So im gonna get to the point on this I was in a long distance

>>17755623

lol just meet girls irl mate

>she expects me to be okay with this

the rest of the world does too dummy

>>17755629
im a midwest guy...shes a cali girl

>>17755651

>were from two different places

right! thats how LDR works.. which is why i suggested you meet girls irl.

>>17755623
When girls say they love you, and want to spend the rest of their life with you, just assume they're just bantering. Actions speak louder than words. If she loved you, she'd drop everything for you without you asking.
But since she's fucking another guy, you know she doesn't even like you.

>>17755661
So basically if she REALLY loved me she would of held out for me?and i need to just block her forever?

>>17755670

there is no 'real' definition of love. everyones pretentious enough to believe their own definition is 'real love' and everyone elses is childish.

love is simply a strong affection. it is that chemical rush. there are different things and ways that happen. love doens't mean being a slave it doesnt mean waiting endlessly. it just means strong affection..

considering you never met in real life, its not real. its simulated. you may think you have chemistry but most LDR couples realize they dont in person.

>>17755681
So the reason i held on to her is because i feel like shes ''the one'' but she also happens to be my first true love (im 26 btw). Basically I just want to know if theres a such thing as ''the one'' or I just haven't met other girls i cared for as much

>>17755623
>give her another chance
>end things with her forever
Why only extremes?
give her another chance but find a way to let her make up for her mistakes. Forgetting about it and acting as nothing ever happened won't work.

>>17755623
>do i give her another chance
what? sounds like she moved on and didn't give a shit what you thought about it. Now if you want to know if you are a fool to move to her and beg well....yes you are a fool

>>17755686

'the one' is a man made concept.

think about it thiswaY: are you atheist? if so, why do you believe in the concept of true love as some spiritual 'mean to be' destiny thing?

are you religious? well most religions don't have a concept of true romantic love. love is reserved for worshipping god. until recently your wife was just like a sister that you fucked, someone you chose to be part of your life sure, but then stuck with her forever. you didnt date, you didnt romance. you could fall in lvoe after getting married, but you didn't find your soul mate, you just picked a girl and tried to buy her.

my point here is that romantic love as we know it is a relatively new concept, so why would destiny exist around it? why woudl destiny foresake billions of people in different times where love and marriage were treated radically differently?

hell even in americas recent history you only got 3 dates before you got married, and if you were asking a girl on any date it was assumed you were going to marry her from the get go.

there is no 'the one'. it is a recent disney fairytale concept that people took wayy too seriously.

that isn't to say love is bullshit. love is amazing. love is equal parts chemistry and compatibility (or rather, convenience).

just go meet people irl. move if you want, but not for her.

>>17755692
she wanted to stay friends because id talk to her for 10 hours a day, answer her calls at 4 am etc...
>>17755703
i made the mistake early on of saying were not anything official.....

>>17755714
Come on OP. That is a very lame excuse. If a woman wanted to be with you they don't start something up with another guy even if no box has been drawn around the relationship.

>>17755723
Should i even offer her up a goodbye or just block her on everything?

>>17755731

i like to go out iwht a 'fuck you'. even if you were being retarded, she was feeding your retardation (and also being retarded) so why not?

Go no contact

>>17755704
Pretty much this. If you're looking for the one, you'll know when you've found the one when you're dying and she's still there.

>>17756480
so basically no matter how hot she is and how great she is, if shes not there for you 100 percent then fuck her?

Keep it going if she's able to be corrupted. However be warned that once she is in the habit of having a side dude, that won't stop in the future.

>>17756514
If that's what you want dude. I'm assuming "the one" is a permanent arrangement, given the usual idealistic approach.

I don't know much about this situation. But usually the shit you've quoted from her assumes that the two of you are exclusive. Now she's going steady with a guy who's closer. She could have at least shown you the decency of breaking up with you before she's done all this.

>>17756530>>17756514
I should say: If you want an open relationship and think it'l be fine if you're keeping side chicks too, then go for it. But if you don't want that, you'll be giving 100% of your affection to somebody who's splitting theirs between you and another guy. Are you OK with that? Because it's seriously your decision man. If you can get pussy at home and you don't feel like it'l complicate things, whatever. You can do what you want my dude.

It just sounded like you wanted to be exclusive, and that's no longer your reality. So in that case, drop her before you get hurt.

>>17756536
Well i appreciate it man. im already devestated... i found the perfect girl that i chased my whole life and she picked someone else... </3
im just trying to move on and forget

>>17756552
People have needs. I led a girl on for a year and a half thinking I meant all the shit I said. But in the end I didn't have the nerve to keep going. Long distance is hard. Comfort is scant, and the warmth of another body becomes a near-constant craving.

