>be virgin >meet girl >tell her the idea of sex is very

Just ask "what else did you lie to me about" and she'll understand why you're anxious.

You aren't being unreasonable but being reasonable isn't the solution to everything. Do you think that this lie is a part of greater pattern? or a one time thing? I don't think it's that horrible to want to cover up parts of your past that you aren't proud of but it's really up to you.

>>17732275

I'd make it clear that you won't tolerate lies in your relationship.

Then leave the past in the past. We do that when we are +30

>>17732302
If I ask her that, it comes off as me trying to resolve the situation and go back to normal. Which Im not sure is true.

>>17732324
Sounds like you want to punish her. Unhealthy behavior.

>>17732344
Punish how? Never thought of doing anything to punish someone in general before.

OP, you sound like a person with very high standards, I relate to that and respect that.

My advice is to end the relationship.

I recently had to end a relationship because my gf had cheated on somebody in the past. I haven't and never would cheat on anybody so that was over the line in my book. Similarly, you are a virgin and while you can stomach a woman having sex a couple of times, you certainly can't stomach a "wild phase" (jfc, just the fact that people find this socially acceptable is sickening).

Stick to your principles

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>>17732275
>>17732369
>tfw the woman I like had a "wild phase"
It would be fine if I'd had this experience too, but as someone who's still a virgin I find it hard to push past these two totally different pasts.

>>17732354
You are currently ignoring her because you're angry about what she did. She's sending you mixed signals, the sad messages imply that she is sorry and the angry ones imply that you should be sorry. This is what's really bothering you. You don't feel like you should hold any of the blame for this current conflict and she is trying to put a portion of it on you.

Your silence is a rejection of her terms. You want her to rethink her approach and be humble about her transgressions. Maybe she really should but she most likely won't. Expecting her to understand your exact feelings at the moment isn't entirely realistic. If you want this situation to resolve you are going to have to communicate openly and firmly about how you feel.

>>17732369
>>17732381
Also I halfway agree with this anon. If you really think her behavior is irredeemable, say so and end the relationship maturely.

>>17732370
Well I guess it's a question of how you value your virginity. Like, is it something you're saving for a special person, or is it something you just kinda wanna do away with then move on from there.

Personally I lost my virginity at a young age so the ship has sailed on that for me, but I still have a mind for marriage and want to meet somebody with similarly high standards in other areas. Like, I never had a "wild phase" and I would quit the relationshit if I found out my gf had one.

>>17732381
Woah I felt a lot of projection there. The messages are the last thing bothering. They are emotional and I know how she gets when we fight. I dont have a resolution in mind so I havent talked to her yet.
Im angry she lied. Im angry that its true she was promiscuous. Im angry she never how I felt about it and lied anyways. Im angry I never had a chance to decide if I want to accept the truth. I guess I really am using the lie to hide that issue. If the lie was something I didnt care about Id let it go.

>>17732396
Maybe you're right. The source of my advice is definitely my own personal experience with conflict. It's my belief that you can boil down any issue between two people into interchangeable motivations, emotions and blind spots to come to an objective solution. I guess the weakness is that when I don't have enough information I accidentally start substituting my own feelings. If my advice doesn't suit you, feel free to discard it.

>>17732275
Wow. You're such a virgin, it shows through your text.

Who cares if she had sex before. She wasn't with you then. Get over it. Stop being such an insecure manchild. Honestly.

The reason you see so many people with this issue on /adv/ is because they're all insecure manchildren.

How many people a woman has been with doesn't matter. I've dated girls in the past who have had 15+ partners. However, they all had higher-education degrees, came from good families, and were well-rounded people.

Also, you made up a lie to try and get her to admit something to you. That says more about YOU than anyone else.

>>17732404
The more I think about it, the more I can see where you are coming from. On top of the issues I think are making me angry, I do feel like they are all her fault. So when she doesnt accept that it does make me want to be less forgiving.

If her family mention her being wild that is a cause for concern.

Either way you aren't wrong for wanting to know but don't take r9ks opinion that a woman who has slept with three guys is a whore or some thing silly.

>>17732411
Have you read the Bible, you fucking idiot?

>>17732407
>Wow. You're such a virgin, it shows through your text.
Thank you. If you cant understand why I care then theres nothing more to say. If I didnt care I wouldnt be a virgin. However while you call virgins manchildren, it looks like a cover up so you dont feel bad for your slutty ways. I can ad hominem as well. Im fully aware of the problem with my lie. I feel as though I was minor enough for something that I really care about and could effect me for the rest of my life.

>>17732415
I read fiction all the time, anon

>>17732407
>How many people a woman has been with doesn't matter.

Holy fucking shit you are delusional. What's your tumblr?

>The reason you see so many people with this issue on /adv/ is because they're all insecure manchildren.

