i can't fucking handle this i'm so confused. been diagnosed

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i can't fucking handle this i'm so confused. been diagnosed with anxiety disorder get super bad panic attacks i have a lot to be happy for in my life yet this is happening. hate all these pills they give me. klonopin helps a lot but how bad is that stuff for you ?
>parents are good but mom had anxiety at my age dads prob bipolar but super alcoholic pothead and no real job and mom works her ass off comes home and just yells and complains
> my dads brother (my uncle) melested me when i was 13 harassed me verbally till i told my parents about it at 18
> never got counseling and he still sits out of jail, should be even go to jail ?
>went through a breakup at the same time, bad relationship he treated me like shit.
> worked a lot got over it pushed things under rug
> meet a guy in class who is everything, attractive kind and patient , i somehow became lucky enough to call him my boyfriend.
>been with him for a little over a year now i love him he's everything i could dream of, but these fucking panic attacks the last month
>couldn't work or go to school my parents are fucking yelling at me through all of this so unconcerned and my head aches so bad so i think something is wrong with my physical health not just mental.still don't know dr said to get an mri but parents think that's fucking ridiclious.
>keep thinking about the past and my past shitty relationship like thinking i love him even though it's been years since i talked to him and he treated me like shit he sort of made me come out to my parents about my uncle who didn't really do much about it they don't know what to do i guess.
> i have the guy of my dreams right now but in my dreams i keep seeing this fucked up guy from my past and i don't know what to ducking do
>texted the douche for th first time in years, just saying hi what's up and he was super hostile not long convo, just a " hey i don't have time for this" i never even said anything more than hi what's up .