I had the decency to not start fucking anybody before I called things off. She was kind, she said she'd understand if it happened. Because long distance is hard, she just wanted me to say that I needed to, if that's what I needed. We still talk because of that.

Hard shit brings out a lot of things in people that you wouldn't see during easy times. If she was invested in this, it could be just that. But she could have said something, she could have told you she needed something physical. She could have asked first. But she didn't. If one of you can't even begin to communicate honestly, then I really think that there are more than enough women who are better than her out there for you. Once the pain is gone, she might not seem so great after all.

>>17755651
>Cali girl

Op...

>>17756584
So are you saying i should keep talking to her and forgive her for this? Like she said when i move there she'll break up with him and to come find her but... i just dont know if its worth it anymore...

>>17756617
what does that mean? Are you saying cali girls cant be faithful? whats wrong with cali girls?

>>17756628
Op how many genuine Cali people have you met. This girl is a whore obviously, but I have never met someone born and raised in California that wasn't a snob or a degenerate.

Let me say this

Culture in california is so fucking different and ass backwards it's not funny. You know why she expects you to be ok with it? Because shit like that is common there and because commiefornians tolerate literally anything.

>>17756641
let me ask you this then...
im from the midwest and i hate midwest girls
Will I hate cali girls even more?

>>17756662
What state?

They're more shallow and superficial because they're exposed to fake people more often than not.

Ill assume you're white, go to maine or Virginia and tame a nice white girl. If you're not white you're on your own.

>>17756623
Well, I'm gonna repeat something.

It didn't seem like she asked you if it was OK first. Because open relationships are totally fine if you're fine with it. It doesn't sound like you are, but there's nothing wrong with it if everyone consents and communicates. But she didn't do that.

Communication is really important, and she didn't tell you that she wanted to see a guy on the side. She didn't ask if that was a dealbreaker. She just did it and then told you afterwards like you should have known that was the deal from the start.

But you're not a mind-reader, even though you're in love with somebody that expects you to be. If it happened to me, I would drop her because of that. When people have expectations and instead of communication, it just causes problems, that's my honest opinion. And if she did that to me, it would be enough to convince me that this is who she is, and I wouldn't want to be patient through that kind of behavior in the future. No games, no bullshit.

But right now you're asking me to literally make a decision for you. That's beyond advice. If you take any advice at all, it's to wait til you have a clearer head to make your decision. When you do, you can go over everything that's happened. You were there, not us. You know more than you can tell us about your situation. We can only speculate on what to do from what we're given.

>>17756692
Thanks bro
I just feel like its best i let people tell me this logically, i literally loved her soo much that if she told me to cut my dick off or shoot myself in the foot i would do it. So she has me locked up. It's just we talked for 10 hours a day and we clicked and it seems she wasnts to just friendzone me and have me as someone to talk to and im not really ok with that (not saying i dont enjoy talking to her)

>>17756776
Break it off now before you start to resent eachother or do something that'll make you hate her. If either of you move near eachother then you can pick it up on a good note if that's what you want to do.

Break into her home and fuck her docile.

>>17756514

he didnt say that at all.

just because soemone isnt 'the one' doesn't mean 'fuck her'.

>>17755623
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE STILL MAKING THREADS ON THIS?

Move the fuck on OP this is cringe.

>>17755623
>or do I end things
No, no. This isn't like that.
There isn't an option for you here.
The time for you to do something is long gone.
If it weren't obvious, she ended things.
When she told you she started dating a(nother) guy, that meant "it's over".
Words aren't even necessary. It's a statement of actions that transcends race, culture, and language, familiar worldwide.
Things are done.
She moved on.
She had moved on long ago, when she started flirting with another guy long enough to start dating him before telling you.
It will take you some time to grieve, but you need to move on, too.
She's gone.
There is no getting her back.
Anything you do to keep contacting her will only make you look as desperate and pathetic as you are in this situation, and only drive her further away from you.
We've all had one, the one that got away.
This isn't unique to you, and someday it will just be a fleeting moment of your past.
It's time to cut her off the way she cut you off.
Delete her contact info, and all your social media connections to her.
She's out. It's you now.
Back to drawing board.
WHAT DO WE DO WHEN WE FALL OF THE HORSE ANON?

OP here
thanks for the responses
I guess my next question is...what have you guys done to move on

In similar situation

> met person online
> share similar interests
> talk for a year and half
> lives in another country
> do pursuit it?
> or pussy out and just accept fate to be forever alone ?

>>17758314
Totally took her out of my life, spent the next week straight playing vidya with my bros.

>>17758899
its funny u say that, ima buy an xbox one on black friday

>relationship
>never met

Neeeeeext.