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Hey /adv/ long time browser and poster, first time actually making a thread.
So my brother used to abuse me a great deal as a child, beat me and all that. I don't think it was terribly abnormal or anything that didn't happen among other siblings (or so I assume) but anyway - the worst part for me is when he'd force me to stay in a room with him. I'd call out for my mum and try to run but he'd block the door and hurt me, force me to stay there for hours
So now we're in our 20s and our relationship is fine. In fact him and my other brother are the closest people to me in my life.
Anyway last night I overheard him in another room. He was playing a video game and raging over it - and I began to feel really unsettled, and out of breath. Eventually he stopped and that was it.
But just today he was getting angry over it again and hitting shit and it must have struck a nerve. Because I had a huge panic attack and broke down in tears crying and trembling. I'm literally too terrified to leave my room.
Advice? I've always been quite anxious growing up but never this bad. I'm honestly too scared to talk to him about it, is there an alternative?
Every time I think about my childhood now it makes me panic and choke up. Especially about being trapped in that room.
He never did anything sexual, fyi
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>>17730833
>therapy
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>>17730833
>I don't think it was terribly abnormal or anything
It is very abnormal and disturbing behavior, actually. Not normal at all. Did your parents not know? What was their reaction?
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>>17730839
Is it expensive? I'm broke as fuck, also in what way would therapy help? Not knocking therapy, I'm just curious.
>>17730843
While I'm at it, my Dad is very much "You're spoiled and have it so well, so you don't deserve to be sad".
I broke down in tears to him last year about my alcohol problems and he practically told me to fuck off kek
Mum's always kind of coddled us. Probably has something to do with it.
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>>17730851
Identifying and getting over childhood traumas that negatively impact your life today are something therapy can do well. If you have health insurance and a job or some parental support then you should be able to afford weekly sessions. On my California Obamacare I pay 45 a sessions but it all depends
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>>17730851
Also if you need to explain to your dad why you want to go to therapy try and explain specific things, like panic attacks throwing you back into childhood trauma with your brother when you hear him get angry
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>>17730858
Yeah thanks. Going to him first might actually be the best option.
>>17730854
I don' t get parental support but I think my Dad might be open to it. My mother and step Dad aren't doing too great financially.
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The worst part for me was they just kept leaving me alone with him. I'd tell them he's just going to hurt me but they always told me to bear with it. I thought I was done with this shit god damn it.
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