NEET/shut-in improvement thread!

>>17737607
Bumping for my friends.

Not a NEET, but I genuinely enjoy helping people. And I'd like to contribute what I can.

20 years old, never had a job. How do I start?
I don't know what to put on my curriculum, I don't know what kind of job I should seek first, I have terrible social anxiety.

>>17738372
I'm assuming you live with your family.

If so, apply to things like call centers, labor jobs, retail places and restaurants. Probably the easiest jobs to start at. Some pay enough for you to live with roomies, some just put money in your pocket as someone that lives with your family. Feel free to make up a job for your resume. I did that and it makes my resume look a lot better.

How do I even make friends at uni? I'm pretty friendly I think, and I chat sometimes with people in classes, but how do I extend that outside of class? Whenever I start conversations with people I feel like a creep.

>>17738548
Ask yourself:

Am I being courteous and genuine right now?

The answer, of course, will always be yes if you're just trying to be friendly. You're not a creep. You're a guy (or gal) looking for friends. Ask people to hang out or study or if they'd like to accompany you somewhere.

Not a NEET anymore, looking to possibly move out at the new year with a friend.
Terrified and would like to know what I need to learn before I do this.

>>17738548
Not everyone wants to be made friends with. If you feel like you're forcing it, they can probably feel it too.

Otherwise, going for beers after class is a classic.

>>17738894
3 hardest things about moving out:
Washing clothes
Cleaning
Eating

>Washing
Do you currently wash your own clothes? Have you used a washing machine before? Do you know to not mix colours and whites? Can you iron? How do you fold a button up shirt? How do you iron a crease into trousers?
Sounds like basic shit, but if you stay on top, you're killing it.

>Cleaning
I don't know if you buy into fengshui or any of that nonsense, but plenty of people will tell you messy space = messy mind. It can lead to greater feelings of unhappiness and generally make where you're living not a nice place to be. You don't have to mop and vacuum every single week, but at the very least you should daily:
A) Make your bed (it's an easy one but makes a difference)
B) Remove all clutter from common areas, make sure everything is in its home
C) Do the dishes
If you're feeling extra motivated, you can even make sure you'e not leaving disgusting skid marks in the toilet.

>Eating
Learn to cook before you move out. 3 meals minimum. Spaghetti, beans, chilli, carbonara, roast chicken and veggies. Anything like that. Grocery shopping is a chore and so is cooking, but it saves you so much money and is far better for you. If you get 3 meals under your belt, grilled cheese, toast, cereal and that sort of stuff can generally supplement. PROTIP: buy frozen vegetables and add them to the side of every meal, they're cheap and easy.

Everything else is easy, set up an automatic transfer for your bills, set a reminder on your phone to take the bins out the night before the dump truck comes and set expectations/ground rules with your housemate before the problems arise.

If/when you finally do move out, it will be scary. I remember my entire first week I felt kinda lost and abandoned. But, one afternoon I came home with a six pack of beer, fried up some bacon on the stove and watched tv really loudly and occurred to me that I could do whatever I wanted and it was going to be OK.

27, NEET but finally getting back on my feet after almost four years of serious depression.

I can't seem to stop comparing myself to my peers. I see people my age or even a few years younger who are successful or well on their way to achieving their goals, and I can't help but feel like a total failure in comparison.

Any advice for dealing with these feelings (beyond "focus on you", I am definitely trying that already) would be appreciated.

>>17740357

Hey man. I'm 34 and can relate a lot to what you have said. All of my friends have successful careers, most own their own homes, all are settling down with women (I've been to 3 weddings this year). I am absolutely nowhere in comparison. I am single, broke and currently living at home as a result which is soul destroying at my age. I have been hugely depressed at times this past few years as a result of measuring my own lack of success in life against that of my friends. Just recently, I have begun making progress and feel I am dealing with things better.

