>get really close with her >get comfortable, open up, she

Of course they are, OP. Nobody is so trustful.

>>17717776
Why dont people cross the street without looking both ways? Are they scared?

>>17717782
But can't they rationalize and accept that people treated them like shit because they were young and naive? Why would they become closed when that's not the cause of what hut them? This destroys their ability to form meaningful relationships for life.

>>17717787
Why don't they cross the road even if they know there are no vehicles?

>>17717802
How can we see if our eyes arnt real?

>>1771779
Not exactly. Sometimes the "trauma" emerge in adulthood...but yeah, there is still a chance of being a results of naivety. It really depends on what happened and (most important) how it affected the person, which is quite subjective.
And above the trauma, they still a social being, so they have this need to find someone to share their thoughts, have a small chitchat etc.
Nevertheless, if they insist on maintaining contact, probably they trust (in their way) and can reach a higher lever of intimacy later on. It usually takes more time than regular people would.

>>17717826
>Sometimes the "trauma" emerge in adulthood.
Please explain?

>what happened and (most important) how it affected the person
It started as a normal romantic relationship, innocent and true and after sometime the other person gradually lost interest. She didn't completely end things but was distant. She got close to another person and now the first person comes back and treats her like shit for even getting close to the other person. Makes her guilty, blames her for things and makes her tear up every night. She tries to keep everything up by doing everything and the other person finally leaves her anyway.

Things to consider are:
He was never completely open to her
She put way too much effort into the relationship
It was short, she was young and naive and he knew what he was doing

It's about rationalizing and accepting that not all people are good. They will treat you like shit especially after realizing you are vulnerable. This is not difficult to do when things happen when you are young (I guess).

I was in a close romantic relationship so it's not like I don't understand things. But I have moved on by accepting that circumstances fuck up relationships. I'm not expecting her to be like me, but for some reason, I really want to help her. She is a good person and I don't see them much in life.

As a girl who took a long time to open up to her partner, just be patient. Encourage her to open up, but don't push her. Slowly she'll realize she can trust you, and will feel safe enough to open up more and more.

>>17717901
How defensive were you at the beginning of the relationship?

>>17717776

How long have you been with her mate?

>>17718436
I wasn't defensive is in arguing, but I was distant. I didn't talk openly, I wasn't comfortable with touching or being touched. I wouldn't ever be honest about when something was wrong because I didn't want to "be a burden".

I'd slowly been getting better, but I still wasn't at a really good point yet. But my boyfriend made me want to learn how to improve. He was patient with me and let me open up at my own pace. He didn't make me feel obligated to do it, and that made it so I -wanted- to do it. And I think that want is key. If she wants to change, then she'll put in the effort to. If she doesn't want to change, then she's not.

>>17717776
>get close to her, she gets close to me
>she opens up to me one night
>I tell her some things but never completely open up
>she opens up completely, tells me everything she's been through, the abuse and whatnot
>cries on my shoulder for a whole night
>realizes she doesn't really need me anymore, as she can face her demons herself
>we break up a week later

Why don't I just end this charade called a love life? Fucking hell man, you just never win. I swear to god if I have to be someone's emotional tampon one more time I may just do something that I'll regret later.