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Undergrad CS major and I can't help but be overcome with intense rage every time I mess up a calculation or take longer than what I think is a reasonable time frame to write a program in (for example, taking longer than an hour to finish any program typically ends in mild self harm once it's working).
Every time I learn something that's not syntax I'm mad because I didn't figure it out myself, for example how the volume of a sphere is computed and how the binomial theorem is proved by induction.
I feel like I'm never going to make it doing anything but flipping burgers given how fucking incompetent I prove myself to be on a daily basis. Understanding is not enough, if I didn't discover it myself I'm not worthy of utilizing it and I have more proof that I'm worthless and unintelligent.
CS doesn't feel fun anymore. All I feel is rage at myself and I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. I also don't eat on a regular basis.
Is there a cure for this?
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git gud, then you won't be as mad
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>>17683457
That's what I'm trying to do, but I feel like I'll have gotten good on fraudulent means.
Like, what is the point of knowing calculus if I couldn't derive all of it myself? I was too dumb to not need a teacher or book to figure it out, so who cares if I can use it properly if I had to learn it first and didn't discover it?
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>>17683466
Most of the guys who discovered such things didn't do so within the course of a semester, and had prior knowledge to build on. don't be such a daft cunt.
i actually think the guy who invented calculus did so within the modern semesters' time, but he was a genius. you're not, so work harder
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>>17683479
I already am working hard enough that I don't sleep.
And if geniuses exist, what's the point of my work if I'll never do anything as meaningful with my skillset? I'll never be good enough to create great things if I'm not a genius and I know I'm not, as anything I create, a genius would have done a better job creating and probably would have created it before me. The existence of geniuses renders me, as a non-genius, obsolete, along with anything I will ever create. So I might as well be dead because I'm not getting any joy out of improving myself and those improvements will never be meaningful to anyone else.
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>>17683501
implode, or work harder
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>>17683437
Have a good night's sleep and eat on a regular basis. Your body is shutting down because it's not getting enough fuel, and that's making you stupid in addition to making you more irritable.
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>>17683693
Probably a fair point, but isn't it natural that once I get into really high level courses I won't get sleep anyway?
Isn't it better that I learn to work off of no fuel than waste time on something like sleeping? The time I spend sleeping I could be spending studying. I'm also going to break up with my current girlfriend so that I can practice programming more, I'm acing my classes but if I don't finish in a fraction of the time everyone else takes to write a program I don't get any satisfaction and just feel like shit the rest of the day.
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>>17683706
No you need to rest or you won't function 100% which is your goal correct?
You sound autistic as fuck dude. Chill out.
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