GF demands phone to check my messages to old friend with benefit.

OP > 3+ years

Either drop ur gf or drop ur friend

I was in a super-similar situation, my gf was pretty insecure about this girl I had dated for a little bit. We were still talking about all kinds of stuff (we had a ton of shared interests) so of course my gf got paranoid. I more or less reiterated that there was nothing weird going on, and it was just the same as me talking to my bros or similar.

About a year and a half later, she couldn't resist and snooped through a few month's worth of chat history on a tablet we shared. Found nothing, because there was nothing, and then I held it over her head for a few days after.

Just tell her that nothing's happening. And then ask to see her phone too, if you're being "fair."

3 years is so far into the relationship where a lot of people start getting married. You should already know how the situation will play out.

End the headache and let her look, and see the nothing, and then you probably won't be badgered about it anymore.

>>17746677
Do you love your gf? If so and you can do without speaking to this old FWB why not be sensitive to how your gf feels and just cut it off? If you just cannot for any reason then the contact with your old FWB means more to you than showing your current gf the respect she deserves.

>>17746685
I'll suggest the same thing I told OP. Show your gf more respect than purposefully maintaining a relationship with another woman you know makes her very uncomfortable. I don't understand how that is so hard unless the other girl means more to you than your gf.

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>>17746677
OP. Do not give her permission check your phone. This is one of those turning points in a relationship. You have to play it right.
Theres a point in all relationships when your girlfriend will get jealous of another girl and tell you to stop hanging out with them or talking to them. If you listen you lose a TON of respect. Emphasize trust. You did nothing wrong and she has no reason not to trust you so don't give in.
If you want to keep the respect but still let her check your phone, you should leave your phone in a space where she has an opportunity to check it behind your back. If she's worried enough she will and it'll put her mind at ease. Do not get mad at her when she does. She's a girl and can't control the strong feelings she's having. Just do it and get it over with. You'll know if it worked because she will be really happy with you for seemingly no reason after and not bring it up. But DO NOT GIVE IN, to her unreasonable emotional demands. Be her rock that isn't effected by her bullshit and she will love you more for it.

>>17746701
>>17746704
And don't listen to these people. She knew about this FWB when you 2 got together. I promise you your relationship will be fine and you'll still be able to talk to your friend. The fact that she live so far away is a point in your favor, but ultimately doesn't matter.

>>17746711
and I guess you are going to tell us you are in a wonderful honest relationship with the woman of your dreams for the last 10 years.

>>17746719
It won't be fine. It gives OP's girl a pass to do the same and you bet your ass I would. There is an end to someone purposefully trying to humiliate me.

>>17746720
Not the women of my dreams but yea 11 years. This shit was year 2. I still talk to the girl I used to work with and she's friends with her to now. And I still talk to my friend I met in an AOL chat room when I was 15. They aren't friends but she doesn't worry about it anymore. Internet girl lives in another state now and is married.

OP, I was in a similar situation with my husband. He's been cheated on, and he knew I wouldn't do that, but he couldn't shake the fear caused by having been cheated on repeatedly throughout his life.

I had nothing to hide, so I let hims ee my messages. He looked through, was reassured, and it's never been a problem again.

If you really have nothing to hide, then no harm can come of it. It's a quick solution and can increase trust between you. My advice would be to go for it. However, be aware of jealous and controlling behaviors in the future. if she refuses to trust you and is constantly demanding that she check, then you have a major problem.

>>17746704
finally someone who gets it

>>17746727
How is he humiliating you? It's a friend he used to fuck which just became a friend when he got with you. Any purposeful humiliation is entirely in your mind.
>gives OP's girl a pass to do the same
Fine, if he's doing everything right she won't want to cheat on him and her having male friends shouldn't be an issue. Again trust. And not caving to her jealousy is doing something right.

Heres what usually happens and you see it all the time on this board. Gf tells man not to see men. Man listens. The girl expects the same out of her. She doesn't listen. When he brings it up he looks insecure. She loses respect for him and relationship suffers. It happens every fucking time. Spend more than a week on this board and you've seen it.