I think it is almost impossible not to compare yourself to your peers in this day and age. None of my friends are more intelligent or "better" than me on a human level and I doubt yours are too. Some people simply play the game of life well and are able to live a depression/anxiety free life which allows them to focus fully on their careers and relationships etc. You have to accept where you are at, as difficult as it can be. Impatience and falling back to old habits are always a danger. I have found meditation to be a big help in staying more grounded and not getting caught up in negative thinking etc too much recently. Its not a spiritual thing at all for me, purely practical and I would recommend it highly, do it every day if possible. You will notice the results.

I suppose I don't have any greatl advice as I'm still grinding away at making up for lost time in life myself after spending my entire youth afflicted by anxiety, depression, lack of direction, laziness and an internet addiction.

I have a career goal now which is a long shot. But I choose to pursue it as it gives me something to hope for. I hope to move out in the New Year, even if it means doing a dead-end job to support myself. I am also taking the first steps at online dating which isn't ideal but again, it gives you some hope.

Thats the big thing here, hope. Without it, life quickly becomes unbearable.

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> listen to other depressed people about improving life
> tfw nobody takes their own advice
> tfw would you rather ask an advertiser or your friend to market the most important project of your life?

cmon fags

>>17740357
I was the same way. I'm not really sure what changed for me, I think for the most part it just improved watching myself get better. The more things you do and the closer you get to 'normalcy' and being able to carry conversations and all the milestones that matter to you, and the more you seem like you (outwardly) have your shit together and have goals for yourself, the more you'll find other people think your path wasn't/isn't wrong and the easier to accept it'll get.

>>17740550
Thanks for your response. I've never done anything like meditating and will definitely look into it. Good luck with your goals, anon. You've made it this far, and you're not alone.

>>17740834
Thanks, man, that's reassuring.

where can i make online friends if i'm pretty much a loser and a boring person but i want to get better and find friend(s) like myself

>>17741446
You should strive for real life friendships ideally, they're more rewarding. But if you're not ready to make the step yet or struggling to find some friends, our discord is focused on both self-improvement and supporting each other through companionship. Come join it~
https://discord.gg/AAhJ6eR

Does it really get better? People say that all the time, but it feels like it gets worse. Lost hope within the future. Probably just a self-esteem problem though. There's just no guarantee of success.

>>17742486
It doesn't "get" better. You make it better.

>>17742486
Short term yeah, everything you're going through right now that's so bad will pass. But you need to make things better yourself long term. What's going on Anon? What do you need help with?

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how do I make things fun again?

>>17743538
I'd recommend taking at >>17731780 Figure out what you find fun and recharging, and do those.

Keep doing the stuff you used to enjoy too and don't withdraw. Hopefully that'll start to change your outlook and help you find things fun again. There's also some great stuff in the Pastebin that might be able to help you pull through with depression, I suggest taking a look at this one as a starting point.
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/16/things-that-sometimes-help-if-youre-depressed/

So I've been going out of my shell a lot more. Right now I'm trying to actually make friends, cause I've never actually had friends before. I joined this latin dance club at college and I am on good terms with a lot of people. I went out clubbing with a few people (I've never been clubbing before) by accident, but I love to dance so I ended up having a great night. And the others seemed to have a great night too.

I only see these people once a week. The following week we were really happy to see eachother. The next week they went out again, but I couldn't go out because of exams, so I couldn't go out with them. Then the following week they went out again, but I couldn't go out because of exams. Then I noticed that they were hanging out with me less and the few of them were hanging out with eachother as their own group. And now they're not inviting me out to go clubbing or parties.

So now I need to know -- the key to having friends and maintaining friendships is to hang out outside of things that require us to be together, right? And that I can't deny them two times in a row, right?

>>17745251
>So now I need to know -- the key to having friends and maintaining friendships is to hang out outside of things that require us to be together, right?
Bingo.

>And that I can't deny them two times in a row, right?
You can, but the more times you decline invitations to hang out with them the more likely they are to not invite you out again. Better to accept and bail early if possible. And if you decline suggest alternatives - and follow through - or take the initiative and ask about hanging out with them some time yourself to get back in their good graces. You have to take steps to maintain and grow the friendships you're making yourself. Ask yourself what you've done to do that so far.