself now that she has a baby to look after, not to mention it is an anchor into your life.

The road ahead is going to be difficult, but whatever you do, DO NOT MARRY HER.

I see posts saying since she also has no love left in the relationship, you too will be able to part ways amicably and still both be in your childs life with little friction. Don't bet on this.