I'm having an affair with a married woman. I have no experience

>>17690502
>What are the good things?
The sex is fun and risqué because it's taboo

>What are the bad things?
You are ruining someone's life, potentially destroying a family for the sake of your own physical pleasure

>What's gonna happen in the future?
If you don't stop, the person being cheated on will find out and be very upset. See previous commentary

>>17690502

What are the details? Age of you and the woman/why is she cheating on her partner? how long have you known each other etc.

I really don't think you're doing much wrong, you're a single guy (I assume) and have the right to see whoever you want. In saying that, I would really think about the circumstances of why this is happening, if you will develop feelings, if her partner is a psycho etc.

I know it could seem like love, she might even divorce this guy for you, you might get married, but what she did is a huge character flaw that is likely to repeat, she felt about this guy how she does about you at some point in time and that changed.

On the other hand if you're solely doing this to get your rocks off then go ahead. I feel bad for the husband of this woman but the blame is almost entirely on her.

>>17690521

>You are ruining someone's life, potentially destroying a family for the sake of your own physical pleasure

Wrong, she is ruining someone's life and destroying a family for her physical pleasure. If it wasn't him it would be the next guy she found attractive. If anything this guy is doing the other guy a favour by exposing his wife for who she really is.

>>17690521
Her husband is also having an affair. Maybe he will be upset but he's just as bad as she is.

>>17690522
I'm 28 she is 29. I think their marriage is just falling apart because they got married young. I've just known her for 10 days.

I'm afraid I'll develop some feeling (and I might already have) simply because I was actually a virgin when I met her and now she's all over my dick. I don't know if her husband is a psycho but he works a high profile office job, I hope he's more like Paul Allen and less like Patrick Bateman. How do I keep the feelings in check?

As I said, the husband is just as bad.

>>17690545

My advice is to ride this out a little longer, maybe around a month and just see what happens, put no expectations on her and let her tell you how she feels after that time. This could very well just be a release for her and she doesn't want anything further so don't invest yourself too much into this. On the other hand by the time a month rolls around she could be asking you to be together, in which case you have to really talk to her and decide together if what she did is part of her character or if it's a revenge/spite situation.

>>17690525
>HAHAHAHA THIS GUY'S GONNA DIE ANYWAY SO I'M JUSTIFIED IN KILLING HIM!

You're evil

You should kill yourself. You're evil and destroying someone's life. You're a demon.

>>17690525

It doesn't matter who is ruining whose life. The point is that a life is being ruined because of the affair. He's doing him a favor by fucking his wife? Okay.

Yes, the fact that they're cheating on each other is indicative that their marriage has gone to shit. Still, two wrongs don't make a right.

>>17690545
for a 5 year span all I fucked were married women (dozens) and learned you need to fuck a few times and leave and not get sucked into her marriage drama and feelings fuck everything up. Either from the woman or from you.

Learned the hard way. Early I had husbands banging outside doors knowing their wife inside with someone, photos delivered showing me and a wife at restaurants, hotels, one with us fucking in a car in a park and threatened with a ball bat. Had wives leave their husband and show up at my door with luggage and a smile and once I was so smitten and jealous of her husband I was physically sick and would lurk outside her house. All fucked up. Fucking them is the easiest, hottest pussy you'll ever get but make damn sure they stay married and you bounce to the next one. Always be cultivating the replacement of the one you are fucking now.

>>17690545
You're 28 and lost your v card 10 days ago? How did you not give up hope? How much of yourself wants out of this woman's affair?

>>17690573
You're a fucking monster.

>>17690573
How do I notice if she's about to do something fucked up? Is there any sign? She's been all over me but honestly, I'm a downgrade from her husband. I'm not a burden but I'm still a student and I don't have a job or anything. I'm nice though and I cook her dinner and listen to her speak (and I enjoy it).

On the other hand, how do I notice if she's gonna end it all? Do I talk to her about what we're actually doing or will that ruin everything? I don't mind that I'm just a release, I actually really like that, I just mind that I'm in limbo about it and we can't really talk about where we are in our relationship because it's not actually a relationship, it's an affair. If she told me "I'm just with you for now because I'm confused and it's nice that we can just have dinner and fuck without any hassle" I'd be alright. I just don't know what's up or down right now.

>>17690580
I never really thought it was a big deal, my virginity. I also had some chances to lose it, and to some cute girls, but I just kind of waited for the right one. Which happened to be this girl.

I wanna ride this out a little longer. I'm only getting to know her but I like her a lot so far. I could see us going long term and getting into a real relationship but I just don't know her well enough to decide yet.

