My girlfriend and me are both 31 and virgins. When I wanted to

>>17742615
>31
>virgin
Tell her that she isnt getting any younger and that she is basically spoiling a beautiful experience for some unknown reason.

Do you know why she wants to wait?

OP here. Please be gentle everyone, I know it's strange to be virgins at 31, but we're both neither ugly nor crazy.

When I asked her for reasons, she gave me two. One was that she's irrationally afraid of getting pregnant (which I don't want her to be either) and the other is that she thinks it's going to hurt.

>>17742615
Bruh how are you even a virgin at that age. You both are old enough, the time is now. I think you should just tell her, she might feel a bit better and open up.

You guys should take a special vacation, let her plan it with you, make it perfect

You'll probably have sex on that vacation

If that's not an option, then try doing a really romantic night, like cooking for her and all of that, take a bath together or something she would really like, drink some wine

Just a couple of ideas

>>17742638
Didnt she have any sex-ed?
In that case you need to talk about the birds and the bees.

Irrational fear of pregnancy comes from the fact that she doesnt unerstand how sex works exactly.

About the hurt part, it differs from person to person, but if she is aroused and you dont pack a baseball bat down there, you giys should be fine. Take it slow. Let it build up.

>>17742645

Well, that's what makes her fear irrational. She knows all the facts obviously, but then again there's that super small chance that the condom may burst exactly at a time when she's fertile and I can't pull out and then it might happen. She knows that that's almost impossible, but she's still somehow scared.

Apart from that, we've done quite a few things sexually. I enjoy licking her pussy and even asshole, she gave me blowjob and jerks me off every single time. I think the fact that I love to lick her (which she found gross at first) and that I'm much more open about what I want makes her think that I'm more or less experienced.

>>17742649
Both of you need perspective on the totem of sexuality... eating ass is a bit higher up than vaginal sex.

>>17742652
Kek

>>17742649
Well do this. Go buy a lottery ticket and place it on the nightstand.
Tell her that you can have sex with her with a condom and have a higher chance of winning the lottery than getting pregnant, or she should probably get a vesectomy.

She will never get pregnant if she doesnt have sex, but if she never really want to get pregnant she should call quits

Well when I tell about the odds she says that bad things always happen to her and she feels that she's exactly the person where it goes wrong.

>>17742615
>My girlfriend and me
My girlfriend and I. The easiest way to remember this is to think of the sentence with just you in it. "Me are 31 and a virgin" sounds retarded. "I am 31 and a virgin" is depressing, but at least grammatically correct.

>>17742822

Well, English is not my mother tongue, but thanks anyway.

>>17742828
No worries mate. You're doing very well if English isn't your first language. To help with your problem, you obviosly need to educate her about contraception and pregnancy I'm general. To be honest it worries me that a 31 year old women is this naive about the world. She has to lose her virginity at some point.

>>17742615
You've waited that long already.
Might as well go all the way and wait until you're married.

She's less fertile than when she was 18 anyway. It's unlikely she'll get pregnant unless you mean to get her pregnant. Of course you should tell her about your experience. You should always be honest.

Well I don't know what it would change if I told her that I'm also a virgin. I think there are too options:

1) She would be more relaxed because she doesn't feel as much pressure.

2) She would panick even more about getting pregnant because she might think I don't know what I'm doing.

Given our age, we know quite a few people that have children and my girlfriend keeps bringing up examples of this and that girl who didn't really want to get pregnant, but then accidentally got pregnant and now "her life is over".

>>17742638
It's pretty obvious that these are serious issues for her if they kept her from having sex for so long. I think she is simply hoping herself that if she waits it out juuuust a little longer, she'll magically not have issues with sex anymore. You need to tell her that if she can't personally find a way to cope, she needs to get therapy or something and see if that helps.

>>17742615
>My girlfriend and me are both 31 and virgins
>girlfriend
>girl
>31 year old virgin

She's lying to you.

>>17744292
How about her stance on abortion? I mean if she really doesn't want a kid, having the option to abort would give her some peace of mind I think.

Also counter with that those girls' lives might be ruined, but she is presently allowing this to negatively impact her life and has for years.

