My gf has borderline personality disorder. I love her very much

>>17709640

>What do I do?

Break up. In the future, try not to date psychotic cheaters.

Realize personality disorders are a spook. That is to say, they have no neurological basis, and are a collection of behaviors. They don't exist.

Oh, she was diagnosed officially? Doesn't matter, they don't exist. Don't be spooked.

She's untrustworthy. If you can't exert your control over her, she isn't yours and you're wasting your time thinking about her desu

>>17709650

>Realize personality disorders are a spook. That is to say, they have no neurological basis, and are a collection of behaviors. They don't exist.

Interesting. Where did you get your degree in clinical psychology?

>>17709655
USyd, dumbass.

Break up?

>>17709666
Is that really the only option?
I really love her, it's been fantastic for the last year.

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>>17709662

Personality disorders are accepted by the entire psychiatric world. Stop scaring the children with your fringe science.

>>17709669
No, but it's the option I would choose. A second phone and texting another guy just sounds like the icing on the shit cake from your post.

>>17709671
>Personality disorders are accepted by the entire psychiatric world.
Personality disorders are accepted only by western societies. Or is there a citation you can pull from your ass?

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>>17709671
They're accepted as collections of behaviors with no neurological basis. You have NO fucking idea what you're taking about. Even high profile disorders change and morph and disappear entirely with each DSM so as to be undisprovable. Psychiatry is literally a pseudoscience. The actual empirical evidence of this is just now starting to come to light in the academic world. Read someone like Barbara Arrowsmith-Young if you want to get unspooked, my property.

>>17709674
It's tough to give her up. I'd also rather confront her and say what I have to say.

The way I'm being treated is sub human.

How long have you been together anyway?

>>17709914
Just over a year.

>>17709923
Make her swallow your cum. The chemicals make her love you again.

>>17709640
>borderline personality disorder.
Just run dude. Seriously, from experience, cut her the fuck out of your life and never speak to her again.

You're going to end up this way anyway, might as well do it earlier and save yourself the scars.

>>17709933
I've heard that from a lot of people.

Thanks for your concern.

>>17709640
>borderline
>texting other guys

if it's an issue for you, ask her about it
do you WANT to stay with a girl liek that man

>>17709640
Dated a girl with borderline also.
Get out. It's not worth the hassle.
She needs meds.

>>17710133
Yeah, I think I'm going to have to.

I'm a bit concerned because abandoning a borderline is the worse thing you can do.

They jeopardize relationships because of their fear of abandonment. They see it as better for them to end it before it ends due to natural causes and they get hurt. It's a self defense mechanism.

I know I'm making excuses for her but I think is why she's texting this other guy.

For all I know they're just friends, she's a quiet borderline with intimacy issues. Whatever... I still want to punch him in the face.

>>17709640
>My gf has borderline personality disorder.

Abort! Abort! Eject!

Get out now before the real roller coaster starts.

>>17710215
Don't make excuses for her. You may love her, but you have to consider your own happiness. If you're feeling neglected, there's a reason. Trust your gut. It's obviously telling you to leave, so leave. Also, cut contact. She will make hard to leave if you don't. Trust me. I have experience. She will use and lie to you, and worse, she'll feel totally justified.

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>my gf has BPD
OP YOU FUCKING RETARD
EJECT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU

>>17710283
>>17710242
This. You will wish you've never had any girl at all and could live a whole life as a lone virgin rather than consuming your life with her.
There are anons who were in your place in here, trust their experience, learn from their mistakes.

>>17710271
She won't respect him anymore anyway if he stays despite such treatment. She will chat behind his back and so on.

>>17710292
I lived it, it can't be understated how bad things can get. I nearly went mad, all the cheating, lies and gaslighting, chip chip chip away at your self confidence until you're nearly broken. No good comes of relationships with BDPs, they're personalities are corrosive to your wellbeing.

>>17710298
Correct. To add to this, borderlines are generally narcissistic, and they don't respect their partners anyway. They are means to an end.

>>17710283
OP here. Watching the video. Very interesting.

>>17710298
OP again. This is already happening.

>>17709640
>What do I do?
Don't date people with BPD, obviously

>>17710444
Then stop being a cuck, grow a pair of balls and dump her.

>>17710314
It's taken me a while to realize that it's not going to work out.

I know I have to step back.

All the advice here is much appreciated.

>>17710283
The video was exactly what I needed.

The guy hits the nail on the head.

>>17710283
I'm now on his third video.

Best line.... "Find your inner arsehole and give him more room at the table!"

Brilliant!

>>17710539
Yeah, more people need to raise awareness about dangers waiting for young men in modern society. Nobody teaches us those thing.

OP how old are you two?
How did you find out about the phone?
You had suspicions or?

>>17710549
Uh, yeah they do. Fathers who take the time to properly raise their sons.

Sorry your folks suck bro.

>>17710539
>>17710572

Meant for you.

>>17709640
Leave her.

My boyfriend's ex wife has BPD. She ruined him.
It took me a year to get him to trust me.

