Is it selfish to jump in front of a train? I'm turning

>>17720300
>Is it selfish to jump in front of a train?
Yes. Sorry. It's incredibly selfish.

I really doubt you have literally zero people in your life who'll give a shit if you kill yourself. So you have to try to make your life bearable. There are people who can help with that, of course; you don't have to do it alone.

>>17720300
>>17720300
If you thought the world hated you before - jumping in front of a train is probably a poor way to go.

Want to talk about it some, Anon? I haven't had friends since junior high, I know what it's like to have no one.

>>17720320
There are 3, maybe 4 people that would notice I'm dead.

If this country had guns, I would go out to a woods or something and hit the off switch. But that too, is not an option. People will care for all of 10 minutes when I'm dead, if that, my fear is leaving some random person with emotional scars.

Yes. I'm a train driver and I'm tired of you fucking morons

There is so much paperwork involved

>>17720325
Why is it a poor way to go? I'm not finding many other options.

>>17720343
Is annoyed really the worst thing? I think I can deal with that.

>>17720358
You will cause inconvenience/probable mental scarring for everyone on that train, namely. And considering that you were concerned about being selfish...

>>17720343
being trains man is hard !

>>17720330
can't you just go out into the woods and die there? just go out there, get hopelessly lost, starve to death.

>>17720382
Chugging drain killer/over the counter meds also is promising.

>>17720358
>I'm not finding many other options.

You could electrocute yourself or consume rat poison. Why do you have choose to be an asshole inconveniencing other people?

>>17720365
Every time I've tried to end things, I wake up, with the weird and eerie memory like it actually happened. Maybe this will be the same. I just want this to end, and there doesn't seem to be a way to do it without being indescribably selfish.

Pills/exsanguination, someone has to find the body. Not only that, they have high failure rates.

Hanging, good success rate, but again there's nowhere I could hang without someone stumbling upon the body.

Jumping, there's nowhere tall enough, and where there are high buildings, someone will find the body. Same goes for trains.

Asphyxiation, I have no car, and no garage. But again, someone would have to find the body.

There are no guns here, if there were, I could just go to the middle of nowhere and pop.

I'm not worried about the distress over my death, I'm worried about the distress of finding the body. As I said people will care for all of 10 minutes, I'm not a good person, known person, or remotely valuable person. But that doesn't mean I have the right to destroy some random bastard's day and mental health. I really don't want to do that. I really don't. But my options are waning.

>>17720300
It always is. Someone has to do the cleanup. Someone has to mourn. Someone has to do the paperwork.
Someone has to report the missing person.

But it's not about them. It's about you. If you don't feel ready, be sure to get as many opinions as you can. Online, professionals, forums... you should talk to them some, gain some insight and then decide if you -really- want this.
Remember, there's no going back.

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>>17720399
I'll tell you what someone told me when I last tried - you can wait and see if it gets better, because maybe things will pick up, or you can just speed the process along and top yourself.

Things are okay for me now. Not great, but after a few months I don't want to die anymore.

Do what you want, Anon.

>>17720389
Drain cleaner is made retard proof these days. I'll just end violently ill. Over the counter meds? What am I gonna do, OD on paracetamol or antihistamines? That doesn't seem like a good move.

>>17720396
I'm in the UK. We have an earth pin. It's actually surprisingly hard to electrocute yourself properly here. Rat poison could work I guess.

>>17720404
I've been dead for years. My situation isn't gonna get better. It's not gonna make a big turn around. It just needs to stop.

>>17720426
Well shit, anon, where abouts in the UK are you? I'm NI.

Also there goes my plan B. So much for the drain cleaner. Though I'm pretty sure that the industrial stuff would fucking destroy your stomach and you'd bleed out internally.

>>17720399
jesus. op you are one hungry attention whore. most of what you stated is hypocritical and lazy. go buy a bus ticket to a city with a bridge, so hurry up and stop wasting our time.

>>17720434
South. And yeah, the industrial shit might but good luck getting it. Stuff sent to hotels etc. can't contain bleach thanks to COSHH. I'm right on the fucking beach, in the middle. If I were in Cornwall I could leap off of a cliff and end up in the sea. If I were further east I could take a trip to Beachy Head.

But I can't.

>>17720451
This.

OP if you're really gonna do it, I have shit to do, so just livestream it from your phone, kay?