>>17744323

I think she's liberal when it comes to abortion, but obviously she doesn't want the whole procedure to be performed on her body.

Concerning the other people we know, it's just that all those girls stopped worked and suddenly turned into housewives and my girlfriend doesn't want that because she wants to be independent and go to work.

If she's not on the pill, she should read up on this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_family_planning
You can even explore that together. It helps a great deal to get in touch with your body like this, watch the effects of the period and how much you can actually feel.
Once she is past ovulation it is VERY unlikely to get pregnant. Add a condom and you should be safe.

It's no fun to have sex when you are that worried, so be patient and try to support her.

Thanks, I'll talk to her about it. Then of course we're also going to use condom and I will pull out. That makes it as save as possible, but I'm still not convinced she'll change her opinion just because it's so irrational.

>>17744318
No dude it's not common but it happens. It's usually because they have vaginismus or some weird complex/phobia, or they're the rare female sperglord.

Jesus, how fat are both of you?

>>17742615
>needs time because she is still a virgin
She's got it bass fucking ackwards.
Also why the hell wouldn't you tell her it's gonna be your first time aswell, if being inexperienced is her problem? Chances are she's neither afraid of pregnancy nor of the pain, but of not performing as good as you expect. Just tell her no matter what happens it will be the best sex you've ever had.

>>17745337

Not fat at all, sorry to disappoint you.

Anal sex.

>>17742615
she is not a virgin she probably lost it at like 13

>>17744967
NFP might convice her from the inside ;) It's no other than her own body who tells her she's safe.
It takes a few period cycles though until she knows how things are supposed to look and feel. There are diary printables all over the internet to keep track. You might also try the app Clue, but I'm kind of on the fence about sending personal data to companies.

First of all, yeah, you should tell her you're a virgin too. Weird that this hasn't come up.

Some other suggestions:
>Anal
>Vasectomy

>>17745583

Why is it weird? She hasn't asked or anything. Anal and vasectomy are definitely not options.

>>17745598
why is still a virgin? i understand with guys, they can be socially inept and push away any opportunities they get but all girls have to do is look half decent and go out sometimes. i know tons of really weird as fuck, socially retarded women that get fellas so it cant be because of her personality. is she a hambeast?

>>17745601

I don't really know the reason. She definitely not fat or ugly.

>>17745601
>all girls have to do is look half decent and go out sometimes
There's a lot more possible reasons than not being able to find someone to do it with. Women have a lot of irrational insecurities and fears.

>>17745601
>Push away any opportunities
Well, it works the same way for guys.
I'm a Virgin at 25 , and I had several girls pursue me to the point where they straight up told me they wanted to fuck, and I didn't do it because I had to work through some nasty shit from my childhood before getting over my insane fear of intimacy.
It's not innately easier for women to get laid, it just works differently. If you're willing to content yoursef with the dregs of the opposite gender, its always easy as piss. Getting someone actually desirable is not easier for girls than for men at all.

>>17745680
>>17745700
i agree that women can be bound by their insecurities and fear but its much easier for them to find a partner, even a decent one. men are more desperate with women, and will often go out with a girl just because she is ok looking. as i said in my first post, i know tons of really weird girls that get decent fellas because they are half decent looking. all a girl really has to do is put in a bit of effort and she can easily get a partner because men are easy. so ops girls is probably only a virgin because she is scared of having sex or has not tried, both of which are red flags but i guess op is just happy to have someone.

>>17745710
As a woman, the guys who are desperate are the ones who are undesirable, who can't find anyone else. You guys project your own feelings onto all men. My boyfriend and his friends did/do not have any more trouble finding quality women than women do.

>>17745737
>the guys who are desperate are the ones who are undesirable

i wasnt talking about desperate guys though. guys in general have lower standards than women. in most relationships, the guy is better looking than the girl. most guys will get with a girl just because she is ok looking. if you think guys like this are desperate then about 90% of guys are desperate in your opinion. every single guy i know or know of doesent really get on with their gf but they stay with them because of the sex. very rarely will i meet a couple that has genuinely good chemistry desu.

