Do you have to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about things you

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lol imho you don't have to tell her that. experimenting like that is probably healthy anyway.

imagine my situation.. a little over a yr ago i had a fairly serious period of mental illness. i had to go to hospital for a bit and take meds for a while. i am basically100% it will never happen again and will spot it before it even get that bad again but that shit still happened. i feel like i will orbably have to tell her one day. my darkest secret.. feels bad man

>>17690218
>Do you have to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about things you did before you started dating.
You don't HAVE to do shit but if you want to have any chance of a functional relationship, there is no way around it. You'll feel better since you have no silly secret to keep. She will feel better due you trusting her, besides it'd gives her a bigger basis to assess you (no pun). If her homophobia is stronger than her feelings for you, well it's better for both of you to stop wasting time and quit it.

>>17690218
No. It's the present that matters.
Our eyes weren't made for looking back. That's why they're on the front of your head. Unchain yourself from the past.

I developed an attraction with mutual acquaintance girl in my social circle. In the beginning we didn't really hit it off and I got busy with life. One time I was able to make it out, I overheard from another girl about vacation antics. Sure it may be fun and all when single to make hoe comments but taken seriously after that? Nah but noted.

Me and the first girl eventually cross paths again and hit it off. When this other girl would show up, I'd be reminded of the stuff I overheard previously. To the point I'd start taking the gf less seriously and eventually ended it. Much happier

>>17690218
Unless you are a current participant in the gay scene I would take that to your grave. However when you say confused kid what the hell does that mean? Were you mentally/emotionally sick and acting out or attracted to men and trying to suppress it?

Now, another anon mentioned mental health issues. That is different if you plan to have children she has the right to know.

>>17690218
>I'm not even bi
naw OP you are. For the rest of your life the top sexual experience you will remember vividly is your homosexual experience. Every one with women the same ole fuzzy shit. Come on out of the closet it's ok these days.

Funny Im in the same situation but Im not in a relationship currently, doesnt really haunt me tho I mean kids do stupid shit, sexually experimenting is one of them. Try to just let it go, if it doesnt bother you bury it however if it is youll need to come to terms with it. Maybe tell someone whos not your gf

>>17690218

No point sharing it for sharing sake, if you're specifically asked then I would say you are somewhat obligated to tell her otherwise you're lying by omission. If it wasn't a big deal to you and won't affect the future in any way then I don't really see the point in sharing.

>>17690218
Not necessarily before you start dating, but you should look for oppertunities to share things about your past with your partner.

Like, I was raped when I was a little girl, but I don't automatically give that disclaimer as soon as a boy is interested in me. I wait until I think I am comfortable enough and the time/situation is correct, and then I share that information.

In your case, I think you should prod a little. Next time she says something really homophobic; maybe ask more about her opinion on it. Why does she think it is wrong? What would she do it the had a homosexual child? Does she think that experimenting is just as bad? Does she believe that gay people can earn forgiveness if they accept Jesus? Obviously ask these questions in a conversational, non awkward way- but just explore her mind and see if there is a way for you to tell her that she maybe will be able to understand and not judge you for

>>17690683

This is good advice, I think in a relationship morals and values need to align pretty well for things to work, if she is seriously homophobic and not just in the "eww that's gross" way then I would question what else you guys don't agree on. I know it would annoy me to not agree on some controversial topics with my life partner.

>>17690218
You don't have to do anything, but think of it like this. You guys get married and then one way or another some of this shit comes out, it's a deal breaker for her. Now you guys have to go through a divorce and she finds out she has wasted x number of years of her life with someone who wasn't truly someone she wanted to be with. That's fucked up.

Tell her and just hope she'll be understanding.

Besides, you're not gay and didn't enjoy sucking dick, so it shouldn't bother her too much compared to a situation where you're sucking dicks on the way home from work.

I mean think about it, if you married a woman and then later found out she had fucked your dad, would you really want to stay with her? Wouldn't you feel like part of your life has been wasted?

>>17690218

not really. your past is your past.

>>17690321
This.

You don't have to do anything, but good telationships are built on honesty and trust.

>>17690547
Most guys going through puberty experiment like that. It's actually quite normal.

>>17691007
No it isn't. Normal for women who tend to be sexually more fluid then men. Men typically are what they are and stick to it.

OP you're a fag. Go find a nice dick to slobber on.

>>17691014
Everything about your post is just wrong.

Maybe you should actually go look this topic up instead of just talking out of your ass.

Never tell her that, she will not look at you the same way and everything will change. She will think about it, want more detail, make reference to it, and if you break up with her, she can use it to fuck with your contacts...

I told my gf that, and when i broke up with her, i saw how much she was a psycho.
It's your past, you don't have to share it, it is yours, just learn from it for the future.

>>17691037
>>17691007
No, it's not normal. Most guys don't do that

My husband tried it, found out he was straight, moved on. I don't think less of him for it.

Normally I'd suggest to come clean before they find out on their own (which inevitably makes it worse) If she's very homophobic, though? Yeah, that could be real bad. Is there any chance of her finding out on her own?