>>17690590

How did you find out it was an affair to begin with? that would have been your window to ask some questions about what you're doing and how she feels about it all.

Chances are you're not in for a good shot, once the husband finds out the drama starts and she will likely be rid of you to either save the marriage or because theres too much drama in her life to deal with a new relationship. And if she does want to be with you it's risky for you because like you said you're a downgrade from her husband and most likely just a fling to her so after the initial excitement wears off she might miss the stability she had.

>>17690582
Some of it is fucked, I agree but of the dozens I fucked, only know of two that divorced and it wasn't because of me. 9 of 10 made the first move on me, some it was their first time stepping outside their marriage and others something they did when the opportunity arose. Some were happy, some depressed, some bored and some angry but all of them had the same lustful look when the decision was made to act.

>>17690598

>waits to lose virginity
>decides a woman in a crumbling marriage is the way to go
>"I could see us going long term"

classic case of going full fucking retard

>>17690606
Well here's hoping a guy comes home and empties 12-gauge rifled-slug cartridges into you when he finds you fucking his wife/gf

>>17690590
>where we are in our relationship
Did you read my post? You don't want this. The moment either you or she starts feeling something it's time to move on. Please move on OP

>>17690609

Why so much anger for the third party? He's a single guy and can fuck whoever he wants, for all you know these women didn't immediately disclose their relationship status with him. And even if they did they would likely have in their own mind a good reason for doing so, saying the relationship is about to end anyway or my partner is also cheating on me etc. If a hot girl came up to you and told you the same it would be hard to say no solely because she's in a failing marriage.

You shouldn't have an affair at all. A fantasy or a wet dream is normal (never act upon it, more than likely it's a temporary lust because you're bored). If you or them is in an committed relationship it's never a good idea. Never had one myself and don't plan to. Godspeed anon

>>17690590
>>17690610

Pretty much this, she will either break your heart and be done with you when she realises what a mistake she's made or she will cling to you for dear life out of fear of being alone after a failed marriage. That and you also have to deal with her feelings for her ex, that stuff doesn't just go away, especially if they were married, they still love and care for each other.

It's a complete mess no matter which way you look at it, try to find a single girl that's interested in you. In the mean time use your better judgement and don't get overly attached, you will regret it hard down the track.

>>17690620
>If a hot girl came up to you and told you the same it would be hard to say no solely because she's in a failing marriage.

Actually I would say no. Any girl who cheats on a man will

1. Cheat on me
2. Is probably a mentally ill whore
3. Irrelevant because there is plenty of 18-24 yo pussy around without me willingly choosing to fuck up another man's life

Women do not think. They're animals. By choosing to fuck her behind his back, the onus is completely on you.

Nice deflection attempt to compensate for your lack of a moral compass though. You may as well go live in the woods.

>>17690605
Her husband knows their marriage is fucked and he's having an affair too. I found out the very first night I met her, she pretty much told me.

Yes, I think it's not unlikely that she and her husband will work something out eventually. How do I tell when that's about to happen? I really don't want to be paranoid about it all the time, I just wanna enjoy.

>>17690608
Hey dude, this works in mysterious ways. She's just so much more mature than any other girl I've ever been near. Hearing a girl talk about her favorite Italian white wine is just a bigger turn on for me than hearing a girl talk about her favorite scrunchy.

>>17690621
It's not a committed relationship when they both know the other one is cheating?

>>17690609
I stopped living on the edge already but agree that was at the back of my mind and constantly looking over my shoulder. One time a woman I met at work took me back to her apartment one evening. It wasn't fully furnished but had a mattress and a chair or two and she just moved in that day. We fuck and around 2am banging on the door wakes me, she whispers don't open the door, thought the door would come down and look through the peep hole at a huge guy with no neck and was her husband she left that day. This woman wanted to fuck me so bad she rented an apartment and fabricated a reason to leave her husband. I'm almost shitting my boxers as this guy pounds for 15 minutes and finally leaves after waking neighbors. I was one scared fucker leaving the next morning.

>>17690629

Did you not read what that guy said? He never intended to pursue a relationship, it was just a meeting between two people that found each other attractive and ended up fucking, the failing marriage was an afterthought. I don't really know why I'm arguing this point as I would likely say no as well but I can completely understand guys that go ahead with it and I don't blame them, I blame the women.

>>17690640
> it was just a meeting between two people that found each other attractive and ended up fucking

A cannibal finds your flesh tantalizing, so he starts to nibble on you even though he knows it's wrong. But it's ok, because he was hungry right? Everyone gets hungry. I mean he could have just ate a steak, he had tons of money, but he was hungry then and there.

