I have a sexual addiction yet I don't fuck that much. I

I am in despair. I get you might not see this, but the anxiety I feel everytime I get close to a person knowing how badly I will fuck up is unbearable. So I stopped getting close to girls two years ago. I've had sex, yeah, not too much, not too little, with girls I barely know. That way I don't give a fuck about me being a priority or not or if I am the best motherfucker that fucked her. I don't care that way. But this girl I know too much, I've been waiting for too long, and I've been preparing myself to fuck her after her relationship failed, as I saw it was doomed from the beginning. But yeah, what I wrote above is what happened.

Now the competition thing, yeah, it's a competition for me the second I start fucking her because I want to make her want me, and no one else but me. I want her to want me so fucking badly that she doesn't care about fucking with others. Now that's not going to happen. And if we fuck, I'm gonna start a new episode of shitty days, anxiety and jealousy.

So I come here, /adv/, to ask you: I need fucking therapy, right?

And thank you for reading this, anon.

>>17758414
I think fucking someone's GF is probably the reason you can't trust people.

>>17758414
>>17758417
Whoa OP. Ok- so there's a HOST of issues going on here.

First off, you don't seem like a bad guy. You're scared, and fucked up, play weird mindgames and have trust issues. Here's a tip: you're 100% right with the trust issues. The majority of people are only decent to you out of convenience and are disloyal, shallow, users. They have no conscience. That said, you have a choice to make- guard yourself and avoid getting fucked over (you'll probably still get sucked in), or make yourself vulnerable and get fucked over way more but not miss out on something great.

That being said, your post is super-wordy and kind of confusing. But to answer your question, YES, you need to talk to someone. Seems like you've got some unhealthy shit going on in your head that will likely just get worse. Lots of therapists suck, so find one you like. It might take awhile but it's worth it.

>>17758444
Wait, I thought she was in an open relationship? I don't know, OP's post reads like schizophrenic word salad. I'm lost.

Have you done anything sexual with this girl before?

>>17758468
>>17758448
Sorry about my way of expressing this. I've written all of the above in ten minutes and english is not my native language, so it must be very confusing.

Yeah, she's now in an open relationship. And yeah, I have a lot of issues. I'm a mess, psychologically speaking, and I will follow that recommendation and find a therapist.

Fuck, why can't I be normal.

Now thank you very much for >>17758417 that post. Even though it just confirms what I ultimately know, I needed to get it off my chest and see that I was heard.

Wish me luck.

>>17758486
I meant this post
>>17758448

>>17758480
No. Close, but no.

>>17758486
MOST people are fucked up, it's just in all different ways, trust me. Therapists are not just for the crazy nutjobs. The mere fact that you're seeking one out means you're probably better adjusted and more self-aware than the majority of the general population.

>>17758502
Well, I've always tried once I hit adulthood and saw my problems in relationships to understand why. It's been years asking me that and I've get plenty of knowledge about myself, now answers or tips to manage this problem? That's a whole different thing.

>>17758497

Close?

>>17758521
Kisses and the kind. Nothing really sexual.

Kinda am in and know a guy in a similar situation. That you Jonathan?

>>17758526

the kind?

>>17758502
lol therapists are for normies and normie problems by and large

if you're fucked up beyond the point of pills talking and the ECT there is no salvation for you other than hot lead in the skull