I posted this a bit ago but I wrote very poorly and did a bad

>>17743879
>My problem is that she cant seem to get over the times where I had broken up with her.

Seems pretty fair tbqh. To break up with her that many times over nothing, sure seems like you don't give a shit

>>17743879
I think you have it sort of right. You need to just give it time to rebuild your trust. Don't blame it on BPD because as you say that's just not gonna work (and I also don't think it's BPDs fault).

You fucked up by breaking up with her all the time, now you have to hope you have enough time left to salvage things. Don't give her shit for mistrusting you, for now that's absolutely fair. And don't break up with her over this.

>17743896

Yeah i know, it was fucked up but im willing to do anything to make it right.

im looking for advice

>>17743915
but what do I tell her? she wont accept that when I tell her. believe me we have the conversation a lot and we barely get through it. she usually just ends up giving up on the conversation

>>17743928
"I completely understand why you mistrust me, I broke up with you so many times for no reason at all. It's all my fault and I deserve this. I wish I could just magically snap my fingers and this would all go away but there just isn't any quick fix. We have to rebuilt your trust to me but that just takes time and I need your help."

If she doesn't accept that then she is sort of beyond reach. Maybe she doesn't actually want to be with you any longer because she realized what a cunt you are?

honestly sounds like you treated her like shit, but she is also exhibiting abusive behaviour.

telling you that there isn't anything you can do, telling you about how miserable she is at night, and then telling you to fix it, is emotional abuse.

i don't think you guys work well together.

for both of your sakes, you should probably break up and stop getting together.

>>17743928
This isn't about you being right though. Don't give her shit. If she says you're a disloyal neurotic asshole then she's actually right. Don't give her shit about this. You have to be the strong one for your relationship now, like she was during your first year.

>>17743936

well the thing is it is a realtionship where we are commonly telling eachother we want to be together forever and "you are the love of my life." we say more than we say hello. So even if I tried to break up with her it probably wouldnt work because I love her and I wouldnt be able to stay away, and she probably wouldnt let me leave.

maybe I should just roll with it, she will be sad but from my prespective nothing I can say or do will help, I have tried a lot of things. I just dont want to be miserrable all the time, freaked out that she is going to break down at any moment and I will have to stop whatever im doing to go help. It happens a lot. my friends have lost respect for me because i ditch them just about every time I see them because she panics. Im goingto see my friends today to celebrate my birthday, and she has already expressed that she dosent want me hanging out with these certain friends. so im probably in for it tonight.

Idk, I undersand she had it worse for awhile because of me and i feel bad about it. Maybe im just paying my dues

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shamless self bump

>>17743981
If your problem is that you feel bad and you're paying your dues then things are as they should be.

>>17744063
what do I tell her when she asks me how long. Or she begs me to fix it immediately. I always get stuck here. She treats it like it will never get better. Its really hard to make her understand and accept it will take time.