I'm very astounding at how evil you guys are. You dont have morals.

>>17690647

It's at best morally questionable for the third party involved, a woman looking to cheat will cheat with someone eventually, she will lie/withhold information if she notices the guy backing off to get him in the sack. The only time I can see it being immoral is if the woman immediately tells you she is married and you decide to continue pursuing her anyway.

Cheaters are the real scum here, if they're willing to cheat they're willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

>>17690640
Seems you get it anon though I'm not here saying what I did was my finest contribution to society. Many of the women once you got to know them weren't really that unhappy or should say didn't really have a reason to be unhappy with their marriage. I would tell them so. Now there were many looking for a way out but I learned to steer clear of them because most never ended their marriage anyway after a huge blow up, separation, threats and reconciliation. In fact that is what OP has on his hands right now and she has told him so. "I'm just with you for now because I'm confused"

>>17690631
>Italian white wine

Yes, quite mature, hup hup tally ho my good man.

If you lost your virginity to this woman, you probably need to go ahead and bail. Most guys end up having some strong feelings for a while to that girl, even though a lot of them will deny it, and one cheating on her husband with you is a really shit way to start the ball rolling.

>>17690620
I lost my virginity to a girl and even came inside her as she begged me to do it and i was not smart that night. After we were done she was surprised at how many messages she got and only then told me that her boyfriend was pissed off, wonderibg what was taking her so Long to get Home.

It felt bad because if i had a gf i would not like it myself if she fucked other guys.

>>17690678
>i had a gf i would not like it myself if she fucked other guys.

You clearly don't have feelings anyway so you probably wouldnt. Demons like you tend to be morally void.

>>17690651

>having sex with a woman you know is married
>at best morally questionable

I think most people would disagree with you there.

>>17690682

You purposely avoided other aspects of the post to fit your agenda. I clearly stated it would be immoral if the woman told you she is married, but cheaters aren't this open when they're looking to cheat because they know it's a turn off for most people and generally makes them look like pieces of shit.

>>17690694

Did purposely ignore this part of OP's story?

>Her husband knows their marriage is fucked and he's having an affair too. I found out the very first night I met her, she pretty much told me.

Obviously it's not immoral to fuck a married woman if you didn't know she was married. Stop being an idiot.

>>17690502
Yeah I have but didn't know she was married until we had sex for the first time. But then we had sex a bunch more times after that.

Positives:
Got my dick wet.
She was really horny for me and chased me, which I hadn't experienced in a while.
Opened up some doors through her circle of acquaintances.
Kept trying to setup threesomes with me and other people.

Negatives:
Fear of her husband finding out and kicking my head in.
She went really clingy at first and kinda stalkerish.
Didn't want to feel like I was a reason for their relationship to fall apart.

>>17690763
>But then we had sex a bunch more times after that.

Fuck off hellbeast

>>17690773
Meh. She had told her husband before our first time that if he didn't get his act together (in various ways) that she would be tempted and would sleep around.
If it wasn't me she'd be doing it with someone else.

>>17690502
One of the bad things is being a piece of shit but that probably doesn't bother you too much.

>>17690779
>if it wasn't me it'd be someone else
>if I did't kill this guy it'd be someone else
>if I didn't steal it it'd be someone else

Terrible circullar logic. You're just looking for an excuse to be an evil piece of shit. Here's hoping you get shot soon

>>17690786
>>17690789
Lol.. Whatever dickheads. The world isn't just black and white or good and bad. I helped her become a stronger person and stand up to her asshole husband.

In my experience, with a married woman I wouldn't keep it an ongoing thing.

Get in there, have some fun, do it over again a couple times, and then cut your losses.

It won't do you, her, or anyone else any good to remain in that situation. Get the experience for what it's worth, and get out.

>>17690789

That's a faulty analogy, it would be closer to say something like

> if I didn't pick up the $50 note from the floor, someone else would have.

Stealing and murdering someone aren't things likely to happen, where as a person looking to cheat will find someone to cheat with regardless. Being the guy that turns her down for moral superiority doesn't spare her husband any heartache because the next guy won't do the same.

>>17690817

this is true. the difference between murder and a dollar on the ground is the force of incentive. a murderer is going out of his way to make something happen. a loose woman is going to find someone to be loose with. a dollar on the ground is asking to be picked up.

the best route would be to sleep with her, and then tell her husband. but that can be dangerous. also, don't fall in love, you fucking moron.

>>17690789
>>17690786

I'd say just fuck her and then tell her husband about it anonymously, you're not sparing any hurt feelings by letting a cheater continue trying to find someone after you rejected her, might as well get a fuck out of it.

