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My bf and I were in more of an "open relationship" (I guess) when we first met. We were both 25 and met randomly and for the first 2 years we never had a talk about being exclusive. He was not with anyone else, but I had some trysts. Then we moved to California for a while and I had cut my long hair right before moving, not knowing what I was in for. He hooked up with 2 girls out there. It was the first time he ever was with anyone else. We had a disussion when I found out and he said that since we had never had "the talk" it wasn't clear, but he wanted to be exclusive and be a couple and not just dating or whatever.
Since then no one has cheated and I have grown my hair back quite long. We live in a different state so its pretty pronounced because people dont value long hair like they do in Cali. He compliments me on my hair all the time.
But it always reminds me of how he was with these other girls and that he only ever got with anyone else when I was sporting a shorter haircut. It makes me wonder how long their hair was and if he liked it better. He always avoids talking about it much.
His dad called me once and told me that my bf has never been a player or a ladies man and has always kind of had trouble with girls and not to worry. My bf also said the girls were
Not that hot and they came on to him and he was on drugs and feeling peer pressure and that he thinks I am beautiful.
I still feel so insecure though. When he plays with my hair or compliments it it makes me want to cry.
We are trying really hard to reset our relationship but how do I get past this trigger response about hair length?
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>>17693656
I didn't even bother finiah reading this post. Jesus you seem fucking insufferable. I am sorry but there is no problem this is what happens when you are a whore and start an "open" relationship with a cuckold. Fuck off with your stupidity and weeb faggotry and let people with actual problems post.
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>>17693668
Finish*
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>>17693656
Lets get this out of the way. The length of you hair hasn't got a damn thing to do with any of your relationship issues.
People that commit to another person never need the "exclusive" talk to make it official, they just stop fucking other people. Your bf committed to you early and you continued fucking others. So for him it wasn't open but for you it was open from the first until you moved away from your fuck buddies. What you failed to grasp as you fucked other people he was unable to understand why if you really cared. Over time he understood you would never stop so when the opportunity arose when you moved he took them and unfortunately for you, your opportunities dried up. Had you moved and had chances you would still be fucking even if he had none. For you to be insecure now when you lack the opportunities to fuck around is hilarious. Reset the relationship? Does that mean you long for the days when he wouldn't fuck other women but you fucked other men?
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>>17693704
This right here.
Also long hair is much more attractive than short hair on a woman.
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>>17693656
So you can fuck other guys and it's no big deal, but your boyfriend fucks other women and it's the end of the world. Sounds like female logic to me... carry on
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>>17693704
If you don't have "the exclusive talk" then you have no right to get mad if you find out the relationship isn't exclusive.
Good relationships need honest direct communication. No assumed shit.
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>>17693827
I think OP's problem now is not insecurity that her bf may fuck or desire other women since his father confirmed he is not a player and he has confirmed his commitment to her but this is the first time in their relationship she cannot accept the attentions and act on them from other guys without it being cheating. It was ok for her to be desired by her bf and other men and now just her bf isn't enough and she's trying to blame it on him.
She's working on justifying getting the attention she needs from other men because she is not getting enough from the bf.
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>>17693865
that is not always true anon. Countless relationships begin and both parties dig each other enough they do not want anyone else. I agree there are couples that hook up and one prefers just that person and the other wants to play and not as serious towards them. The conversation you speak of is a negotiation where the partner preferring commitment tries to lock down the other. Clear from your response anon what side you fall and expect to use every loophole to have your cake and eat it too.
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>>17693865
no where do I see that OP's bf was mad or even said a word. OP doesn't however get to determine if he was hurt because she didn't want monogamy without a contract.
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What a terrible relationship, if you can call it that. Why the hell you assumed for over 2 years you can just bang other guys is beyond me.
You know very early if it's exclusive or not. Like another has mentioned, you clearly avoided this so that you could have your cake and eat it too.
Two years man..
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>>17693880
Just because there are some people who have gone without it doesn't mean it shouldn't happen. It was called going steady in the past. An exclusive talk should always happen.
Also apparently my response doesn't make it clear which side I fall because I was always voluntarily monogamous while dating even before any talk like that. I'm now happily married.
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