>>17691244
there is no way OP's girl will ever know unless he tells. keep his mouth shut unless he is fearful he may want to fuck a man again

>>17690335
I think OP shouldn't tell her unless it comes up(even then it's up to him) but people are all of the things they continually do for the most part. You have to look in the past to predict the future.

>>17691230
>completely talking out of your ass

Seriously, you could take two seconds to plug in into google instead of talking about shit you have no clue about. But don't take my word for it.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447861/

I'm in the same boat OP. I had a series of flings with men, but everyone is confused as they grow up.

How do you know you dislike something without having tried it? It's the same thing.

But I'd never tell my girlfriend, I don't think she'd understand or look at me the same way.

Past is the past OP.

Dude, don't you ever give any woman that kind of amo!

>>17691567
>but everyone is confused as they grow up
Everyone as kids may be confused about a lot of shit but not everyone is confused about wanting a dick so stop speaking for every male. If you liked dick fine but it has never crossed my mind and a lot of other men would tell you the same.

>>17691643
So you've never looked at a dick as a kid and wanted to try sucking it? I call bullshit.

Guaranteed, every guy has sucked a dick in their life. As a minimum.

>very homophobic

You should be dumping her. Any person who is very homophobic is toxic, either by lack of intelligence or empathy.

But for your everyday sane individual, i wouldn't divulge either unless specifically asked.

But seriously, dump that loser you're dating.

>>17691014
>Normal for women who tend to be sexually more fluid then men.

The ignorance of this is overwhelming. Do you have any concept of how gay men vs gay women are treated in America? ffs are you even in highschool yet?

>>17691479
>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447861/

Not him and I get what the article is saying, but I all I know is I say WAY more late teen and early twenty-something girls identifying as bi/pan/omnisexual than I do guys. It really is a meme for them.

>>17691790

It's always the worst girls that identify that way though. No loss.

I feel bad discriminating, but if a girl tells me she is Bi, I assume she is a slut and that she uses drugs just because so many bi girls are sluts and use drugs

>>17691753
Nah, that's not true. Not even homophobic, just never wanted another dude's dick in my mouth. That doesn't mean I haven't had guys suck me off, I just don't reciprocate. I live in a very conservative area in the south, it's amazing how many guys will anonymously just want to swallow your load.

>>17691790
Your anecdotal observations mean nothing.

>>17691819
>I assume she is a slut and that she uses drugs just because so many bi girls are sluts
Because you're ignorant. Good thing you have time to learn how fucked up your sense of morality is.

>>17691753
I've never sucked a dick. My neighbor and i hot dogged our dicks into each other's butt cheaks when we were younger, but never sucked a dick.

I spent 3 years in prison for selling drugs, been in a relationship now for a little over a year and im always worried she will find out

>>17691834
That anon is just a fag trying to convince himself he's straight.

>>17691753
No. Im 27 and ive never sucked a dick. Dont project your homosexual desires onto the rest of us you faggot.

>>17691753
Not even once.

>>17691007
No its not. You're a faggot.

Guys who say they aren't even slightly attracted to cock are so deep in the closet

>>17691916
Please see >>17691479 to understand that you're retarded.

>telling people secrets that otherwise have no direct effect on them

What's the point? Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to be an open book.

I've got a ton of secrets that I'd never tell my family even. Some stuff you just take with you to the grave.

>>17692055
When you are in a relationship, are you looking at the future at all? You have a history, they have a history, you share it to be open and build trust, comfort and compatibility. Otherwise how will you ever truly feel like you know someone? To be so high and mighty about your past like you are suggesting is narcissistic and selfish. You might as well never think about a relationship seriously.

>>17692102
The problem is most people don't really have very good relationships.

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OP, honestly, unless it is eating away at you to tell her, don't.


>>17690554
You're gay. A gay woman would never say something as bold faced as this. Let people figure their shit out without out putting this smear on them. You are imposing your own sexual fantasies/desires in a way that appears like you are looking out for another individuals best interests. People like you deserve to burn in hell. Sexual experimentation is normal. You are manipulating in a sinister fashion. The motivation driving this behavior (but less blatant) preys on the mindset stemmed from the judeo christian (bullshit btw) postulate that gay is wrong, what this person did is wrong (but maybe gratifying), and that a person can't be independent of this line of reasoning. You are forcing someone to adhere to 1: I am straight or 2: I am gay.

Bc you are 2, you aren't motivated to see the actual and very real grey area between 1 and 2. What differs between malicious gay pressuring like this and benevolent gay acceptance is that there is a unbiased, non judgmental observation, if a individual decides to bring it up.

I had a close gay friend. Had. Went to gay bars with this guy. You cannot fathom the number of gay men who told me I was gay just for being at a gay bar. They were confidant beyond a shadow of doubt. They didn't know me at all. They were also intoxicated. But this is a mentality that is poison. Gay men and straight men share a hella lot in common in that that broadly categorize people. Straight and gay men are lightning fast to judge others on sexuality. Except gay men don't care much about lesbians.

Gay men are better at playing mind games. Sex is a sexual adventure. You are playing on the assumption people have to be one way or the other. You are whats wrong with the male gay community.

OP, follow your penis **cough** **cough** heart. It will lead the way. Black out what anyone/everyone else has to say. Concerning your sexuality, YOU are the only one that matters.