Holy shit, you sound like a friend of mine right now, he's going through the same shit.
Break up with her - yes, it will hurt, but time heals all wounds. There are girl out there that are loyal and caring, don't waste time on narcissistic people

>>17710572
She's late 20's, I'm early 30's.

When talking on the phone with her I heard her receiving a text message on another phone. I became suspicious and I'm not proud of how I proved myself right so I'll leave it at that.

>>17710590
I can understand.

She is very deceitful and manipulative.

>>17710654

Man that sucks. Get better and ditch her if you want good for yourself.

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>>17709649
First post best post.
There is a reason that, when given a chance, mental health care providers avoid patients with BPD.
You should too, but be ready for suicide threats mixed with offers of awesome BJ's and promised anal sex.

be glad you aren't married to her?

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>>17710731
>tfw nearly married a bpd
>she was lying it's only bipolar
>I couldn't understand why therapists are rejecting her then
>found out in the last minute about cheating, cancelled the wedding
>put the puzzle together long after breakup

>>17710658
She was too. The amount of lies and bullshit she told him was impressing.
She cheated on him, stole his money, ruined his life and made him sound like he was the bad guy (when he is legitimately the best person I know).
After they divorced, he stayed single for nearly a year, then we have been just friends for another year before he even accepted to go out on a date with me. I mean, glad I stayed, but holy shit.

>>17710711
She probably won't give a shit. She's grooming another poor guy.

I think she's up with me because I stopped taking her bullshit. After advice I set ground rules and she realises she can't manipulate me as she originally did.

>>17710745
I too was under the impression she was bipolar. After reading about it and stumbling across borderline it clicked.

I confronted her and yes, she is borderline.

>>17709640
>I'm afraid I'm about to be discarded.
>(Borderlines idealize, devalue and then discard people they were once close to)
If you don't discard people, does it mean you're not borderline?

>>17709640
it happens. They're modern day succubi. You end up loving them so much and then they leave you. Not much you can do about it except steer clear in the future.

>>17711043
I'm having difficulty trying to understand the total lack of compassion.

>>17709926
Do you know what chemicals are?

>>17709650
you know fucking nothing about disorders or mental health.

>>17712221
Well said!

>>17709684
most psychology is folk psychology you fuck. know your epistemic bounds and shut the fuck up

using a mental illness or ever worse lieing about mentally ill is a shitty excuse to justify cheating

>>17709640
You've already been discarded, break up okay anon. It's okay. You're allowed to leave her. Don't feel bad for her, like you need to make her happy. That's how I felt at least, maybe I'm just projecting. I felt guilty for leaving. Just leave. She doesn't love you

>>17710283
You should have posted this in my thread goddamn it. This sounds like the girl I was with, we we're only together for 4 months but she always needed reassurance on everything, dropped the word love all the time, and had future plans that didn't sound like something we should be talking about so soon. I'm fixing to binge the shit out of this guy's channel. No Xanax and alcohol for me tonight!

>>17710444
listen OP.

Dump her.

And this is the most important fucking part. Are you listening? You better be fucking listening because if you're not you're in deep shit.

DO NOT EVER TALK TO HER AGAIN.

Ignore her messages and do not read them. Do not accept her calls. Block her number. Forward all her emails to your spam folder. Block her on all social media. Do no post about her. Do not talk about her to any friends. Don't do fucking anything that involves her ever again.

You're not going to listen are you?

Borderlines want most what they cannot have. You dump this bitch and you will suddenly be the most attractive, desirable man in the world. The more you ignore her the more likely she is to do something desperate.She will try to lure you in with sex. This is what borderlines do. She will offer some of the craziest shit imaginable with "no strings attached", just "you know, two friends".

The second she gets you it will be back to the same old shit OP.

Get out now. Don't ever look back.

Well, I talked yesterday about my wife having BPD. While it is quite mild compared to other cases. It's there.
My point is: she's still a woman, and women respect confident, smart, strong men who knows what they're doing and can tell separate rights from wrongs.

You need to confront her with diplomacy, with normal logical demands that can't enact an emotional reaction too easily: loyalty, trust, honesty, etc. Build your case and ask for the truth.

BPD disorder is not going to make a person cheat or hide secrets though. It might just be tangent to another problem: she's a whore. So study the facts and carry on.

>>17712279
listen dick cheeks

A woman with BPD is not in control of her actions. There is an insane amount of evidence that proves it's a physical disease of the brain. It all has to deal with their perception of danger and the regions of the brain that recognize the danger and the regions of the brain that govern the response.

BPD see everything as a threat and have no idea how to handle that threat.

There are many medications, SSRI, anti-psychotics, and hormone modifiers that can help with BPD. There are also psychiatrists that specialize in BPD that will prescribe these medications and offer therapy coping devices to handle situations better.

There is a difference between a girl with BPD and a girl that's getting treatment for her BPD.

If your woman is not getting treatment for her borderline disorder then you need to get the fuck out if she refuses to.

OP sounds like his girl has already done things that are beyond the point of no return though.

