People of /adv/, please help me. So, I am in a relationship

Go to a different doctor? Did they actually look in your vagina like with an ultrasound or something? Also do you get wet? Going to a therapist might help. There are people that specialize in those issues.

>>17712619
I asked my regular doctor to sign me up for a proper psychologist, but I have to go to a hearing about it first, so we'll see after that. I went to a different gyno who looked at me with ultrasound, but could find nothing wrong. I don't know if I get wet because I have an extreme amount of discharge, so I am always "wet" anyways.

Vaginismus
It leads to a psychological aversion to sex
Your body reacts sexually, but when the situation arises your mind starts to panic and this message then goes to your body.
You tense up, get pain and then this reinforcees the response of pain=fear=tense=pain

It doesn't have to be from a single event like rape, can develop over years of this sort of reinforcement.

It's treatable, but is difficult.

>>17712805
I am a little scared to bring this up to my doctor, he has not been very understand of other things. Do you know if you can go to like a speciality center for this?

>we probably haven't had sex in months
Oh jesus christ. Why even enter into a relationship? Men married to women like you is the reason why cheating is so widespread.

I'm also not surprised that you've dragged your feet on actually solving your major fucking relationship problem. Are you really only in a relationship because you're afraid of being alone? Is that all it is to you?

>>17712586
Aww honey ive had to deal with this too.

First off, take penetrative sex off the table for a while. Having painful sex is damaging your entire sexuality and making it harder for you to feel desire. Dont "take one for the team," it will just damage your overall relationship. From what you said about "pulsing" it honetly sounds like you have a normal female sexuality, but you associate sex eith pain and get scared when it starts to happen. You need to break that association.

Buy a dilator set. I recommend Dr Laura Berman's design because it has a vibrator! Starting with the smallest size, try every day to have at least one orgasm while the dilator is inside you. (Im assuming you know how to get off, if not this will be much harder) If you get uncomfortable take it out, dont push yourself. Move on to the larger sizes over the weeks as you get used to it. Dont hurt yourself, the whole point of this is to learn to experience pleasure while being penetrated. Pleasure relaxes the vagina, fear tenses the vagina (so ironically, your very reasonable fear of pain, is making you hurt worse). This process took me a few months.

In your sex life with your boyfriend, focus on making each other come and not losing your sexual connection. But do not fuck until you can comfortably take a dilator his size!

You will probably have to ge a slightky selfish lover when youre ready to fuck again. You or him might have to play with your clit while fucking, in order to keeo you turned on and relaxed, instead of tense.

These are the things that worked for me. If you want more info on tbis problem look up "vaginismus." Also you might consider reafing Emily Nagoski's expanations of sex.

>>17712840
I have never been able to get off before (I've never had an orgasm) and I get no good feeling out of playing with myself, even with toys.

I'm gonna look up a bunch of the stuff you said though, seems like sound advice.