I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I just jacked of

If you feel remorse for it, you're not a sociopath. Just never do it again and forget about it.

>>17692944
I don't that's the thing. I dated a couple of girls. Had sex with one, left the other one for a good reason I think. She did this whole thing where she was really spiritual or something and had this imaginary friend/demon thing, she was sorta possessed I think maybe? Then again she could have been pretending? I don't now, I'm really skeptical about it anyways. The point is I don't really feel bad about using them for sex, I just think it was fucked up, but really I don't internalize it I think?
I know that sounds really fucking weird, but that kinda actually happened.. My ex thought she was possessed or something by spirits, and I don't really care, which is kinda funny if you think about it

I have a swiss army knife next to me I sharpened recently, and I'm not killing myself with it. I don't know why though. NOt that I want to die, I'm just curious about it though. Fuck nevermind, I don't know why I thought about that. It's just fucked up to think that I could do that anytime now. OP btw

>>17692944
Now that I think about it a bit, isn't forgetting about it the really fucked up thing? I mean, admitting you're fucked is part of solving your shit right? I think forgetting about it is fucked, just out. I mean, i have to live with myself, if forgetting was easy,everyone would do it. I wont, I mean why the fuck to I have to feel guilt for jerking off, at least I'm not hurting anyone. right? I mean what the fuck. what is wrong with me what?

You're right to think that way. Life is fucked up sometimes, but the key is some of the time. You gotta get yourself out of this mindset for a bit, maybe listen to some podcasts, watch a Netflix series, something to preoccupy your thoughts.

>>17693007
i don't really know. I'll be honest here. I haven't left my room in a while, and I've been thinking about stuff my whole life. i spend my time thinking about what i did and how that will affect my life and others. i think about how all the things i say affect other people and how they think about me. I've come to think that I think too much about things. i think about things and then i get sad. because i know i've done many bad things. i mean i haven't killed anyone yet, but i'm damn close i think. and the bad part isn't that i'm close, it's that i can't seem to care.

i have this friend right. he's pretty broken up over a breakup (i know that was terrible), and he's been a great friend to me. hell he's always been there for me. he talked to me about how he wants to die sometimes and i tried to come up with reasons for him not to. I mean that's what you do right? but then I found out i don't want to have to deal with it.I don't know why i feel bad about it, well maybe i do, but i can't make those feelings my own.
and that's just one of my issues.

>>17693031
also, this isn't really about him, that's just kinda what popped into mind when i thought about stuff. right now my fucking problem is with myself. i think my not caring is more of a symptom rather than an illness