So I'm sitting at the bar drinking alone. My relationship

I try and maintain one friend don't try and take on 4 different people try and focus all your efforts on one person once you feel comfortable branch out, I had zero friends in school and never spoke, and now I have like 3 hope my sobb story helped

Also don't be afraid to try dumb things Iv made the best of friends doing things out of my comfort zone

>>17701293
Still at the bar. The old guys are arguing about what mass shooting in the U.S.A killed the most people. One grey haired man in a blazer, says it was the time a guy in a clock tower shot all those students. Another old timer with a baseball cap says the biggest mass murder committed by an American, was when the bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. Their friend is leaving, but before he goes he is coordinating an outing for all of them to meet again. I hope I'm like him when I'm old.

>>17701307
Thanks for the tip. I'll do my best to branch out. I'm not afraid to talk to people, in fact I clip board for campus groups all the time. But I can't get past the early stages of friendship.

>>17701329
Find something in common for me its anime and games try and find a common thing you two like and go at it for a while soon you guys/girls will be hitting it off and hanging out in no time

>>17701293

being an introvert just means enjoying time alone. it doesnt mean you hate people, it doesnt mean you cant stand to eb aorund others or cant forge meaningful relationship.

im an introvert. i recharge in alone time. i need it most. i will never marry cuz i could not stand being aroudn someone that long.

but i have the most meaningful relationships of the people i know, not just with friends but iwth my parents, my boss, everyone in my life is hella important to me and i explore the bonds.

>>17701293
how to depen friendships:


>Stress
>Time

lets start with
>stress

stress brings people together. its the reason soldiers come back from overseas feeling like they are brothers. the reason teenagers make really strong friendships so fast is partly because they think everything is stressful. they think everything is hard, and the end of the world, and dramatic. they get emotional about everything. and they share those emotions with each other and support each other and quickly become the best friends ever. even if the stress is imaginary, you can still bond over it.

now stress doesn't have to be bad, and it can be manufactured healthily. by which i mean, you can do things that require more effort than just hanging out and chilling.

Got a really good co op game? play it with your friend. play it til the end. beat the game together. go camping together. go on a road trip together. make a movie together, write a book together, anything that makes you work together. something more than just sitting around and chilling. enter a contest. find a friend and do anything that takes at least a few months to complete and keeps you close.

-----------------------------

>>17701293
>>17701538

another thing is
>time

now i dont mean spending years together. cuz many people who have known each other for years only know each other superficially.

the truth is that most 'friends' in adulthood meet at max once a week. they use each other simply to relax or have fun. its usually in a group, but even the 1 on 1 time is shallow. you talk, catch up, then go back to your own lives.

someone can know someone for six years and not beclose.

on the other hand people who share the same job and work together daily become REALLY fucking close. or the person you go to school with. or like when you are a kid, spend a lot of time wtih, 1 on 1.

in a group people are less likely to share private details. one on one, they are. less to be embarassed about. people dont share secrets with groups. they share it with one person.

dont be afraid to have an adult sleepover if you can convince someone. the above mentioned roadtrips, camping trips etc. are also great ways to bond. anything that can you hanging out for a full day instead of just the lunch chunk of the day.


finally a third thing im adding
>share

if you want people to open up, you have to open up first. share something personal. you have to be willing to go to someone with a problem and talk about it, but dont whine regardless of the advice. you can say' i dont need advice, i just need someone to listen and to care'. if they are worth being your friend they will. they might share their own experience. and next time they have a problem they might come to you.

good luck hope it helps

tl;dr you needto make an effort. bond with them,

>>17701540
>>17701538
Not OP but this is actually really helpful, thanks!