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I'm starting to feel way more depressed and suicidal than

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I'm starting to feel way more depressed and suicidal than I usually do. I'm 20 years old, and the more times passes and the closer I get to starting university, the worse I feel.

I am actually very ugly, and am looking forward to one thing in life right now, which is plastic surgery. I wanted to take my life away for a long time now, but I decided to wait it out, try and get surgery and try and make my problem go away.

But as the time goes on, I am starting to realize more and more that suicide in the near future is simply inevitable. I will bust my ass at university for 3 or so years, give it a couple more years after that to actually save up money from working and get the surgery at 25. And then proceed to kill myself.

I can't cheat nature, I've been born ugly, I will die ugly. Right now I'm just coping. I've been coping for a good couple of years. I realize that I'm just delaying the inevitable and I'm fucking crushed... the worst thing is knowing that I will end my life, be it sooner or 5 years in the future. I swear to God, if I looked decent I'd be the happiest dude alive. I feel cheated by nature. ...

I'm just biological trash and I'll show myself out of the gene pool.
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>>17752545
dude dont do it. fuck that man. love yourself not for anybody else but only for yourself.

you are ugly ok. am sure there must a ton of other things that you like about yourself
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>>17752545
>I'm just biological trash and I'll show myself out of the gene pool.
now this is wrong, biologically there is no difference between you dying now and living to 110 as long as you don't reproduce. Think of all the good you could do in those 90 years to help society.
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oh also, you say you want to kill yourself because you're ugly

this had got to be the most pathetic reason I've ever seen for a suicide. Post a pic then and let me see how much of a freakshow you really are.
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>>17752610
Yes. I like a lot of things. But how can you show that to people? Right now I'm out of school and have been for a year. I wait for my uni to start. I feel like people don't want to meet me, they want my shell, my appearance. I've had 1 fucking friend entire high school. He didn't care for how I looked. Such people are really fucking rare. I miss human contact so much.

>>17752612
Why would I want to help the very society that judges me for what I was born looking like and not for who I am as a person? People don't want to get to know me. I've become a bitter person from being treated like second-class my entire life. The only people I care about is my family.

>>17752613
Had you experienced my life, I'm quite sure you'd change your opinion. I won't be ridiculed online, sorry no pic.
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Don't do it man. Trust me I feel ashamed about somethings about myself as well, I suffer from bad breath, have a gap on my front two teeth, have an under bite, skinny as fuck, and have a pretty big forehead.

Maybe it's as simple as working out and gaining some muscle if you are kinda fat (Even if you aren't this is a good idea because more defined muscles make you look much better)

Better diet

If you have pimples and acne you can get creams and treatments and remove them.

Just be yourself! Man I have seen some hideous people out there, like extremely. They still manage to live a normal life. You can do it! Think about it clearly and you will come to a realization. Some people have half of there heads missing, missing limbs, terrible conditions, and etc. If they can live and prosper so can you.

You need to be happy and accept the fact that this is your body.
>>
No no no no, plastic surgery won't fix anything. Physically, maybe, but mentally you're just the same old insecure depressed guy. You're looking to towards external forces as the panacea to you're problems, when you should be looking inwards
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>>17752772
Thing is, I wasn't born with mental instability and insecurity in myself. I was a fairly normal dude, up until high school. I'm pretty sure that my problem isn't that of psychological nature, but the problem is the looks that caused me to become this way. I wasn't born ill, but unattractive.

>>17752750
Thanks man, I see your point, but I always feel like I have to try harder or prove myself. I feel so bad for those people that you named. I can't imagine how it is for them. I wish society wouldn't put emphasis on looks, that is all. All people have a personality to offer, only some people's personalities are overlooked because of how they appear to the eye, even though no one could choose how they look.

Mother nature is a cruel bitch.
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>>17752819
You don't have to prove or try harder for anybody, only for yourself. I do agree with what you just said, but you need to overcome all of that bullshit. Fuck what everyone thinks, eventually you will meet some people that don't care about looks.
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