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Should I try to contact him?
some backstory: I had been unhappy in the relationship for a long time. I tried to talk to him about it, he would always listen and try to help but was really just of the opinion that it was my problem to work out and it was just all in my head. I felt like things had changed between us, he didn't seem happy and affectionate like he once did and I didn't understand why, so that was the source of my frustration. Anyway on Friday I brought it up again, but this time he seemed to actually agree. But he left right away saying it was too draining a conversation and he needed to rest. He did not contact me at all on Saturday. I didn't expect him to come back at all. But on Sunday he came back to "see how I was" and then wanted to leave immediately again. I just wanted to have a normal conversation, just try to start fresh again. But he wasn't having it. He said he thinks we have to "take a step back" and it seems all that means is to cut contact completely. I all but begged him not to do this. He said thinks it's for the best and "we gotta give it a try." I told him I'd miss him. He said "No you won't. You won't even notice it" I still don't know if that was meant to be dismissive or encouraging.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday afternoon. We used to talk every day. I can't tell if he really means it and thinks this will fix anything between us or if I just got dumped. But it feels like the latter. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I can't do anything except worry about this. But I'm afraid if I try to contact him it will just push him away, if he isn't done already.
The point is I can't deal with this much longer. All I ever wanted was to fix our relationship and get it back to a good place and it has come to this. I just don't know how I fucked up so bad. I don't know what to do now.
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>>17748259
TLDR my answer is yes.
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Tell him exactly what you said here, you pretty much just explained yourself what issues you need to communicate with him. If he still wants space then it's likely he just wants you to leave him alone. Don't beat yourself up over this, maybe taking a step back made him realize why the relationship wasn't working in the first place, and he's decided he may be better off it without it, you should try to figure out what went wrong for yourself.
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It could be that he is attempting to get with another girl, and using this "off time" to his advantage so he is not officially cheating. Or he just genuinely wants a break from you. It does seem shity, but most people won't actually tell you what's wrong to avoid a confrontation (this is likely because he finds the conversation draining)
There is something about you that annoys him, bothers him something your doing something your not.. It is hard to say what it is, you just gotta be insistent on knowing and and pry away at him and it will eventually come out.
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>>17748310
>>17748322
The last time we talked he acknowledged that he had been ignoring our problems. I said that before it became difficult between us, it was perfect. He actually agreed and said he wanted to "try to get there one more time."
He said this is his way of trying to do something to help the situation. "Taking action" he said. I just can't understand or agree with it at all. He said he doesn't want to stop talking to me, wants us to like each other again and then he does this. Like, it seems like his words an intentions conflict with what he is actually doing.
Is it just me or is it crazy? How do you tell someone you don't want to stop talking and then totally cut contact? I wouldn't even care if he was pursuing someone else. Even if we couldn't be in love anymore...I just want my friend back. I don't want to lose him completely, that's all I can really hope for at this point.
And I want to reach out to him but not trigger another draining conversation. I just don't know if I should even bother, or if I did, what I should say...
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A couple of days is not cutting all contact dont be so clingy and obsessive
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>>17748416
I'm not being clingy and obsessive I'm genuinely confused. This is someone I love and who says loves me back. We had talked every day, even if it wasn't much. It would be one thing if he actually said he's breaking up but he didn't.
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i sent him this
>hi, i hope it's ok that I contacted you. i just wanted to see how you were. it would be nice to talk again.
i guess we'll see what happens
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