>>17720454
Not as hard as you'd think, actually. You could get it online.

>>17720451
>>17720456
Well, this is some clarity. Wish me luck to take that step tomorrow.

>>17720300
To what extent must you act towards getting back on track until life is considered "acceptable"? Is this judgement of your own volition or the result of others pressing your own failures against you?

I only ask because you appear ashamed of something...
It's good that you've tasted the sweet-horror of a truly fucked up life, so make sure to remember the taste if you ever find something worth living for. It can serve as good motivation while you claw your way back towards living.

The reason I said "claw" is because almost nobody is promised or deserved a fun/easy life on this shithole planet, so stop pitying yourself and set some fucking goals already.

I mean, this motherfucker can't even afford to kill himself....

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Not OP by question

How would all of you feel about a guy thinking about offing himself over being a virgin, and everything he tries to make it stop either fails or seems like it will take some massive undetermined amount of time to work

I'm not thinking about it but I know there are guys who do, and even guys who have done it
Plus I am a virgin


Also why is it that when guys complain about being virgins you just mock them, call them autists and losers and entitled etc all, but when they start to think about death and not in the edgy attention whore Lincoln park way but in the actual, they don't tell literally anyone or anything and it just goes through their minds

then you get all sympathetic and shit
it seems pretty two faced

>>17721686
I can't speak for the apparent /adv/ hivemind you're addressing, but I can speak for myself.
>what would you think about a guy considering offing himself for being a virgin

I would think his priorities are deeply and unfortunately skewed, but it's not entirely his fault that they are. Society is highly judgemental of virgin men, and all but the most independent souls are going to get upset by that sooner or later.

Also if you're literally only concerned about never having sex, hookers are a thing and still fairly common. I get the feeling that's not what you're actually looking for though, and I understand.

>why is it that when guys complain about being virgins you mock them

Because the ones here are almost always bitter /r9k/ anons unwilling to accept advice and change their lifestyle, and have internalized shitty/unrealistic views about women, relationships, and sex that make them come off as assholes and probably contribute heavily to why they can't connect with women.

>but when they think about killing themselves you get sympathetic

Because most people here would agree that human life is valuable. Even the lives of humans who aren't always the most pleasant to be around (ie the ones described above)

And because most people here have been in that situation and understand how it feels. But the fact that we're still alive means that something or someone convinced us that living is worthwhile, so we're paying the favor forward by trying to keep other Anons alive.

I'm sorry you're lonely and things aren't working Anon. Just keep trying. I know it sucks.

t. male, not virgin but have only had sex with one girl and the last time was over two years ago and all attempts at relationships recently have failed

>>17720454
Od on meds until you pass out. Make sure to be in the sea so you can drown.

You can buy caffeine pills over the counter from any pharmacy and you can od on 800mg (but if you were trying to die I'd take the whole fucking box)

OP if you really want to kill yourself then it doesn't matter how, as long as it's relatively quick (trying to overdoese on otc meds and slowly dying of organ failure is not a good way to go). Whatever you do, you won't have the capacity to feel remorse for burdening someone with your corpse because you will be DEAD. In fact, you won't feel anything ever again.

>>17720426
murder some fucking mudslimes then, then get killed by one
that'll be a net benefit and you'll be more acknowledged then ever before in your life

Being alive is just a temporary thing, just try to make the most of it. You are only 23, you could be a completely different person in time, maybe try and think about you ended up with this mental state. there must be things going on in your life that are causing you to have this way of thinking. again your only 23 so atleast try to make a change before you give up.

>>17720300
Helium asphyxiation you dumb cunt. Painless, quick, easy to clean up.

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What an amazingly well written post.

You have great writer/editor/linguistic potential.

Please, tell me something about your life. I don't care who you are or what you do or anything whatsover, I just want to read from you: the way you developed your story was almost espectacular.

We may have another Kafka here. Keep writing you, young person.

Yes, train engineers don't need to deal with that.
However, if you're serious about it, you wouldn't care. So just don't.

>>17721747
You're fucking with me right?

>>17721736
Didn't they ban selling exit bags? I wouldn't know how to make one myself.

>>17721716
It's not about feeling remorse, right now I am suffering, but that doesn't mean I want the end of my suffering to be the start of someone else's.

>>17721712
You can OD on that little caffeine?