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>>17690545
I hope he murders you and dissolves your body in a bathtub full of acid. (^:

>>17690502
It's threads like this that make me happy that I'm not married and getting cheated on.
But also saddens me that I'll never find real love because not only women are unloyal, but there's monsters like the ones in this thread who have no problems seducing married women. As if it's actually okay and try to justify it like if it's not their fault.

>>17691252
That's because you're not confident enough as a man and likely don't have life experience. Shit's gonna happen whether you like it or not, how you deal with it is your choice.

>>17690545
So what if he is, doesn't make it better.
You seem to be happy being used as a tool to get back at the unfaithful husband.
Careful, though if the man's unhinged/vindictive enough, he might try to murder you or something.
That aside, you'll probably face no repercussions aside from a bad rep from all the drama that is likely to follow after this all blows over.

>>17691308
So cheating is okay? Violating trust is alright?

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>>17690631
>Hearing a girl talk about her favorite Italian white wine is just a bigger turn on for me

This sentence you types is even gayer than me using a secure tripcode.

>>17690631
Someone having an affair just because her husband is benig unfaithful isn't a mature person at all - It's the opposite.

>>17691252
Men never cheat. They are never unloyal.

>>17690502
Dude, you should kill yourself

>>17691356
I didn't say it's okay.
I'm not the one cheating or being unfaithful, nor am I convincing anyone to do it. As someone who was sleeping with a married woman, I was merely a conduit for her to act as she wanted.

>>17691420
Different strokes for different folks. I will never involve myself with something like that. It's screams wrong to me.

>>17691420
Why is it that the "other man/woman" always like to minimize their role in an affair?

"I was just doing what she initiated!"

"If it wasn't me, she'd be with someone else!"

>>17691430
Because that's reality.

>>17691434
It doesn't make it right.
Your actions enable shit behavior and put the jilted spouse at risk.

>>17691441
No, their crappy relationship enables shit behaviour.

>>17691441
>muh morals

ok, man. why do you give a shit so much? let cheaters cheat. i hope your bf/gf cheats on you.

>>17691453
I hope you have a miserable unhappy life that only affects you as a consequence for your actions.

>>17691453
Because it's a violation of trust, man. Why SHOULDN'T you give a shit?

>>17691464
i already have a boring existence. i cope my clubbing every weekend, fucking girls (single or taken, doesnt matter), and living off of my inheritance

nearly everyone cheats, so stop being naive

>>17691467
That's a bad thing and a sign of a horrible degenerate society.
Everyone else doing it doesn't make it right.

>>17691466
i dont trust anyone. i just manipulate people than making actual relationships. i probably have like 1 actual friend, the rest are people i fuck over, literally and/or metaphorically

>>17691473
humanity is inherently flawed. and here we go again:
>muh morals

sometimes i wonder what it's like to be empathetic, but then i realize it's probably worse to deal with mental gymnastics for the rest of your life

>>17690565
Lel, i like that

>>17691481
You're the one with the mental gymnastics.

>"As someone who was sleeping with a married woman, I was merely a conduit for her to act as she wanted."

>"No, their crappy relationship enables shit behaviour."

>>17691492
no, i literally dont care about the women i fuck or their problems. as long as i get pleasure, im good

>>17691494
Typical sociopath.

Honestly, this world is fucked, humans are fucked, life sucks. The only thing you can really do that matters is what makes you happy. Fucking a married woman doesn't compare you to a murderer. Goddamn it's feeling like a fucking church rally in this bitch. Make sure you don't die, only real fucking rule in life. Everything else, time will eventually take care of.

>>17691502
typical empath

what's your point, anyway? why should i care about anyone or their problem? you sound like a fucking loser if you do

>>17691475
I am so sorry that you have no purpose. I hope you find something to give yourself real meaning because clubbing and bars are hollow.

>>17691467
It's not naive to be honorable and honest. It's the refuge of a strong mind.

>>17691467
I hope you find purpose because what you're doing is wasting your inborn potential.

>>17691506
pretty much this

>>17691507
To care is to altruistic and altruism is the key to the human experience. We're all on this rock together, we may be different, but we are all human. We have to work together to succeed and survive.

>>17691570
>to be altruistic.

It's crazy to think about.. But, imagine how many wives are cheating on their hard working husbands right now.

I know I've fucked a few married women before, and I'm sure if the man knew, that relationship would be over.

>>17691506
I have to disagree with this. To live, to really live, is to have purpose. You cannot escape reality but you can make your life and the lives of the people who care for better. No amount of money or sex can change that. Real human relationships, real friendships, real love, those are what bring lasting happiness and a fulfilling life.

