How to end 2 year relationship with someone I just don't

Did you try going up to your partner and telling them this?

I can kinda relate to what you're feeling. This might not help you, but I'll add my similar situation to the thread.

>Been dating a girl for 2 years now
>1 year in person, one year long distance when she had to move
>Recently I told her that I wouldn't want to continue long distance into college, if we were going to keep dating in the future it would have to be in person
>There's no chance we're going to the same college at this point, she doesn't have the grades to go to any of my schools and I'm not going to lower my school standards
>Our relationship hasn't been the same since I told her that, it's been a lot more distant and cautious. We almost broke up
>there's pretty much no chance that she'll want to have sex again, or get very intimate
>I probably won't have a chance to see her until Christmas, and if I do I'll be traveling across the country to a relationship that just isn't the same anymore

Is there a point to staying together anymore? Honestly I think the only reason I want to hold on to her is because she's such a good friend, and I don't want to hurt her. She said she'd be willing to stay friends if we broke up, but only if it was on "good terms". Also I guess I'm scared of being alone for the first time in years.

>>17758287
Losing feelings is just normal after 2 or 3 years. You're just used to the other person.

Ending relationship for this reason is extremely stupid, since it will happen again and again and again with other people, until you're old and all alone.

you know how you coward.

>>17758806
>lower my school standards

If she's less clever or less hard-working than you, the problems are only beginning. With years passing by, the gap will only go widening between her and you: education, salary, tastes, etc.

At some point you're going to work hard and earn a lot, just to have some lazy, poor and dumb wife waiting for you at home. Doesn't sounds like a recipe for success.

Anyway, you're already going separate ways, physically speaking. The proper choice for you is a girlfriend from your college, that will have your intelligence, your tastes and your social status, in addition to the immense advantage of just being next to you.

>>17758845
Yeah, I realize this. Like I said, I don't plan on staying with her in college. My question is what I should do about our relationship until then (we're in our senior year of High school).

>>17758858
>>17758845
I guess the issue is that I don't feel like I have a just cause for breaking her heart. My heart knows though that I'm not committed like I used to be to the relationship, it feels like I have one foot in one foot out the door.

>>17758867
The only solution is to be upfront with her: "Do you really think it's going to work? Should we terminate right now or is there some utility in staying together despite the distance?"

Usually, the only reason to stay together is because the person gives you the comfort of an easy relationship (read: easy sex + company). But you don't even have that anymore. So what's the point? What can you hope? Ask her.

>>17758908
Conversations like that have actually happened at some low points in the relationship. Specifically when I told her long distance wouldn't work in college and she took it like I was breaking up with her. The thing is though that she's supper attached. If the relationship is going to end it's going to have to be because I end it, she'd never end it herself. It's always been like that.

>>17758287
>>17758806

Old dude here (42yo britbong) - 3 long term relationships (5 years, 4years and current one: 14 years... and several flings in between)

My advice for what it's worth - is this:

Relationships have three phases,

HONEYMOON period (first three months) she is AMAZING - you fuck all the time, talk about your "stories" the romance is AWESOME -

"TRYING IT OUT" phase - after three months you get to know each other, your into the bit where both of you are contemplating soemthing a bit more serious - THIS phase is the bit people can get stuck in - for me, I'd say you need no more than 12 months in this phase -so you are in the make or break after 18 months - this is decision time, if you are going somewhere then you'll find that she is even more interesting to you than before (probably not "hotter" exactly, but that she inspires you do to do more, or expands your horizons, or balances you, challenges you -*something*- that you hadn't expected - a POSITIVE something - not a negative one...if there is any part of you that thinks "if only she could be a bit less X or a bit more Y" then think about moving on - people only change when they chose to..

So - at this point - if you are not inspired, if you are thinking that she needs to change - then you are in BREAKUP mode BREAKUP mode : ...

>>17759047 cont.

BREAKUP mode - do the decent thing and cut her lose so that she has a chance to find a guy that WILL appreciate her (I'm not saying this to be a "white knight", but more to give you the guts and drive to do the deed. have faith that you WILL meet someone else yourself - trust me - you will - don't cling on just becasue you don't want to break up! Do the deed at her place - or somewhere neutral that you can get up and leave from (not YOUR place). You need to be sincere and forthright and tell her that the feelings you had for her have changed, or that the feelings you had hoped would grow into something more, have just ebbed into a gentle comfortable affection (if this is true), but not the passionate thing that you want for yourself (and for her). Set your inner poet free, but be TRUTHFUL with her, even if it's hard to say, and hard for her to hear. Hold her hand, tell her that she has so much to offer, but that it can't be with you. Expect tears (and possibly accusations) be patient, hold your nerve. Understand that the kindest thing you can do is being strong enough to let her hate you a little, this will help her heal from the breakup - but not brutal so that she feels worthless -there's no reason to do that. When the conversation starts to cycle back round to cover things you've already talked about, THAT's the time to get up and leave.

(The third phase - if you ever decide to stay - is all about working together as part of a team, and your journey will be AWESOME if you do it with someone who passes the TRYING IT OUT phase - otherwise -it will be a slog - take it from me - I let two relationships drift past the breakup point and tried to limp on - it was horrible - wouldn't make that mistake again.

>>17759060
Thank you for your advice. I can really feel the wisdom in what you're saying.