Hey adv, what makes you find purpose in something? For the last 2 years I have found myself to be in constant self hate. Not angsty twitter "I hate my life" but rather not believing I deserve anything. I was in a string of relationships but I was always the problem. At this point I can't find a purpose to socialize with anyone, I have zero interest in sexual or emotional relationships, and I spend all my time not in class in my single dorm on 4chan or playing video games. I can no longer watch tv, sports, and even many video games are just seeming pointless to me. The only thing I enjoy is travel. During high school a few years ago I studied abroad and it was the only time I was really happy. I am spending a year abroad starting next spring, but even then I will always be an outsider. Traveling is just a way of running away I think. There is no escape. How do you create meaning to life? I think about how being dead really doesn't sound too bad. You can't feel anything if dead. Besides, the only emotions I feel on a regular basis are nostalgia of growing up and being happy coupled with crippling mental anguish bc I don't know whats wrong with me and have a lot of trouble making real friends.
you're going on a downward spiral by continuing this daily routine of bleak, senseless existence. days, weeks and months strung together mesh into one big moment of the same shit, so naturally travelling is good for you because it adds some DIVERSITY into an otherwise boring life. you've over saturated your existence with the same sources of entertainment which leads to your hunger for, well, 'fun' being left unsated
>>17692854
the only problem is when I see people who go out every weekend to the bars or to a party I just feel like they are hiding from the meaningless through distraction. I feel like I'd be lying to myself.
you need to get your shit together, anon, by asserting your dominance and control over your body, mind and life. and you're gonna do this by adopting some rules and setting some goals for yourself, then going through with them. afterwards, do something you've never done before (like getting laid LMAO SICK BURN XDD) and trying new things. talk to new people, go for a movie or something else you haven't enjoyed in a while, read a book, do some drugs, go exploring into am area you never have, try fishing, camping, archery, swimming, fucking beekeeping whatever man, get some hobbies and fill out your life with things you actually will enjoy instead of /v/ and chan
you seem to have an infantile version of nihilism ingrained into your mind (no offense intended)
at first all the things I suggested will feel like just going through the motions, it'll all be grey and shitty, but you have to continue doing it to actually fucking appreciate it and enjoy it. it's not about lying to yourself, it's about appreciating and valuing simple things in life and giving them personal meaning in an inherently meaningless existence
you there faggot?
>>17692880
yeah I feel, I was in the college military training program here for a year and I felt really motivated but I don't want to fight for George Soros so that kinda fucked everything up. I'll try to make more out of my time and do things differently. In fact, tomorrow I'm going to the city with a girl from one of my courses. Should be nice. thanks for ur advice anon
chin up my good man, gl