Thread replies: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: WP_20150329_001.jpg (3MB, 2000x3552px) Image search:
[Google]
3MB, 2000x3552px
I'm in a bad spot in my relationship and tried what I could to remedy things.
Some background info:
- We met online playing a video game.
- I live in the US and she lives in Canada.
The main problem between us is the distance. Its about 2,000 miles. Although we are roughly 5 months away from having her here in the US with me.
So I think in general she has a very pessimistic attitude and fractured self confidence. She has low tolerance for things she does not like, is passive aggressive, and often leaves our games or closes Skype as soon as she is anything less than happy.
I have a very tolerant personality, like to explain everything in thorough detail, explain both sides of an argument, and express my thought process when we have an argument over any topic.
She interprets my lengthy explanations as being defensive, not admitting to what I have done to upset her, and trying to spin the argument to put her on the blame for the fight.
However that is never my intention or purpose. I try to explain the processes and thoughts to find the root of the conflict, identify it, see what caused it, and see how to prevent it. No matter how many times I try to do this she ends Skype calls and doesn't contact me the rest of the day. I do apologize for the behavior which hurt her, but I always want to go a step further to identify the roots of it. I try to change for her benefit.
So, with a good amount of back story here is our current issue:
I watch porn, she watches porn less often, but she isn't comfortable with me watching porn or looking at other women online. There have been times in the past she told me she is self conscious that I look at porn of women with bodies different than hers, so I must not be attracted to her or want to be with her.
I try to explain her that is not the case. I don't watch porn, or anything similar, to compare her to it or wish she was that way. Its porn, the purpose is to just get aroused and jerk off.
Continued...
>>
I've read all I need to know. Break up with her, she needs to fix her insecurities and her shitty personality before she can be in a successful relationship
>>
File: InstagramCapture_06278b9b-237b-4bad-bf0a-4e11bd81b10e_jpg.jpg (702KB, 1024x1024px) Image search:
[Google]
702KB, 1024x1024px
I'm trying to stop watching porn all together since its an issue which matters deeply to her. I used to go from 5-6 times a week about 10 minutes each time to about 3 times a month.
Each time I have looked at porn recently has been when she ends our Skype calls prematurely because I did something in a video game she didn't enjoy, like mess around when we try to win. Stuff like that.
So my problem is that I thought I could completely cut porn out. I've made progress but haven't been able to it completely yet.
So... I have lied to her the past 2 weeks about watching any. She has threatened to break up if it continues, and I know I can fully stop. I just didn't do it in the proper amount of time.
So yesterday I had to reveal I lied to her, but I thought I could stay low and stop watching porn completely even though I didn't at the time of saying I did.
Now she has removed me on Skype, removed me from social media, and game distributors like steam and battle.net.
I felt forced to lie almost. I knew I needed more time to change, and knew I could.
I either tell the truth and lose her there and then. Or I lie, and continue lying until I completely stop watching porn.
Lying seemed like the best option. I at least could get more time to solve this and get us back to how amazingly happy we were the first 6 months of being together.
She attributes porn as the reason we aren't happy anymore.
What should I do to try and recover?
>>
>>17748758
I'm agreeing with this post.
The fact that you met online and you haven't actually met IRL, means you really cannot determine the fate of your relationship.
I have always said, An internet girlfriend is merely a girl that you talk to online. You cannot determine if you truly love someone without being physically close to each other.
>>
>>17748758
I've tried to help her through them.
For example, I compliment her and she doesn't accept it straight away. She will respond like "Really? I don't know about that...".
She is perfect for me when she remains happy. However and sort of dislike or mishap and she is my polar opposite.
I really want to be there for her. She has explained she has been in bad relationships in the past. And has said before our porn problems this is the happiest she has ever been.
I sometimes wonder if she played a lot of the role for having the bad previous relationships.
>>
>>17748777
We have met 3 times total.
First time was 6 days. After that meeting we mutually decided to pursue this relationship despite the distance.
Second time was 11 days. It went perfectly.
Third time was about a month after we had the porn talk. Her mannerisms and behavior did change a little. And I could tell she wasn't completely comfortable all the time
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2