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my life is fucked i up, i dont even want to type this, just feel bad for it
>papa is 75, stays home all day and asks everything whenever i leave home
>literally gave up on leaving the house because of that and been neeting since completed high school (its almost 2 years locked in my room already)
>family found out i fap to traps
>been forced to a psychiatrist for slapping mom and saying i'd kill everybody, the shrink """"diagnosed""" (big quotes) me with depression and psychosis, and now half the family is suspicious of everything i say, when i say something they ask it again like it was nonsense or hallucination,,, and overall talk to me with pity and condescension
>i actually developed depression because of being treated like that, and because of hikking up
>oldest brother (i have 4 siblings) is a drug addict and some months ago i was literally about to freak out for being locked to my room while hell was happening at the house. happily he will be 9 months out for rehab, again
>every room is locked because of him
>now feeling physical pain of depression 24/7 nonstop since some months
>mental condition is getting real bad lately, losing mental capacity
Sometimes i think of completely quitting imageboards and computer abuse and study real hard to get a gov job. But then my brother comes to give the shrink meds and i remember how fucked i am because of that. And also cause i would get the job, come home and be forced to stay on my room for the rest of the day like a rat, like it was during school.
I also fear women and am not sure of my sexuality and wouldnt be able to get a normal relationship. Thats also one of the reasons i decided to give up on society and neet up forever after i done high school
Damn i'm just fucked up.
I guess studying to get a job and be a rat forever is better than keep staying on my room, worsening mental condition, shrink tightening up because of that and become a complete vegetable on meds like my schizophrenic sister
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im also dumb and my thoughts are undeveloped
today i just live waiting for schizophrenia to kick in or for them to start forcing to take the meds in front of them
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So are you just blogging or what?
What do you want advice on?
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>>17682987
i guess so
anything
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>>17682941
I think you need to just go out and have some experiences away from your family.
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Get that job and leave the house, go live your own life.
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even posting here is an effort
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>>17682941
I know this sounds fucked up. Move out. yes you can do it on your own. Get a job or Find a new job so your parents can't track and change your number. That's it. Or put life insurance on your father since his 70 something
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>>17682941
Nothing will change without your direct action Anon.
You are fucked up, that's for sure - but it's not entirely your fault. You can change for the better, but it's going to fucking suck just as much or more than what you are doing now before it gets any better.
You haven't even given yourself a chance to fail, and if you let yourself die without ever trying you'll hate your last moments that much more.
Chin up, pick something (preferably gainful employment) and have a go cunt. Your overarching goal at the moment should be to get the fuck out of the place you are living in and get some independence.
Good luck.
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Bumping for OP
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I'm sorry to hear all that, OP. That is fucked up and I don't know that I can help you much.
>asks everything whenever i leave home
What does this mean? If he asks you retarded questions either ignore him or say it doesn't matter.
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>>17682941
You did all the wrong flags, now it's time to reboot the route.
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>>17683458
no, please no
>>17683358
where i'm going, who ill be with, what we'll do, when i'll come back etc etc
he is very pragmatic and you have to answer it all
>>17683058
>>17683051
Whats to be done is focus on getting employed and get a place for my own?
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>>17682941
M8 get a job, move out & tell your family to go fuck themselves. Work on improving yourself every day. Don't let others get you down.
Good luck
Thread posts: 14
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