If only this were true, you could be the voice of reason. Let me be your counterexample. I am not an insecure manchild but I sure as shit don't date sluts. I am not a manwhore, nor have I ever been, and I have standards. Sorry that this triggers you but you don't get to act incredulous when people don't share your extraordinarily white knight sentiment that women are entitled to date anybody regardless of their past.

>girls in the past who have had 15+ partners
>well-rounded people

It's true, only not in the sense you mean it...

>>17732396
No matter how this dressed up as a moral issue, when broken down and you look deep inside yourself the driving issue will be the fact you're a virgin and she's not.

You handled the thought that two previous dicks were ok but I think you were always upset about it, and now it's an excuse to take the lid off that boiling pot.

You'll get over it. With or without her. But the same thing is going to happen again with he next girl.

>>17732422
>when broken down and you look deep inside yourself the driving issue will be the fact you're a virgin and she's not.

not him but actually the issue is that she might have fucked more dudes than she led on but is telling OP that he shouldn't even ask, super sketchy

>>17732422
Id like to think that this is an exception and that any gf wouldnt usually lie about something someone thought was important and stay with them for a year.
Youre right though. I think sex is important so I dont like the idea of being with someone who doesnt agree. The way I see it, 1 partner is really enough to decide if sex is important to you or not. Could have been a mistake when you were young and you didnt know how you felt about sex yet. The second partner kinda reveals more about your thoughts. But I dont know the circumstance of the second partner and I could find it perfectly acceptable. Not that it matters since it wasnt 2 partners anyways. Thats just the way I thought about it before.

>>17732275
She obviously has no problem lying to you. The "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." attitude is a characteristic of an unfaithful person.
Explain to her why you don't want to be with her anymore, and break it off. You should do it at a nice resturant so she doesn't make a scene.

>>17732391
I think it's not virginity itself, but sex in general. Because she's had several partners and probably hookups in the past there's no way she values it as highly as I do.

>>17732433
Not a bad way of rationalising an emotional response, a healthy way of looking at the two known prior.

>>17732431
Making it about lying is not acknowledging the core emotional response. When in fear of discovery/losing something we value the basic human instinct is to deflect, often by lying or distracting.

Her current behaviour is the best indicator of what the future holds.

>>17732447
>Her current behaviour is the best indicator of what the future holds

So someone who's going to lie to you so you don't "overreact"?

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>not multiplying the number of guys a chicks claims to have fucked by 5
>not exclusively pursuing virgins

How many times must betas get cucked before they comprehend the importance of chaste women?

Our ancestors didn't just arbitrarily decide virgin girls are better

And the rare cultures who DIDNT value them are nothing but primitive memories now

shes lying

If even her family is saying that she used to have a "wild side" you can times whatever number she gave you by 10-50. The normal would be 3x whatever a women says.

dump her and move on. Once a hoe always a hoe. you deserve better

>>17732467
Its obvious she lied from her response. No one questions that.

Been where you are, girlfriend used to be polyamourous, sex with people she barely knew, all that. Happily in a two year relationship with her. When she lied to be the first time I acted calm and composed hiding a lot of anger and told her sternly that lies had destroyed several past relationships of mine and that what I had with her would fall apart fast if she lied further. She has made the best effort to be honest since correcting herself when lies escape her and being very apologetic. Be serious but understanding, don't impose your will on her but make it known you aren't to be played with. Best of luck anon.

>>17732474
>Been where you are, girlfriend used to be polyamourous, sex with people she barely knew, all that.
Jeez, man. Have some self respect.

>>17732275
If it were me I'd never respond after that. She's a slut and a liar. Either drop her or not.

>>17732444
This, except the nice restaurant thing is unnecessary. She doesn't care if she lies to you as long as she convinces herself it's for your own (really her own) good. People like that are not worth your time, OP.

>>17732275
>Dating a lying turbo slut

get out while you can op

>>17732486
The nice resturant is a useful too with women. They're emotional creatures with little intial reasoning skills. Taking her to a nice resturant, and then telling her that it's over will prevent her from having a tantrum.
Change your locks before you do it, though. Also, have an alibi, so she doesn't say you beat or raped her. Set up cameras and microphones in yor car so you can catch her vandalizing your car if you can too.
There was even one guy who taped the whole confrontation of him breaking up with his girlfriend showing evidence that she cheated on him, and put it on Youtube so the girl's family wouldn't try to retaliate if she tried to tell them that he cheated on her. I think he said "Who the fuck is Thomas Rew?" or something like that.
The point is that you can't just break up with women anymore without being careful she doesn't try to fuck up your life.

>>17732463
tell me where to find one

if I did in fact find one, I'd probably have to marry her

if I just want to date, I want to fuck her. so in that respect wouldn't it be better to date non virgins, so as not to soil the chaste qts?

>>17732474
still have to decide if Im okay with a gf with this history. Which is why I we had the conversation before. I wanted to decide then, not now a year later.

