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I'm not sure what to do about this situation. There's a new student who's transferred into my (fairly small) senior class in high school, and said student is, at least biologically speaking, a girl. I'll use the placeholder name "Q". Anyway, Q prefers the short form of the name legally belonging thereto. One day, toward the end of the day, I ask:
>Hey, Q, just out of curiosity, why do you prefer the short form of your name?
And Q says:
>'Cause it's gender-neutral.
And I go with that for the time being. But the next day I go up to Q and ask:
>Hey, you know yesterday, when you said you prefer the short form of "Q" because it's gender-neutral?
>Yeah...
>Well, I was just sort of wondering, y'know, why a gender neutral form?
>Well, I don't being called by the feminine form, and I've pretty much given up on getting people to address me by the masculine form.
And I say
>Wait, so does that mean you'd prefer to be addressed by the masculine form?
>Yeah, but everyone seems to get upset or offended at the idea.
>You know, Teacher Such-and-such is very tolerant, as is the administration here in general; you really ought to tell him.
>Nah, it's fine.
Later when I said
>You seriously should talk to Mr. Such-and-such about, y'know...
>Oh, forget about it.
I feel like I ought to do something to help him, because I know that being constantly misgendered can't be pleasant, but I really have no clue what to do. I should note that he seems to be kind of out of it in general, doing things like not participating or only barely participating in gym class. I'm also quite confident in my assessment of Mr. Such-and-such as being tolerant, such as that I think he would feel sorry for misgendering Q if he knew he was doing it.
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You could mention it to the teacher but Q might see it as interfering. Q probably has his hands full figuring himself out. Probably the most you can do is try to be a friend to him.
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>>17689075
>I feel like I ought to do something to help him,
Don't. Don't butt in. It's his problem, and he is dealing with it in his own way. When he is ready, he'll talk it out and demand to be treated as he really wants.
Right now, let him work it by himself.
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>>17689075
Offer to talk to Mr. Such-and-such after you get to know the guy/girl better but don't do shit on your own. It's cool that you want to help but butting in if it's not asked would be overstepping the boundaries.
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>>17689083
>>17689096
>>17689120
I guess that's the best course of action. The only other issue I have, I guess, for the time being, is that I'm not sure how to talk about him, because using male pronouns would be tantamount to telling other people, but I don't really feel like I can in good conscience go on misgendering him by using female pronouns now that I know how he feels. What should I do, refuse to talk about him except in Japanese?
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>>17689306
You can usually avoid that by using the name or something like "my friend". Sometimes you'd need to formulate sentences completely different but it's doable.
It's pretty awesome that you take the effort to consider all this shit, society would be so much better off if more people would be like that.
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>>17689342
Aw, thanks. I really don't think I'm doing that much.
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