So I just started using tinder and I've been talking to

you can ask to meet up now, 2 days is plenty enough time.

>Should I keep messaging him every day or every other day? I don't want to seem too clingy but at the same time I still want to get to know him more.
just ask him irl once you set a date

>>17760549
do you think a trip to a skating rink would be too much for a first date? Or should we plan like a coffee date? Because I'm worried that i'm going to flounder if we're just sitting in one spot I guess. What have you done for a first date?

those two are fine

>>17760579
lets say we go out a day after his birthday, would it be weird if I bought him something small? Can't put my finger on anything that I would get him at the moment, but would it be too soon?

>>17760643
Yes it's weird,what the fuck?

I feel like half the people here grew up on an Amish farm

>>17760511
go mini golfing

if you can't play mini golf with another person and have tons of fun, then the relationship isnt gonna work

>>17760680
I think it might be too cold out for that but if there are any courses open, I'll keep it in mind.

>>17760747
I was thinking more like an indoor mini golf place\

I live in a city though, so that might not be an option for other people

Make him work for you. If you make it easy for him, he won't appreciate it as much. I'm sure he might try to, but this is a subconscious reaction. Don't do this every morning, but I'd recommend waiting until he texts first. Little things like that.

>>17760756
if the date goes well, would it be alright to take selfies with the guy? I mean if he's alright with it that's cool but I'm wondering if it would be too early to let my friends and family know that I'm seeing a guy. I have a complicated relationship with my mom and I'm not sure if I would want her knowing about him. Considering if this works out.

>>17760764
Since we matched on tinder he greeted me first and then on the second day I started the convo again. I'll keep this in mind, thanks.

What should I keep in mind if he doesn't start up again? I try to be understanding and I don't want to jump to conclusions but if I'm being honest here, I think I would get a little antsy.

>>17760768
dont tell your family about going on a first date with a guy, wait until you actually have a relationship

theres nothing wrong with taking selfies though

>>17760774
Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be the first to initiate conversation. In fact, it would probably make him feel better. Just don't ALWAYS be the one to jump at the opportunity to do things with him, or start conversation, or show emotion when the other one doesn't. It might seem like bad advice, but it's definitely possible to be too "lovey dovey", for lack of a better term. I did it with my ex. She actually cheated on me. I was always too clingy and she was bad at taking things the wrong way.

There's a sweet spot in between too clingy and too distant. Find it and never let go.

>>17760774
If I were you I'd kinda go with a "super clingy sometimes and distant other times" tactic.

>>17760794
>>17760798
oh no it's okay, I totally get what you guys are saying. I actually like that kind of idea of finding a nice blend so that I don't scare him off or anything.
To be fair I don't know how many other matches this guy could be possibly have on tinder so I'm going to try to wait and see if he texts back first tomorrow.

I've usually been the one to end the conversations mostly too. example, we'll be texting from time to time all day and then when it comes close to when I want to go to bed or I have hw to do I usually call it a night. Should I limit myself from always being the one to end the convos?

>>17760834
I might be wrong, but I don't believe ending conversations are quite as important. Maybe they are, I mean it is the thing you probably go to sleep thinking about and what you go to sleep thinking about can have quite an impact on how you feel about them the next morning.

With the girl I'm talking to now, she's usually the one who ends the conversation and I let her most of the time. Sometimes I try to get the last word in, but she's persistent. Take it from a guy when I tell you I'm totally fine with her ending the conversation. It doesn't scare me off or anything. But that's just how I feel. I'm a pretty lenient and understanding guy. At least I like to think so.

>>17760853
Idk with me it would feel kind of weird to leave the conversation hanging off out of nowhere. This could just be me overthinking things, but I don't want to be rude in any case.

Also, like I mentioned before this is my first time on tinder and I seem to have made other matches. I really like the one guy in particular, that this thread is about, but what should I do about the other dudes that matched up with me? Should I unmatch them and focus on this guy?
Some other guy I matched with is alright but I see him more as a friend than someone I could be in a romantic relationship with. Should I let that other guy know that I don't see him in that kind of way? I've been talking to him for the same amount of time. He's definitely way more lax, but a little too much.
And then there are a few other guys who I matched with days ago that are now just starting to message me. It's weird.

>>17760899
It feels weird from both ends for me. It would feel weird to be the first or the last one to send a message for the night.

I've tried a few dating sites. If I were you, I'd just forget about the other guys and not even bother with them. Don't respond, remove them, whatever. If it doesn't work out with this one guy, you don't need the guys who are messaging you now. More will come.

>>17760899
dont listen to what >>17760909 has to say, leave the matches alone until you're sure that this guy is someone youre actually gonna have a relationship with before you burn your bridges

>>17760798
take this advice with a grain of salt

i'm a guy and a girl i was interested in who was interested in me did this all the time and it's annoying as fuck

>>17760916
Did what exactly?

I'm giving my perspective. I never said every guy is the same and every guy feels like I do.

>>17760914
That's the thing with dating sites. There are always more bridges.

>>17760921
>super clingy sometimes and distant other times

i know you're just giving your perspective, i'm just giving some anecdotal evidence of it not always being a good idea so OP might more thoroughly consider acting that way

>>17760936
Ohhh, you're referring that THAT bit of advice.
>super clingy sometimes and distant other times

Honestly, it's mostly opinion. But psychologically speaking, most people get tired of the same thing over and over again. But you have a point. Not all guys will like it if you do what I told her to.

>>17760899
The absolute best advice I can give to you is to be 100% YOU. If you're fake for someone and they actually fall in love with you. It wouldn't be YOU they fall in love with. It'd be that fake version. Be you and when someone falls in love with you, which someone will sooner or later, they'll actually be in love with the real you.

You can't keep on a mask forever.

>>17760914
So should I still engage in conversations with them or wait until I find out if things will work out with this guy before I start talking to them?

Even though I'm just using this site to get to know these guys I still feel uncomfortable just simply getting my pick of the litter, so to speak, by treating them all as if I only got them as a match. It just seems kind of sleazy talking to more than one guy at once..

>>17760958
yeah the goal here for me isn't to be fake. I'm just trying to be courteous. Maybe later after we've met in person I'll then ease into a more flirtatious mannerism. But then again, i'm not sure if that would necessarily be the right time. Should I wait for his own sort of cue? Should I wait for him to make that kind of move?

I guess I pretty much already did this though, not anything over the top. It was done in a more friendly way.

So I let him know that i'd be up for meeting him in person and he said he would be up for it too. Now, I already mentioned some possible ideas for a date:>>17760567
But should I let him be the one to suggest a day to go out or since I already mentioned the possibility of meeting up with him, should I be the one to initiate this?

>>17760567
>tfw love to ice skate
>tfw no qt ice skate GF

>>17761060
Oh no, sorry I worded that wrong. I meant like a roller skating rink. But that isn't to say ice skating is not as fun. I've tried it before, i'm not the best at it but it's all fun.