>girlfriend regularly expresses fear that I'd want her

>>17722440
Shes a retard. Dump her now.

>>17722440
Respond back "that's right, you can't do it cause your a girl. I forgot women suck at ____"

>>17722440
Ask her why you should fill your gender roles but she shouldn't have to fill hers.
I personally think gender roles are shit, but they work just fine for some people. Just make sure you're both on the same page.

>>17722452
Thisthisthis kek

>>17722440
Sounds like a shit girl. Gender roles exist for a reason and that reason is because each sex happens to be better at certain things more than the other naturally.

There are of course exceptions but you don't abolish a rule based on a few exceptions.

That's not even taking into account her hypocritical bullshit. Let her go anon. I don't care how much of a kissless virgin you are. There will always be other girls.

>>17722531
Kys

>>17722440
Tell her to suck it up and do >>17722452

I hate when chicks do this shit.

She's just using this language to feel better about being a lazy parasite. "I just don't feel like cooking/cleaning" doesn't sound like an intelligent philosophical rebel.

The bad news is once this sickness takes hold she'll probably never recover, might have to break it off.

>>17722440
Modern female problems, OP

Wants you to sort all her shit and take responsibility for her but will not bare your seed, raise your family and keep your home.

This is bullshit. But unfortunately, if she has children she will wake up to the harsh reality that she has tits and the baby want titty-milk.

Tell her that you want your children to be exclusively breastfed cos it's natural and the most superior way of raising your child. She will soon reconsider her opinions and start cooking you a nice meal or realise that this fate ultimately awaits her

This sounds pretty familiar with a couple of my buddies. Their wives don't feel that it's their job to do simple chores like cleaning the bathroom or washing dishes let alone placing them from the sink to the dishwasher. And in their case, neither does the guy. Can talk about sports all day but tell him to clean the toilet and he's fucking useless. They would rather pay a cleaning service hundreds a month than so simple shit themselves. Then complain they have no extra cash.

What's the deal?

>>17722697
My then girlfriend hit me one morning with if you want kids then we should stop seeing one another, right as I'm about to leave for work.

Tell her we'all talk about it when I get out of work. Let her say the same statement and I said fine, let's break up because I want kids and I walked out

Then she said while sobbing that we can work it out and she'll change her mind. I wasn't going to wait around for that so yeah

>>17722713
Optimum action
Optimum outcome

OP, you sound like a chill guy with good sense. I'm sure you'll work this shit out.

>>17722703
Adult baby syndrome. Has nothing to do with gender, but robots like to think so. Mature human beings can talk things out and share chores 50/50 but these people refuse do to anything because it 'magically' happened back home so why should they do any different as adults?

>>17722713
What a cunt. She's playing mind games with you bro. Who says that sort of thing out of the blue right before you leave? That's something that requires a long discussion no matter what. She obviously cared more about your reaction than having kids seeing how she was so quick to change her mind.

Imo just drop her (easier said than done though right?).

>>17722440
Hypocrisy at its finest. If she identifies as a feminist, this is just par for the course. I bet she thinks women get paid 75% as much as guys for doing the exact same job, despite that statistic being debunked.

You can either learn to live with hypocrisy, or call her out on it. If you do the latter, prepare for backlash.

OP here

She's pretty anti feminist. It's not that she doesn't want to cook or clean, she's afraid I'd always expect her to. Or more or less feel that it's her job alone to do that stuff

>>17722732
I ended it already for cumulative reasons. First was that. Then talked it over and said hey why don't we just date right now instead of planning the next 20 years. Few weeks later one other girl in her group breaks up "x just broke up with y, do you see a future with me??" right as I'm nodding off on the couch. Like really? Who fucking cares if they broke up, it's us whose dating, which puts her in a sour mood the rest of the night. Then another drama oriented friend started sticking her nose in our business. Said no thanks

>>17722768
Well, at least you have a chance. If you're willing to split the chores between you two, then sometimes that means one person does one set of chores in exchange for the other person doing the other set, because they are both approximately equivalent in effort and importance. Other times, it means splitting doing one chore 50/50. But let her know that she can't have it both ways; she can't expect you to fill gender roles while she ignores hers. However, you need to keep in mind that frankly, despite what they might say, most women see men doing "things that men do" as attractive in some way.

I'm working off of like, 4 hours of sleep. So what I'm saying might sound a little ranty or not even make sense, so I apologize for that.

>>17722768
Sit down and talk to her. Set up all the house chores and responsibilities and put it at 50/50. One day you make dinner, the other her. The day you cook she does the dishes, and when she cooks you do them. And so on. The same with any 'male' chores. If she complains use the gender equality card. There's literally nothing she can't do of those chores unless you're a powerlifter and flips the car with your hands to change tires.

>>17722768
My last gf has this same fear. I explained to her that if she worked, I would do some of the chores with her but if she didn't, I expected her to do all the housework and either way I expected her to cook because I'm shit at it and I like to eat good good.