>>17745737
also, what do you even consider decent because 95% of guys do fuck all but play video games and drink

>>17745764
Yeah and most of the girls I know don't get on with thier boyfriends but stay with them because of the sex and potential for a family. It's the same thing.

If you think the guys are so much hotter maybe you're gay. On average I think they're pretty evenly matched.

>>17745772
Are you 16? That is not true. Decent can mean so many different things. Bare minimum is decent hygiene, similar attractiveness, passionate about something, gets along with you well, and is driven to succeed. The rest of the package matters too, can't have someone who's a cunt to their family, who's sexist, who treats you badly. So many good traits that add to a person, the more of them you have the more attractive you'll be. Things like being charismatic, charitable, funny, strong.

>>17745791
>most of the girls I know don't get on with thier boyfriends but stay with them because of the sex and potential for a family. It's the same thing.

not really because women are looking for the "one". women have a lot more to lose because they become less desirable, and its harder for them to have children, as they age. how is this even an argument anyway. anyone that has awareness knows that in general men have lower standards then women.

>Decent can mean so many different things

obviously but if someone only partakes in degenerate acts, they are clearly not decent, and will have no decent skills to offer their children. maybe guys are not so procrastinate where you live but most are here.

>>17742615
>>17742638

Tell your girlfriend your sexual history.
Not because of anything else in this thread, just because she's your partner and should know that about you. She told you, you should tell her.

Also, I think it will make her feel better. Being scared about new things is easier when you know the person next to you is just as new and inexperienced as you. It's like, well first time sucked, but it sucked together, and now we can practice and get better together.

As for the pregnancy fear, I get that, I had it too. I ended up getting my tubes tied cause of it. But anyways, try and ease her fears with a plan.
1. Use a condom, check it before hand
2. a) pull out
2. b) She likes butt stuff? finish in her butt
3. Pick a 2nd contraceptive, be it the pill, IUD, injections, diaphragm, spermicide. I recommend the copper IUD, but you both should do research and pick what's best for you both
4. Still not good enough? Fine! Use Natural Family Planning on top of all that (NOT BY ITSELF), basically she tracks her cycle and knows baby making days, so doesn't have sex on those days.

If you follow all these steps the chances of pregnancy are so low that if it happens then the baby is probably Jesus.

>>17746593

OP here. Thanks for the advice. The reason why I haven't told is a bit complicated. On the one hand, I didn't ask her, but she brought it up herself to stop us from having sex by saying she needed for time (she hadn't mentioned her fear of pregnancy back then). On the other hand, I fear that if I tell her I'm also a virgin, her fear might before worse because she'll be like "this guy doesn't even know what he's doing, I'll become pregnant". I feel that if she thinks I'm experienced it makes her feel a bit more secure about this issue.

>>17746593

I'll definitely try some of the things you mentioned. Only finishing in her butt won't be an option I guess. She's so afraid of getting pregnant that she'd never let me cum anywhere near her lower body. Once she was even super afraid when I came on the outside of her thigh in the shower.

>>17747032
You are 31. Surely you've stopped being an impulsive teenager by now and can give off an aura of competence? But then again you ejaculate on her in the shower.

>>17747586

Well it's hard to give off such an aura when you
're doing something for the first time.

>>17747032
Some people hate it when you tell that kind of lie to them.

My brother has germaphobia and he gets pissed off if I lie about the cleanliness of an object to him. If I accidentally touch his food while serving it wouldn't even cause any harm if I "forgot" to mention it, and he knows it too, but he still wants to know. If he catches me lying it undermines his trust in me and makes him super paranoid about anything else I might have touched. So I always tell him the truth, and he's been able to make progress because of it.

>>17747596

Ok, but I actually never lied to her because the issue of my virginity never came up and she never asked. So I just assume that she thinks I'm experienced because that would be normal thing and I'm also much more outspoken sexually and take the initiative.

>>17747704
And I don't technically lie to my brother. It's not about technically lying or not but about trust. If you believe knowing you're a virgin will scare her then that's a reason why you should tell her. Or she's going to trust you less once you do tell her.

File: Grab her.jpg (30KB, 470x246px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 470x246px

>>17742615
Just do what Trump did and...