>>17732463
Why date a woman you think is lying to you.

why don't you just fuck her OP?

>>17732571
Why would I disregard the morals Ive upheld all my life?

>>17732479
some men are so grateful a girl gives them pussy they will accept anything

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>>17732582
because she's used goods already

if your virginity is the concern, I'm sorry but the only way its ganna work is if u find a virgin urself

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>>17732622
Ok. Not very related. Maybe this one is more related.

>>17732582
sorry to inform you but she is literally worthless,
you don't see it now but you will soon,
bust in that and vanish brother

>date slut for a year
>still haven't had sex

the fuck is your problem. either she's chaste now and respecting your gay ass bullshit or she's fucked 20 guys and counting behind your back. either way you really don't deserve her so break up now idiot

>>17732645
this.
i dont mean to worry you but she has most likely cheated on you, multiple times,
and this is because you refuse to provide her with what she is looking for,
no ones innocent in this situation

>>17732463
What about a girl who told me up front during a very personal conversation that she's fucked "like 17 guys"? Surely she didn't fuck 85 guys, r-right?

>>17732275
>>17732370
This made me think, OP. Are you still a virgin even being with her?
If so, I doubt someone with a past like that is willing to endure that much without sex, if you catch my drift.

She lied because she was worried you wouldn't be interested anymore. And more than likely, you wouldn't have been.
I'm not saying it was right of her to lie, but she probably just did it because she didn't want to disappoint/scare you off.

>>17732275
I'm going to give you the same advice a lot of people have already given here. Sit her down and explain to her that you feel strongly about her but you don't tolerate lies. You need to have a face to face talk and lay everything out.

That means you need to be honest too, so anything that you haven't told her is something you need to come clean about as well. Explain to her that this is her chance for her to come clean about anything she hasn't told you and that after it's been brought up, it will be dropped forever.

In short... Have The Talk, Get Everything Out, Drop It.

>>17732656
probably not, but its entirely possible shes leaving out blowjobs

>>17732275
Let me tell you something.
If you don't like this leave find what you want.
Other than that you must live with the fact that she is a slut that has been fucked by 15 guys and her first time belongs to Jimmy Joe Big Black Dick the jock she met in high school.

She is probably even friends with him and the other guys on facebook.

If you want to live on your terms and you don't want to dedicate your life to someone who is very self-centered I would suggest you
>find someone else

>>17732381
>sad messages imply that she is sorry
no they don't. If she was sorry she would say she is sorry. Sad messages are an attempt to gain sympathy from OP and the mad ones because he doesn't fall for it

>>17732675
Weve talked about it and shes accepted how I feel. Its not like Ive never touched her. From how her family treats me its kinda like shes hoping Im the one to settle down with.

>>17732693
>it will be dropped forever.
What if this isnt true
>>17732687
But knowing how I feel about it and still lying is a bit much.

>>17732749
how do you know she hasn't slipped off and fucked some other guy when your back was turned? being serious

>>17732761
You never get a guarantee. But I dont feel like she would do something to actively hurt me like that. You can always be skeptical though.

>>17732275
>woman
>Lying
This just in: water is wet. More news at 11

>>17732795
Are you gay

Perhaps end it. Just be mature about it and end it. She lied to you and betrayed your trust. You will be a better person because of it.

>>17732773
Have you had sex with her?

>>17732275
If you've been with her for a year and still haven't had sex you should just kill yourself. The problem isn't her, it's you.

>>17732872
Why be a virgin if you are going to have sex the first chance you get

>>17732749
>From how her family treats me its kinda like shes hoping Im the one to settle down with.
Are you really okay being the beta male that she settles down with after sucking lots of alpha dick?

C'mon man.

>>17732875
Oh god, people actually think like this? Hold onto your virginity! It's sacred!

Then get hit by a bus and die a virgin.

Just fuck her brains out and enjoy the piece of meat that is the female body.

>>17732904
>Someone doesnt think sex is meaningless
I know its hard for you to comprehend.

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>>17732275

Get over it or find a different girlfriend.

>>17732907
Never said it was meaningless, but shit, life isn't forever. Stop dwelling on this shit and have some fun.

>>17732907

Lets stop pretending that the sperglords here actually care about the meaning and importance of sex because you all know for a fact they don't.

They care about the meaning and importance of sex with the girl they want to have sex with. They only care about the "emotional connection" of sex when they're "emotionally connected" to a girl they want to have sex with then sperg out once they find out that she's had sex before.

They don't give a shit about the meaning of sex, guys, they give a shit about the meaning of sex to the girl they want to have sex with. I'm really tired of us pretending like the robots actually have this high moral stance on sex when in reality they just care about the girl they like never having been touched before.

If a smoking hot 10/10 weaboo chick with big tits and a pro LoL twitch account hit them up on the computer box and asked for their dick they would IMMEDIATELY fuck this girl and not give a shit about emotional connection. They only care about it when it benefits them and you know it.

