How do I cope with it all. I'm a 27 year old failure. I

>>17698621
Go to the store and buy some peanut butter.

>>17698621
The crushing disappointment that weighs heavy on your soul doesn't really go away. You just kind of learn to deal with it, but you deal with it in a way that makes sense to you.

I don't know what your theology is, if you believe in spirituality or gods or whatever, but that's usually where people find meaning. For the rest of us, we find meaning in ideas. When I was younger, all I wanted was to make a change in the world for the better, something that people would remember me by. As I get older, the realisation that *everything* is finite, even the existence of the universe we live in, has given me a sort of liberty. It's given me the ability to be okay with the shit things that happen. It's taught me to live for myself, my pleasures and my experiences.

One thing I'm certain of though is that I'm not as kind to myself as I should be. It's easy to shit all over ourselves, because we are our biggest critic. It's harder to learn how to respect and love yourself. Without these qualities, how can you expect respect and love from others? The one thing I learned from my father that I'm always using is "Ask as a better question."

"How do I respect and love myself?"
"What qualities do I find deserving of respect and love?"
"How do I build these qualities in myself?"
You can apply it to almost anything, and usually you'll find a simpler way to deal with something that seems unfathomable.

Life is hard, but you have three options.
1. Refuse to face it, and end yourself
2. Keep living in perpetual state of self-loathing and depression
3. Take the steps, however small they might be, towards building a better life for yourself, one that you want to live

I hope you can find some inspiration in these words. Life's always going to be shit, but you can make it less shit.

>>17698675

I don't own a dog so I don't think that will help me too much.

>>17698690

I don't really believe in anything. Bad high school experience at a catholic school left me jaded. And with all the bad shit that goes on in this life it's hard to believe in some greater power out there.

I did try to get better. It was hard but I thought I had turned my life around. But I still fail socially. Doesn't help that my sister just got married, and I recently rejoined Facebook to reconnect with people and to find pretty much all of them successful, the perk of going to a private school, it seems like I was the only one that has failed. I just hate being alone, I know it's not good to place your self worth on what others think but being a social outcast really fucked with my mentality. It makes me feel even more broken.

I do appreciate your response tho.

>>17698700
I feel you man, I went to a private school too. I'm still living at home trying to scrape together enough money to move out and I see them on facebook just finishing their degrees in aviation or medicine, wearing nice suits and going to these big events, climbing mountains and providing aid in impoverished countries. I was never popular in school and I only have two people in my life I'd call a real friend. It does fuck you up, especially after a long time of feeling so lonely. I'll never fully understand your situation, but I can identify with it. You can't go through your whole life comparing yourself to others. You are not them, and they are not you. It's super important to look at things objectively, to be able to separate yourself from your emotions.

Most importantly - Rome wasn't built in a day. You might feel broken, but you can make reparations. Maybe you'll never be completely fixed, but maybe you can get into running order. Maybe just where it's enough. Baby steps, man

>>17698692
The peanut butter is for you, you dingus. Indulge.

>>17698621
join the military

as for being alone don't worry, it gets easier

>>17698621
Get out of your own head. It isn't very healthy in there right now.

Forget the past. Make some changes in your life right now.

Forget looking for women or even friends. Look for new things to do with your days or evenings. Join a club, join a gym, take a "useless" class (cooking? Spanish?) at a CC, do volunteer work.

You'll be doing something new, which will begin to break bad patterns. You'll be among others doing the same thing, so chatting and making friends will be natural. And some of the others might be girl-type others.

For you OP...I'd work on overall desirability. Start with self worth. You can really only be confident when you are okay with yourself, and aren't looking for validation from others (female acceptance). Guess you gotta be cocky enough to be willing to make a fool of yourself and shrug it off, and also be able to put yourself on the line, get rejected, and be resilient enough to bounce back.

If someone rejects me with "let's just be friends" I tell them ok, and just never talk to them again. They aren't direct because they're afraid of hearing a "well fuck you, then" or getting worse. Most of them won't pursue it if you don't. If they do, tell them "oh yeah, about that...thought about your offer and changed my mind because we don't really have anything in common." And just leave it at that. If you can hold yourself together, good. Realize it's now on them to not make a drama scene. A lot of them like to make digs like "guys never want to be just friends"--that's just them getting pissy and acting all high-ground cuz it stings when you stand up for yourself and say no. Truth doesn't make a lot of friends but you're not in it just to be (white-knight helicopter) friends and "nice guys" are really just assholes like the rest of us but can't admit it.

I was in much a similar situation as you. I pretty much had to sacrifice my twenties to my family. Dad was deathly ill with some unknown variant of epstein bar, we were shit tons in debt so I had to work in the family business. I'd been unsuccessful in college. The recession was hitting.

I found I'd be happy as an entrepreneur owning my own business, plus having my multitude of skills, several hobbies I like (not enough time for all of them), and pets. Finds someone I love? Great. If not? Hookers.

>>17698992

I tried. Got disqualified for a physical reason.

>>17699004

I do go to the gym. I'm also taking some general classes at college and I'm volunteering. Ive been breaking bad patterns since May and I'm still stuck.

>>17699065

I tried hookers. Too expensive of a habit for an hour of fun then days of lonlyness after

>>17699560
That one guys advice is bad. Don't ignore the issues. You need to chase your darkness down the rabbit hole. deal with the feelings. Once you deal with your darkness, you'll feel free to love and pursue the life you really want. Don't ignore those emotions, it only leads to greater despair.

>>17700137

Yah I realize I buried my issues and became really busy and started to feel better. But they exploded on me and send me spiraling down. I'm seeing my therapist again in hopes that I can work through it while staying busy instead of how in the past I was just seeing a therapist and full of meds being a neet.

It's just I'm starting to lose hope after my recent breakdown

>>17699566
Well then, work on your overall desirability.

Get back in shape and stay there like that one other anon said. The purpose of this isn't simply to get pussy (cuz then it's obvious and you come off as desperate and pathetic), but to continually prove to yourself that you're "worth it" and you actually give a damn. Confidence radiates outward, and people can't help but notice. If you're a 30 something who appears to give a shit about himself and is striving for being the best "him" that he can, even if you're not quite where you want to be...you'll be a lot more appealing in general.

Most importantly have a direction in life, and take the initiative.


However there's 2 schools of thought about relationships and both have their truths.

1) Jim Belushi's "real men don't apologize". In that, it isn't that you never apologize, it means you don't apologize to women for being a man and sticking with your convictions through uncertainty, when you make a decision you generally don't back down. Can't explain it all here.

2) Lover vs Provider. Look it up. If it hasn't been repeatedly demonstrated already through certain porn, there is a difference between sexual seduction of a woman, and simply being a dumb schlub who puts food on the table while she fakes it with you, in order to go fuck around while you're at work. Can't explain it all here either.

Look them up and see what you think. I'd say I'm between the two: I'm not naive about how women function subconsciously. However there's nothing wrong with settling for one who is endearing herself to you even if she's not ideal but obviously better than ...we'll call them the other women of 'ruck'. Sure they may not be able to pull off a cosplay Morrigan Aensland (or whatever fictional chick), but they will want to be with you. It's a balancing act and she'll constantly test you. Ain't all it's cracked up to be; Can be what you make it.

Biding my time I'm enjoying what time to myself that I can.