>>17721605
>so stop pitying yourself and set some fucking goals already
You're talking like killing myself is plan A. Give me a little credit. The friends I had in HS cut me off for being a fag, so I went back to college and worked hard to get myself back on track, but in recent years I've been too sick. My social circle I spent years building up vanished around me this year, I am constantly tired and unable to perform in society, nevermind spending that energy on building friendships and doing fun things.

It is absolutely crippling when you're trying to find your feet, but your health prohibits it, and then everyone around you walks away - again. I'm being pressured for money I don't have the strength to earn, failed by a medical system that cares more about quotas than people, and I don't even have the benefit of looking back to nostalgia to tell myself things can change and get better.

>>17720399

You're either bullshitting about all of this or you're an attention seeker. You're coming up with stupid excuses that someone who really wanted to go through with this wouldn't think about.

If you're worried about someone finding the body then why do it in front of a train where a LOT of people have to suffer at your expense. Why choose a lot of people over 1 finding your body somewhere? Not to mention with trains you not only scar a lot of people, you also fuck their day up, probably cause a massive back up in the trains schedule and affect a lot of people that way, it's a dick move.

I don't believe you truly want to go through with it otherwise you wouldn't be making up these vague excuses for each scenario, so either you need to go seek help because you clearly don't want to actually die or you're a troll.

>>17721686

I can tell you now as someone who lost their virginity pretty late according to social standards (21) the hurt you feel from losing your first love is so much worse then anything to do with your virginity. Sex means nothing in the long run, once you have it you don't feel different, you might have a small confidence boost but that wares off after you realise it's just another thing you've experienced now that the majority of adults have too.

>>17721810
Vague excuses? The tallest multistory here is 5 stories, no bridges, no high rise buildings.

Cutting wrists does have a high failure rate, as do pill ODs, not that I have anything except maybe caffeine that'd work.

Hanging isn't all too viable either, there are no woodlands around here, it's all parks and stuff. I would rather hang than jump in front of a train anyway.

I seem to lack the luxury of choice,

>>17721810
I don't want attention. I did t even want them to know why I was in the hospital. I tried to get help I kept it to myself the best way I could. I'm over that, I don't want this anymore. I'm not dangerous no one cares or is afraid. I'm staying away because I can't handle friendships I got problems I haven't dealt with yet and until I do, I will continue to isolate myself as much as possible. I realize I'm the problem, I tried to fix it but as I was seeking treatment I stopped because I felt something wasn't right. So now I work to get the help I need out of my own pocket and not a community program

>>17721821

5 stories is plenty to land on your head and die instantly. Can cut one of your arteries in a bath and bleed out. You can literally hang from anything that can support your weight, saying there's no woodlands nearby is like saying you can't go fishing because you don't own a boat. I haven't researched it but i'm sure there is plenty of other ways to do it that doesn't require much in the way of planning and can be done in a discrete location.

I'm not trying to egg you on to do it if that really is your intention but to me it really looks like you don't want to do it.

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>>17721698
>Because the ones here are almost always bitter /r9k/ anons unwilling to accept advice and change their lifestyle, and have internalized shitty/unrealistic views about women, relationships, and sex that make them come off as assholes and probably contribute heavily to why they can't connect with women.

Well I was one of the exceptions, I've done a total overhaul, I don't feel like typing it all out just see here

>>17721245

Also here

>>17721171

Yeah its been weighing on my mind especially hard today, its because I came pretty close to getting with a girl saturday night but it didn't pan out

>>17721851
Right I have absolutely no anchor points in my house, absolutely none. I have trees in my garden but there's a risk someone will spot me doing it from the houses around me and phone it in. Bleeding out really does have a high level of failure. 5 stories is also a height that's perfectly survivable if something breaks your fall or you don't land on your head.

I do not want to end up on the happy farm with an even more fucked body than the one I have.

The reason you feel this way is because society tells us messages of what we should be or who we should be, in order to be "valued" and being valued makes one feel happy.

It could also be that a chemical brain imbalanace leads to negative thoughts. Allowing intrustive negative thoughts to have free reign is a recipe for disaster.

You have to allow thought to rise and disappear without giving them too much credit. Many 23 year olds are spending christmas alone. You are not special, and that should be the kick in the ass you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not alone in what's going on in your life, but you are going the opposite direction with it.

