I love her so much but it all feels so hopeless. We never hung

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I love her so much but it all feels so hopeless. We never hung out just the two of us, but we were friends and we used to see each other a lot. She was the only girl I could talk to and not sperg out too badly. But now she's into different things and I barely see her anymore. I used to maybe be too obsessed with her. I used to save pictures from her Instagram to my computer so I could look at her whenever I wanted. I never jerked off to them, I just wanted to look at her face and think of what an amazing person she is. Recently she went to a dance (I'm not underage, she's a little younger than me) and she posted pictures of her in her dress. She looked so beautiful it hurt. It hurt that she was enjoying life without me. I listened to the song "Pictures of You" by The Cure while I stared. I'm still unable to bring myself to listen to the Disintegration album.

I ended up deleting my folder because I realized it can't be healthy, but now I sort of wish I hadn't because of how little I see her now. I don't even need to marry her anymore. I was want to be her friend. She used to call me "buddy", and looking back, that meant more to me than anything anyone else has ever said to me. It would be a privilege to be friend zoned by her, but I just want to see her again.

Help?