>>17732463
It's very hard to find a virgin girl at the ages of 20+ unless there's something wrong with her.

>>17732463

>How many times must betas get cucked before they comprehend the importance of chaste women?

I don't understand what this sentence is supposed to mean. Half of it is memes and the other half is just saying something as if saying it is supposed to prove its validity.

>Our ancestors didn't just arbitrarily decide virgin girls are better

They kind of did, anon.

>And the rare cultures who DIDNT value them are nothing but primitive memories now

I'm not sure what virginity has to do with the rise and fall of civilizations.

>>17732871
Anon, it is really, REALLY important that you answer this question.
Girls like to fuck. That she does in particular is an obvious fact.
Now, if a girl likes you she will bear not fucking you for about a month, maybe two or three tops before violently pulling you into the bedroom and losing interest if you don't fuck her then.
If the two of you have not fucked so far, you're not only already being cucked, but even set up to be her faithful provider in exchange for nothing for the rest of your life.
In that sense, GET OUT.
Find a girl that likes you , and bang her.
Repeat that as much as you like, then settle down with a girl who actually convinces you. After sowing your oats you will also stop caring about her number of previous partners.

>>17732925
>Projecting this hard because you dont have morals
Whew

>>17732927
>false facts meant to scare betas

>>17732656
The rule actually is about 3 times what they say.
Girls real number = what they say multiplied by 3
Source: Stifler

My girlfriend says she had had sex with about 30 guys and gals. I honestly believe it is somewhere near 100. That is part of the reason I told her we are done...BUT I am sitting in her living room, eating her food, using her Internet to make this post, and going to fuck her at least twice tonight, after I have reiterated that we are not back together and this is just a booty call! FTW!

How do people like OP view blowjobs? Do you count that towards anything, does it make a difference?

>>17733231
Of course they do.

>>17733231
It varies. I think blowjobs are over the line but something like a handjob is too far. Like a girl could be a virgin but have given 100 blowjobs and its a pretty big turn off. Though I dont view it as sex I dont like the idea so its harder to make an opinion about it. If the blowjob count was very low, so youre not a blowjob slut Id probably ignore it.

>>17733231
Im not half as extreme as OP, but for me its something fundamentally intimate. If it's not sex, it's something close to it. That clip from Clerks comes to mind.

>>17732961
>After sowing your oats you will also stop caring about her number of previous partners.
You arent serious are you? I've been with a couple of women, and I still care about their history. It's not as if I'm a virgin hunter or some shit, but if I found out a woman slept around that's still going to be a major issue if not a dealbreaker. Just as nothing fundamentally changes when you lose your virginity, it does not follow that your values would change too.

Reminder, if you are with a girl who had "wild phase", she will rebound and seek that pleasure later on in your relationship, with other guys.

>>17732275
You are dumb as shit and are over reacting to what you said was acceptable in your post. YOU LIED to HER to catch her in what you only think is a lie. Wild behavior to them could be referring to the two people that you already know about. You are so myopic and selfish that I hope they ask their parents why they told you that just for them to then catch you in a lie. Break with her, kys

>>17732369
U broke up with ur girl bcuz she cheated on someone else lmfao ur on a whole different level of stupid

Why is this lame /r9k/ bait story still up?

>>17732275

The question is not if your gf had a "wild phase" in her early days. The true question is if she´s now a boring cunt that wont do anything wild with you.

>>17733778
If it were only two she would have said that she didn't lie. She obviously lied.>>17733782

>>17733779
His gf was a cheater. Why wouldn't he.

>>17732961
>After sowing your oats you will also stop caring about her number of previous partners.
Yes, if you care about sex, but do it anyways eventually you will stop caring since you contradicted the reason you care.

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>>17732275
Can't turn a hoe into a housewife here's y

Firstly I'm belive we should not have sex till marriage because it's leads to alot of abortions, (which is mostly paid for by taxes), broken families, which results in damaged children. Along with it increases the levels of infected individuals with Stds, which is nasty. Now for both men and women but more so for women since they are more emotional, the more sexual partners you have the harder it is for you to connect with your new mate.

For men, they start seeing women as just fuck sleeves and always crave the next high. " like a drug""

For women, well when has sex, she produces a bonding chemical that only ever produced when she is breastfeeding he baby. More sexual patterns the more difficult they have to bond with their partners,& like men start serching the next high.

Now women fall in love / bond trough sex
While men fall in love / bond trough getting to know you.

So when a guy sees or interacts with a women that is slutty or portrays herself in that light he is all ready catoragising her as a women he can't take to mama and just a fuck. Which in turn is bad for women since men will just act in a pump and dump culture like we have know. Which cause all these negative issues in society.
The pressure really is on women doe because they are the gate keepers. Men only go as far as the women want. ( not counting rape since that's another issue )

>>17733779
>being so dumb that you think you're somehow immune to her cheating on you because it happened to someone else instead

The only person on a whole different level of stupid here is you. She did it once and she'll do it again if she feels like it.