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>>17720358
Train is the literal most selfish way to suicide, worse than jumping off a public building in the middle of city. You entirely halt and back up the train system all day while they clean up your body/deal with people on the train/etc.

I hope you find a reason to keep living anon.

Take an Uber to a waterfall or something, I met a train operator at a bar that told me this shit happens annually to him and they pull him from work and send him to counseling and in general unsettled his peace of mind. Don't put this shit on another person.

>>17720300
Such events are so traumatic for train drivers that psychological counseling afterward is mandatory before they're allowed to drive again.

The same would be true of jumping in front of a moving truck, or suicide-by-cop, or any other involvement of another.

If you really want to kill yourself, have the decency not to involve others.

>>17721932
>Such events are so traumatic for train drivers that psychological counseling afterward is mandatory before they're allowed to drive again.


I really doubt this. I once hit a dog and had a real touigh time getting over it, but its just not possible to go on living after every time you accidentally kill something.

Think about all the insects you kill unintentionally every day.

Think about the rats and mice and insects you purposely kill because they're pests.

Think about the animals that suffer for the pleasure of eating their meat.

If you get bogged down every time a living thing dies, you're never gonna make it in this world.

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I was serious.

I want to read more from you, I believe you have potential.

Your story left me very intrigued, and as you can see, you moved the nerve and heart of several people around here.

Is not my duty to tell you what to do, either with your situation or anything else, but if it's worth something, it looks like you are educated enough to know how to start, develop and finish a good story, and that is a quality most people don't have (most people can't explain themselves when speaking, let alone when writing, but the second one you did like a charm).

If you allow me to give you any advice, I'll tell you to keep writing. You are good, seriously.

If you are so non-selfish then why just not sacrifice your life for some sake. Like going to Syria fighting against ISIS or volunteering in some 3rd world shithole.

If you're so worried about being selfish then be a man and pay someone to kill you e clean everything afterwards.
>"but I don't have any money"
Then don't do it and just stop posting.

> Is it selfish to jump in front of a train?
Yes. You traumatise the train driver and all people on that train. Not to mention all the costs and delays it would cause while they clean up your body. Train jumping is one of the most selfish ways to go and also one of the most painful if you don't die upon impact.

And if you're unlucky enough to live in a shit country like me, your relatives will be forced to pay for all costs involved, which can lead up to tens of thousands of euros. Add your funeral costs to that and you'll financially break your family.

>>17720300
>Is it selfish to jump in front of a train?
Yes, very, very selfish.
You fuck up the train driver who sees everything and can't stop it.
You fuck up the passengers who see you getting splattered (there's a lot of chunks flying everywhere and sticking to the windows).
You fuck up the train services because everything gets held up while you are cleaned from the carriages, passing trains are held up too because of staff on the tracks.
The police or volunteers tend to get called in to walk up and down the tracks picking up bits of you which isn't great for them or a good use of their time.
Oh, and you fuck up your loved ones, but you probably realise that already.

A lot of people who witness/find suicides tend to get depressed themselves and attempt suicide because they can't cope with it.

If you are really depressed, consider seeing if you can get sectioned.
Failing that, consider hanging yourself, but before you do that, call emergency services and say you found your housemate/whatever killed themselves, tell them you can't bring yourself to cut them down or something and ask them to hang up so you don't hold up the line, that way someone qualified will be informed and can get to you knowing what to expect, they will have the experience and support to help your loved ones, it's better than your mother finding you with a purple face and your eyes bulging out.

>>17723293
>>17721925


That actually sounds like this is in favor of the train jump, knowing you'll leave an impact.

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I command the spirit of suicide, the spirit of grief and sorrow and the spirit of discouragement to leave, right now, in Jesus' name.

Hey OP, I was suicidal for 9~ years. Let me tell you it gets very scary as you get closer. When you are standing there ready to jump, it's terrifying. What's worse is after a while that fear starts to clear away, and you stop caring about yourself, your family, and the people around you.

Right now it seems like you might still be facing that fear. Seek help. When it gets to the point that you have no emotion facing death is when you're closest. Don't get to that point. It's not cool, it's not admirable.

>>17723454
Lol!

>>17724208
Edgelord fedora detected

This thread made me think of a nice, potentially unobtrusive methos to go: a bunch of sleeping pills + starting somewhere people don't normally go and swimming as far as possible from the shore. Ideally would include a way to sink after the swim.