>>17691506
Find the peace and the power within yourself to make yourself great. You are human, you have more potential and power than you think.

>>17690502
>Has anybody had an affair?
yeah, was about 2 years ago. i was 20, she was 40.

>good things
the sex and intimacy is great. i was infatuated with the women who i was having an affair with so you know, any time spent with her was great to me.

>bad things
you could potentially get feelings for her which makes things difficult for obvious reason. you could destroy a family. husband might try and kill you.

>whats gonna happen in the future
depends on how you handle it and the people involved. you might fuck her for a little while, get bored, end it with her and she will move on to someone else. you might get feelings for her. you might start feeling guilty too.

I didnt give a fuck about the women husband because he was abusive towards her. he has been to court for beating her. she was coming to me for comfort. i thought i could convince her to leave. She was stupid and thought she could "heal" him. being a stupid 20 year old man child i got pissed off with her and told her husband what was going on in an attempt to break them up. At first he didnt believe me and after a day or so he tried threatening me. I got pissed of with him and basically said its own fault for being abusive towards. we argued a bit. he stopped texting, i found out a few weeks later that he blocked my number. dont know if he actually believe me. i told him things about his family, life etc that where impossible to know with out being close to his wife but i dont know really. i never should of got sexually involved with her. never should of told her husband. i dont recommend having an affair op. get a fuck buddy if you want sex or a gf.

>>17691586
Our own society has brought this upon us. It's time to change.

>>17691586
Invest in home surveillance and get a paternity test for all your kids to reduce the chances of being screwd over by adultery.

>>17691586
based on my experiences with married women nearly all will cheat at some point. Doesn't mean they want to end the relationship but the right opportunity they'll do it. Women are much more secretive but it's made easier since most men's ego won't allow them to suspect their wife is fucking someone else. Hell, I was with one woman straddle her with my dick between her tits, her phone rang and she talked to her husband calmly and talked about some issue with one of the kids, she hangs up and we go back at it without a word.

>>17691665
this is so fucked up.

>>17691667
But accurate, I had a GF for 3 years, and we had great sex, got along fine, a borderline perfect relationship.

And, I found out she was cheating on me the entire time. And, then she was surprised when I wanted to break up LOL!

>>17691671
what was her reason for cheating?

kind of afraid i would end up killing a girl if she did this to me.

>>17691680
No reason. Just young and dumb, she said it was all a big mistake, and she was so stupid, and yadda yadda. 'cause our life was just about to be getting serious as far as engagement and shit. We were looking to buy a new home together and shit, when I got a wild hair up my ass and got into her online accounts.

Completely under my radar for years, these bitches are so fucking sneaky.

>>17691667
it was fucked up and I was wanting to say something but was flat ass dumbfounded and didn't. A different one I was fucking a married coworker after we closed the place of business and I hear someone knocking on the front door and start to look. She told me to stay there and not to say anything because it was her husband that came to pick her up from work. This cunt was fucking me knowing her husband was her ride home. She pulled up her pants, wiped off her mouth, grabbed her purse and left with him.

>be getting with married girl
>at her and her man's house
>he's at work
>she's getting me drunk off his gin
>we're fooling around
>I'm drunk as fuck
>she suddenly freaks out
>says her husband is about to be home soon and I have got to go

My first experience driving drunk. Would not recommend.

>>17691690
she must of been aware of what she was doing. i dont understand how people can do this to the person they love. how old was she?

I'm so thankful my dad always taught me, since my teenage years, to never get attached to anyone and to live on my own.

>>17691708
She was 18, I was 20, highschool sweet heart.

>>17691698
They must get off thinking about her husband being a fool or something, it's the only answer. Jesus Christ.

>>17691709
Do you still have consensual sex with women? Asexual, incel? What's your story?

>>17691722
Sometimes, with women I know I'd never have a relationship with (I live in South America and girls are pretty easy). I live on my own in a small apartment.

>>17691708
This one was 26 or 27 at the time and hell yes she knew what she was doing. The first time we had sex of any kind she came over and kissed me, expertly unzipped and pulled my dick out bent over and sucked my dick till I blew in her mouth. She said she liked me but was on her period and next time we can fuck. It was fucking crazy and I knew she was married and had two little kids.

>>17691720
Sometimes that was it but sometimes they were just horny and had a crush on me and being married wasn't going to stop it if they knew they wouldn't be caught. It's really easy for them to drop their pants or pull up their skirt for a quick fuck and no one the wiser. Sometimes they were angry at their husband sometimes wanted some attention but again women get hot for dick just like men get hot for that new ass they work with.