>>17732275
She is exactly the same person she was before you learned this, and if you liked her last week, there is no reason why you shouldn't today.

Her past made her the girl you liked.

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>>17732275
> Girl didn't want to tell you the truth because she knew you'd overreact
> Find out truth
> Overreact
Sounds like she's right on the money. She read you like the funny pages. She was completely justified.

The past is her business, not yours. Your past is your business. Share it, tell it, the choice is up to you.

As a wise man once told me, there was only ever 1 perfect person on this planet, and we nailed Him to a tree 2000 years ago.

So stop slut shaming this poor girl. Either be with her, or go fuck your morals. Now can we stop posting these fucking virgin threads daily? Fuck, they're older than the shit stains on my shorts.

>>17734435
>find out your bf using to rape kids
He is exactly the same person he was before you learned this, and if you liked him last week, there is no reason why you shouldn't today.

Him past made him the boy you liked.

>>17734468
t. person who thinks hiding shit in a relationship is healthy

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>>17734468
>>17734435
I like how both of these arguments can be used to condone any behavior, no matter how terrible, as long as it isn't happening in the present moment.
There might be a hole in your argumentation if it can be used to justify raping children or lightning hospitals on fire.

That being said, a girl who is shown to be manipulating someone by lying can no longer be trusted. The hidden truth often isn't as important as the fact that a lie was fabricated.

im a virgin too and i only care about how beautiful a girl is
i would rather sleep with a gorgeous girl who had 100 partners than with an average girl of 2-3 partners

>>17734501
everyone would rather stick their dick in someone beautiful. But no one wants to be in a serious relationship with a slut.

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>>17734477
Rub a dub dubs.

Exactly what part of the "none of your fucking business" concept did I not make clear?

Just because you stick your penis into her, that does NOT make you Judge and Jury over every decision she ever made in her life. So get over yourself. If you're going to dump a woman because she had legal, consensual, mutual fun years before she even knew you existed, give up dating and become a monk.

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>>17734489
> having sex
> lighting a hospital on fire
Well, that's a new fetish.

Jeebus H. Christ ... 2016 and you expect ppl to not have had several prior sexual encounters .. water under the bridge .. clearly she sees you as bf/husband material and didn't want to scare you off.

>>17734518
The point is, she's a lying manipulative hypocrite NOW, not in the past, and that's my business. I don't care about the past slut part as long as she's emotionally healthy, but willfully manipulating someone she's supposed to trust makes her a bad spouse.

>>17734518
>none of you business
t. person who thinks hiding shit in a relationship is healthy.
If you become involved with someone it becomes their business. Dont want it to be their business, dont get involved with them.

>>17734526
You didnt make an argument that distinguishes between the two. You are riding on the assumption that 1 is okay and the other is not. Im not that anon by the way but its the obvious hole in your argument hes talking about.

>>17734435
>>17734468
>you can do anything you want to whoever you want no matter how terrible it is and no one should judge you for it ever as long as you don't get caught at the moment you did it.

I hope you enjoy using that argument in court one day when they find out about all the children you raped 5 years ago faggots.

>>17734518
> that does NOT make you Judge and Jury over every decision she ever made in her life
It 100% does. You are the only judge and jury in deciding who you stick your penis into. Hiding information from court is a felony.

>>17732275 (OP)
>Am I being reasonable
Yes
>just using the fact that she lied as an excuse.
It's not an excuse an perfectly acceptable. If she hadn't lied to you now, she would have later.
>I know I cant ignore her forever.
Actually you can
>>17734468
> Girl didn't want to tell you the truth because she knew you'd overreact
> Find out truth
> Overreact
>It's overreacting to not want an untrustworthy slut
>As a wise man once told me, there was only ever 1 perfect person on this planet, and we nailed Him to a tree 2000 years ago.
That's no excuse to be a liar and even The Bible says once you know right from wrong, you don't have any excuse to not improve/be a habitual sinner. She knew exactly what she was doing
>So stop slut shaming this poor girl.
If she didn't to be shamed, she shouldn't have acted like a lying slut
>Now can we stop posting these fucking virgin threads daily? Fuck, they're older than the shit stains on my shorts.
Where do you think you are right now
>>17734468
>The past is her business, not yours. Your past is your business. Share it, tell it, the choice is up to you.
>>17734518
>Exactly what part of the "none of your fucking business" concept did I not make clear?
Stop being hypocritical. It is his business if she was his gf and now she's just assblasted now that he knows she's a liar.

>>17734518
>>17734572
>Dont want it to be their business, dont get involved with them.
Equally/more importantly don't lie to the person you want to get involved with in the first place

I think Im going to text her when I get home. Im still not sure what it is I should say so Ill just ask to meet in peson.
This cant be a bad idea right? Its almost been a week since I talked to her.