She thought that was fair but still wasn't psyched about it. Drop her OP. Someone who has this fear doesn't really love you. If they did, how much work they'd have to do wouldn't be at the forefront of her mind unless you gave her reason to believe she was going to get a very bad deal which you've presented no evidence for so far.

3 years from now she'll claim her work is harder than yours and you should do more of the chores or she'll start slacking on her share.

She does it because she's a hypocrite. No back-handed passive aggressive shit or mind games, just give it to her straight.

>wow, so you don't want me to hold you to gender roles and you supposedly like me because I'm not a stereotypical man, but if it suits you I have to act according to the stereotype anyway?

If you're lucky she realizes (before or after knee jerk defensive anger) that you're right and shapes up/adjusts her expectations. If you're unlucky you're going to find out that she's quite immature.

>>17722440
>girlfriend regularly expresses fear that I'd want her to fulfill her gender roles

I would drop her because I want a woman in my life, not a genderqueer snowflake.

>>17722531
This, it doesn't mean that you two have to be walking stereotypes like >>17722583 seems to think, but it does mean that you don't get to magically be a man or a woman whenever you want to. If you think this way, you are a genderqueer snowflake who will only ever be able to date your kin.

Side note: cooking and cleaning are hardly gender-exclusive, but being a mother is.

Finally

There is a difference between women you date and the woman you have kids with. Think long and hard about it.

>>17722834
>There is a difference between women you date and the woman you have kids with

Too true

>>17722834
>>17722845
You're not OP and he described himself as not matching stereotypical masculine stuff that precisely, either. For all we know he doesn't even want kids.

>>17722834
>cooking and cleaning are hardly gender-exclusive, but being a mother is.
So is being a father. The only thing that has to come from the mother is milk and that can be pumped. Don't fall for the 'women are magic babywhisperers' meme. Fathers can do just as much for kids as mothers do.

>>17722440
So she doesnt want to do chores and housework because of the patriarchy meme but wants you to 'act like a man' when its inconvenient for you.
She just seems lazy and the kind of person who will find any excuse to not do the things she doesnt want to do and get you to do them

>>17722834
>There is a difference between women you date and the woman you have kids with.
TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTH

/adv/ hitting you with the hard facts of life

>>17722866
Agree for the most part, but don't forget that for the first nine months of the baby's existence, their mother is literally their entire environment. Her voice, the sounds of her body etc are all they know. Newborn infants cannot even be apart from their mother for more than a couple of hours (which in itself is already not advisable).

I mean, obviously that says nothing about how later relationships play out and bearing a kid doesn't necessarily mean you're a good mother. But I see many people going with the idea that the baby is born as a blank slate and only the nursing makes the difference between mom and dad, which is entirely untrue.

>>17722443
1st post best post

>>17722583
Kys

>>17722440
Then dont do your gender role of being the protector and provider. Dont sacrifice yourself if she gets into danger and never pay for anything.

>>17722440
Its literally her just shifting perceived responsibility off herself. Dump her ass and kick her out.

>>17722889
Actually not. Brain patterns on infants show that they recognizes the voices of people who was near the womb during pregnancy and will recognize music, and intonations from pregnancy regardless of who's pregnant with them. Even though they get a lot through the mother's system, it's not closed off from other people's influence.

>>17722910
I didn't say it was closed off, but being literally 24/7 enveloped in another human being is hardly comparable to having heard someone's voice at times throughout the pregnancy.

>>17722910
>>17722920
Realize it did sound like I was implying nothing else got through, I was more getting at the mother being a full world to them as opposed to some passive vessel that most adults tend to see it as because they knows what happens and how little the mother is physically aware of the fetus compared to the other way around.

>>17722768
Who ever brings less of the income home should be doing most of the chores.

>>17722985
This is stupid, if you both work forty hours a week one partner might bring in more cash but that doesn't mean the other one worked less hard and/or has more energy left. In fact many high earning jobs can be less taxing than low wage jobs.

And good luck telling your partner that their work hours count less because they earn less...

File: bad.jpg (122KB, 677x720px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 677x720px

>praises me for not being an "average guy" and generally likes that I'm not the stereotypical guy (unemotional, insensitive, harsh, etc)

Bad news brah

>>17722985
I make a lot more money than my partner but he works twice as much (and manual labour). Should he do the chores?

>>17722990
Then all the bills need to be slipt 50/50 then. You cant have the higher income person paying for everthing and doing all of the chores.

>>17722991
>this meme again

Women prefer a douchebag over a spineless doormat. That doesn't mean they prefer a douchebag over a guy who is confident enough in himself to respect his needs and boundaries but also treats her well and with sensitivity.

>>17723004
What about splitting bills percentage-wise so you contribute equally relatively speaking?

Also, usually couples can bargain not just based on who does how much but also who does the chores that the other one hates to do etc.

>>17723010
This is exactly what my wife & I do
It works out fine for us

>>17722440

Double standards. Women are the queen of it because society made them so.

>>17723000
Yes that guy probably gets to go on vacations because of you.

>>17723024
Not her but isn't the whole idea of being partners that you want to share and enjoy your combined options in life, not hold your advantage over your loved one's head?

>>17723056
This