>>17709684

>Psychiatry is literally a pseudoscience

You're purposefully mincing words and being daft to avoid straying away from your narrative.

For you to talk about the human mind with such certainty immediately tells me you know absolutely no idea wha you're talking about. Personality disorders absolutely have a neurological basis. Please, just google for 5 minutes and you'd see how unequivocally wrong you are.

None of the things you mentioned even relatively disproves the existence and validity of personality disorders. They aren't "made up", kid. I dunno what snake oil bullshit you've been buying but the rest of the world is perfectly happy to believe the hundreds of years of documented proof and studies to support the existence of personality disorders.

>Read someone like Barbara Arrowsmith-Young if you want to get unspooked, my property.

Nah, I just finished reading a research paper about the existence of lizard people. My limit is one sitting of bullshit a day.

>Personality disorders are accepted only by western societies.

The existence of other culture who believe everything wrong with the human brain is caused by spirits and evil demons does not somehow negate the existence of personality disorders.

I'm sure monkeys don't accept the existence of personality disorders either but that doesn't actually prove anything, does it?

>>17712485
What a good consumer you are, don't stop questioning authority!

>>17712519
you might be literally retarded.

>>17712524
Yes yeeesss

>>17712485
>Personality disorders absolutely have a neurological basis.
Well kind of. But any identifiable subgrouping of the population has neurological differences. You can find brain differences between people who like two different types of music, people with different political affiliations, even people who meditate vs those who don't, and between any of these groups and the general population. However this is pretty weak as you still can't look at a specific person's brain scan and learn whether they have a certain personality disorder, like this music or that music, whether they vote left or right, or whether they meditate, and so on.
Also, mental health professionals can't discern fakers from real patients worth a shit, unlike basically all of the rest of medicine.

>>17712545
Dude you gave him something to look up and he shit on it equating it to reptillian conspiracies, why are you continuing to talk with someone so arrogant/delusional/brainwashed/etc. I mean maybe if he was being ignorant and just was misinformed but he's being a total asshole about it, fuck him

>>17712557
I'm not the person he was replying to, just jumping in.

>>17712557
>>17712564
you're literally retarded.

Is it so hard for you to understand that the human mind can break?

You're denying science and biology straight up.

Any retard that thinks psychiatry is a "pseudoscience" doesn't understand basic biology.

>>17712587
>Is it so hard for you to understand that the human mind can break?
>You're denying science and biology straight up.
>Any retard that thinks psychiatry is a "pseudoscience" doesn't understand basic biology.
Not an argument.

>>17712564
oh okay. he seems like a lost cause, is interesting for others that could be lurking though.

I will add this though, regardless of whether disorders are "real" or not they don't get cured by medicine and it's only through learning symptom management from a kind of therapy. Psychiatrists are almost always scamming you, and this is coming from someone who was 'diagnosed' with adhd. He'd just give me any random shit without really caring about what I had to say really.

I mean stuff like adhd and imo even bipolar autism stuff isn't real other than being a group of symptoms, with the underlying cause still unknown but usually due to (lack of) understandings and beliefs in the subconscious. if I didn't know better I'd say I had aspergers growing up but having my friends forcing me to socialize over years pretty much fixed that (while smoking lots of weed, but really if I picked up any social hobby like soccer or something it would have worked just as well) so in a way I got therapy or did selftherapy

the real disorders are probably more like actual developmental disorders, with almost a vegetative state or something due to lack of brain function. then again there's been people with half a brain removed and living nearly normal lives and above average iq... we, as in modern science, just doesn't know jack shit about consciousness

>>17712545
There is so much wrong with this post I don't even know where to begin.

>>17712607
>There is so much wrong with this post I don't even know where to begin.
I made only two points, you have only two choices; the first or the second. But you chose neither, because I'm right and you know it.

>>17712606
you have literally no understanding of how the human mind works.

Like.... at fucking all.

Do you know what the connection between parkinsons and schizophrenia is? Do you think those people are faking it?

>I mean stuff like adhd and imo even bipolar autism stuff isn't

....

>understandings and beliefs in the subconscious.
...........

>he real disorders are probably more like actual developmental disorders,
What... you realize that's how... what the fuck is wrong with you? How fucking stupid are you?

>>17712609
No, you're so fucking stupid you're literally delusional. literally literally.

>>17712615
>No, you're so fucking stupid you're literally delusional. literally literally.
Not an argument

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experiment
Here's some nice light reading for you if you're interested.

>>17712612
>What... you realize that's how... what the fuck is wrong with you? How fucking stupid are you?
See this might be an example of a developmental disorder that I was talking about

It's okay anon, maybe your brain will adapt and you'll be able to finish your sentences soon!

>>17711029
Bumping for answers

>>17712672
It doesn't matter whether you're symptoms constitute what is called borderline personality disorder. If you have the self awareness to identify your own psychological traits and that you want to change them then you can probably also do some further analysis for why they happen like what thought patterns occur that causes it and how you can convince yourself beforehand so that when these thought patterns do occur you can just remember how you've already convinced yourself and that there's no point to thinking like that.