>>17734758
Has she apologized at all in the week she's been sending you text? You don't know where she is do you?

>>17734768
Not the apology Im looking for. Shes probably at home. Her part time job shift ended a little bit ago.

>>17734526
The fact that you can insert that absurd scenario into the argument without changing anything is the point, it's just a shit argument.

He knows. Hes just pretending to be stupid.

>>17734824
Text her and meet.

>>17732275
Should you be upset. Possibly. Nothing wrong with it.
Should you end the relationship? Probably not.
Just ask her to be honest, did she sleep with any nignogs? If so then dump her.
Also get yourself checked no matter what.

>>17734824
I know that, just wondered if she offered one as she sent sad/mad messages of the last week.

>>17734923
Nignogs?

>>17734824
I wonder if she asked her parents what they said to you? If it were me I would. If so she knows they didn't say their daughter was promiscuous. Guess she stopped trying to contact you and why you now want to contact her.

>>17734930
blacks

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Break up by telling her you're letting go of the past.

>>17734937
You seem confused. At what point did I say she stopped trying to contact me?

>>17732275

Not having read the 100+ posts in this thread...

It sounds like you're pretty young and inexperienced, so you don't know this yet, but almost EVERYONE lies at the start of relationships. Maybe not necessarily in overt and explicit ways, but almost every single person is partially pretending to be someone they're not usually--in the vast majority of cases, a better version of them selves--in order to try and show the best of what they've got to attract the other person.

And this is almost a necessary evil.

It's what allows most of us to get over our selves, get past our biases and dumbass preconceptions, and truly get to know the other person on a real level.

It's why people don't act like slobs on first dates, why people don't rip farts in front of one another willinilly, why people don't IMMEDIATELY dump their own baggage and life secrets one one another, because that's all shit that logically should happen AFTER you've gotten to know one another.


Was it crappy of her to lie about it? Sure, but everyone does it to some degree, and you've got to ask how much of it was her putting her trying to put her best foot forward so you wouldn't close-minded slam the door on her and actually give her a shot?

Up to you...

But honestly, you are NOT handling this properly, at all, and are being immature as fuck.

Dropping and refusing communication is pretty much the absolute worst thing you can do for the health of a relationship and is what kids throwing tantrums do, not what grown adults in real relationships do.

Talk to her. Communication is the fucking BACKBONE of a healthy relationship. Regardless of what she did or didn't do, if you can't talk, that means you're being immature as fuck and probably need to reassess yourself as a person and whether you can yet handle being in adult relationships yet.

>>17734991
Not showing negative traits is not the same as lying about them. Especially about something you know they care about. Deceit is not healthy for a relationship.

>>17734991
>adult relationship
>lying
You child

>>17734995
>Not showing negative traits is not the same as lying about them. Especially about something you know they care about. Deceit is not healthy for a relationship.

Agreed. Yes, it was a shitty and childish thing for her to lie about something which he explicitly stated he cared about but looking at it from her point of view:

This was also obviously some part of her own past she wasn't yet comfortable sharing and has her own hangups about.

Expecting someone else to share all their dirty laundry from the get go is unreasonable to the extreme because that kind of trust has to be built up.

Should she have lied about it? Hell no. She fucked up. But she has her own circumstances--just like OP--and she's obviously just as young as OP.

But the only way EITHER of them grow up from this is to talk.


>>17735016
>>adult relationship
>>lying
>You child

Says the guy implying life is black and white...

Part of being an adult is knowing which things to stand hard on, but also which areas to compromise is, and then being able to apply those judgements on a case by case basis.

>>17735101
>compromising on lying in a relationship
Children these days I swear

>>17735101
What growing does OP have to do from the information we've been given? Grow to accept lies as a part of his relationships?

>>17735101
>This was also obviously some part of her own past she wasn't yet comfortable sharing and has her own hangups about.
Because she knew OP wouldn't look favorably on her being a slut.
>Expecting someone else to share all their dirty laundry from the get go is unreasonable to the extreme because that kind of trust has to be built up.
He didn't ask her to share everything. He asked her not to lie
>But she has her own circumstances--just like OP--and she's obviously just as young as OP.
No excuse to be a liar
>But the only way EITHER of them grow up from this is to talk.
>muh middle ground
No OP needs to drop her, She's already lied to him once and only likely to lie again. She's just not good ltr material.
>Says the guy implying life is black and white...
And this part is. She was a slut, and on top of that lied about it. She gets dropped
>Part of being an adult is knowing which things to stand hard on,
And OP's standing hard on the fact that sex is important to him.
>but also which areas to compromise is, and then being able to apply those judgements on a case by case basis.
Someone who knowingly lies about doing something you've given them the chance to come clean about does not deserve to be compromised with

>>17733051

I know the word "projection" is tossed around here a lot but I can assure you that it doesn't mean what you think it means.

Someone pointing out the contradictions in your logic isn't called projection. Yelling "PROJECTION" isn't a one-size-fits all comeback for whenever someone says something you don't like.

Nor can you just shame someone for not having "morals" when this is obviously not a matter of morals but of personal preference. "Morals", again, is also not a one-size-fits all declaration that can be tossed around without considering the inherent ambiguity in it. Its not black and white and trying to paint it as such to avoid having to actually justify your thinking is a real dumdum move.

>>17735226
Theres not a single contradiction made in the post thats a response to. It actually looks like pure projection to me. I wish I could laugh at the person who posted it.

>>17735114

My god its like you're not even reading the responses. "Lying" is not black and white you fucking dildo. EVERYONE uses deception in one form or another to shape other people's opinions of them. EVERYONE is disingenuous at times for the sake of getting someone to like them or easing someone's mind.

EVERYONE compromises on lying, even you. If a little kid with cancer looks me in the eyes and asks if he's going to die I'm not going to say "Yes, yes you are" just to satiate this twisted, simplified view of lying you're trying to spew. I'm going to tell him no because I'm a human being who is able to weigh the pros, cons and implications of my decisions. I'd rather let the kid feel good for another hour than satisfy my need to be completely honest all the time. Its called being an adult.

Lying is more complicated than just saying "no" when the answer is "yes". Its more complicated than just always telling 100% of the truth always in every situation no matter what the context. I think you know its more complicated than that and are just being purposefully stupid so your narrative will fit nicely with your predetermined opinion about this situation.

Trust is built, kid, not unabashedly exposed the moment you start dating someone. Again, I think you know this is true but you're just ignoring it because it doesnt compliment your narrative.

>>17735250
>EVERYONE uses deception in one form or another to shape other people's opinions of them.
Speak for yourself you child. I dont have to lie for people to like me.
>Lying is more complicated than just saying "no" when the answer is "yes
My sides. This is the excuse people give when they lie.

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>>17735241

>Theres not a single contradiction made in the post thats a response to.

I think you're mistaken. This is not a statement compiled from the information of one post but the entirety of the robot ideology. Every last bit of /r9k/ propaganda is one big double standard.

They want virgin girls who have never been with a guy and value intimacy and commitment but they also want to be able to lift and make money and be able to pick up girls to fuck with ease just like Chad.

They want a genuine woman who is dedicated and loving and shares all their hobbies and interests but they also want to judge women, categorize them on a 1-10 scale and manipulate them into being subservient.

They want a girl with a healthy sex drive but they only want that sex drive to come into existence the day she met them.

They want a girl who knows how to be in a healthy relationship but not a girl who has been in a bunch of relationship, so I think the question being asked is what exactly is it that they want?

They want to pretend that their lives are driven by their moral center and emotional intimacy and connection but they also want to be able to be vindictive, controlling, punitive and judgmental and still retain this self-identity of being highly developed moral creatures who are above the rest of the "normies".

Every single one of their tenants is hilariously contradictory. I don't think the post was being based off of just one other post, but more the culmination of all of the robot theology. That's not projection, thats just observing information and forming an opinion about it. Whether or not you agree with it is a whole different issue but has nothing to do with projection.

>>17735287
That post literally projected and made assumptions yet you defend it. Probably you projecting as well. You see only the projectors like you and that anon mention the girl being a virgin. Because you are projecting and trying to make yourself feel better.
Your post is literally making assumptions and projecting. Since that anon isnt here thank you for letting me laugh at you.

>>17735272

>Speak for yourself you child. I dont have to lie for people to like me.

So you've never had a job interview? You've never met a girlfriend's parents? You've never been on a first date? You have never in any way shape or form altered your normal behavior for the sake of making a good impression? You truly are the definition of a robot.

>My sides. This is the excuse people give when they lie.

Ok, I get it, so you're just going to pretend like you don't understand that the intricacy of life can't be boiled down to a simple metric. For the purpose of proving your point, you're going to pretend that nuance doesn't exist. Got it. I'll stop now.

>>17735295
>>17735250
If you want to put honesty on a spectrum, OP's gf's behavior is very far into the black anyways. Your point is totally moot.

>>17732275
>but I think Im angry at the fact that she lied
Bullshit, nigger. You're angry about the fact that she's had a healthy sex life and you didn't.

>>17735295
>So you've never had a job interview?
Why lie here when its just going to come back to haunt you.
>You've never met a girlfriend's parents?
And lie about what?
>You've never been on a first date?
And lie about what?
>You have never in any way shape or form altered your normal behavior for the sake of making a good impression?
I dont pretend to be someone else. The way I act with someone I just met is not to make a good impression. Its to feel them out so that my jokes are more suited towards both of us having fun.
>you're going to pretend that nuance doesn't exist.
Theres no nuance. You are either a liar or you arent. You are trying to excuse the fact that you are a liar and its hilarious.

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>>17735293

>Your post is literally making assumptions and projecting.

I don't think you understand the difference between an assumption and an opinion. Stating an opinion formed by first hand experience is not projection, again, that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

>That post literally projected and made assumptions yet you defend it

The cool thing about opinions is that I don't have to defend them for them to be legitimate. I've been around the robots for a long time and this is my opinion of them and their ideology. My opinions are mine, you can disagree with them if you want.

>You see only the projectors like you and that anon mention the girl being a virgin. Because you are projecting and trying to make yourself feel better.

You're hilarious.

So, using your logic, you just projected right now. You read my post, analyzed the information in the post and then formed the opinion that I'm only saying this to make myself feel better.

You just made an "assumption" about me and my motives based on the opinion you just formed about me. You're doing the exact same thing that you're claiming makes me a "projector".

You do realize that you just managed to contradict yourself in less than 5 sentences, right? Ignorance is bliss, huh?

>>17735313
You assume people are from r9k. Huge assumption right there. That place is way too gay for me. You then make assumptions about people based on the false assumption that they are from r9k. Its all projecting and its hilarious.
>The cool thing about opinions is that I don't have to defend them for them to be legitimate.
Well it just means your opinion is shit. Glad we agree there.

>>17735301

In none of my posts did I ever mention anything about OP's girlfriends behavior. We're talking about the nuance of honesty. If you want to hear my opinions of OP's girlfriend its a completely different conversation.

I don't agree with her behavior at all but like I said, thats not the issue we're discussing at this particular moment.

>>17735312

Its alright man, I see what you're doing. You're just pretending like you don't understand that honesty and deception is on a spectrum, not a fixed line separating the two.

>The way I act with someone I just met is not to make a good impression. Its to feel them out so that my jokes are more suited towards both of us having fun.

So you purposefully cater your behavior so that the both of you can have the most fun as possible. You want them to have fun so they'll form good opinions of you.

That is trying to make a good impression.

That is literally a form of deception.

My point was that not all deception can be categorized into "liar" or "not liar" and not all deception is done with negative intention. Human behavior is more complicated than that and you know that, you're just pretending you don't understand what I'm talking about so you can keep your toddlers understanding of honesty.

>>17735328
>You're just pretending like you don't understand that honesty and deception is on a spectrum
Or Im not a piece of shit like you hoping that if I lie to people they will accept me.
>So you purposefully cater your behavior so that the both of you can have the most fun as possible. You want them to have fun so they'll form good opinions of you.
No you idiot. I dont tell inside jokes to someone I just met because they obviously wont get it. You have to make new inside jokes. Theres nothing deceptive about that you autist. I like having fun with people. And what the entails varies from person to person since everyone is different. How can you be this stupid. Its mind blowing.
>My point was that not all deception can be categorized into "liar" or "not liar"
Fucking liars I swear will try to weasel their way out of being liars and its so pathetic.

>>17735321

>You assume people are from r9k. Huge assumption right there.

I never said anyone was from /r9k/. You don't have to be from /r9k/ to share components of their ideology. I never said you were from /r9k/ either.

>You then make assumptions about people based on the false assumption that they are from r9k.

I made a post concerning my opinions about the robots in general, not random people. Not once did I call out any specific person in this thread and claim they were from /r9k/, so, none of what you're saying has a shred of legitimacy or truth to it. You're losing ground in this argument so now you're just making shit up to save your narrative.

I also like how you didn't even address the fact that you're doing the exact same thing that you're accusing me of.

>Well it just means your opinion is shit. Glad we agree there.

It is well within your rights to think my opinion is shit. I never once said anyone was obligated to accept my opinion as truth nor did I try to decouple people from the validity of their opinions by incorrectly using the word "projection", you know, like you did.

Like for example, if I were to meet you in real life and speak to you for a few minutes and call you a fucking retard, thats not called projection. Thats just called thinking you're a fucking retard.

I might suggest popping over to dictionary.com and giving the definition of "projection" a once over for good measure.

>>17735345
Talking about r9k and why they are wrong when no one is from there or mentions them is the definition of projection.

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>>17735344

Alright, kid, enjoy your idiocy. Talking to you is like trying to reason with a fucking stump. Either you're the world's talented troll or your entire skull is made of aspergers. Either one is an impressive feat.


>>17735365

My god you can't read.

>Talking about r9k and why they are wrong

I never said anyone was wrong. I stated an opinion.

>when no one is from there or mentions them

So now you're trying to say that no one on here frequents /r9k/ or mentions them at all? Look who is making the assumptions now.

>the definition of projection.

I can see from this sentence that you didn't take my advice about dictionary.com

It really is a shame.

>>17735398
>Anyone whos not a piece of shit liar like me is a troll
So damn pathetic man. It was funny at first buy your life must be really empty.

>>17733779
Well you write like a nigger so who cares what you think lmaoing at ur life.