The long and short of this is my husband woke me up this morning

Sit down with your husband and have a proper conversation with him. Express your concerns about his family influencing his decisions, and then find out what his own issues are about your father.

Sounds like you guys have barely spoken about it. You need to.

>>17681223
What was his step mom saying about you and why does your husband have a problem with your relationship with your father?

>>17681223
How old are you op?
Maybe you are both too young for marriage

>>17681226
We have at length. He claims that my father "traumatized" him because they raised their voices at one other more than a year ago. He then put extreme limits on when I could and could not see my dad, and got angry even when I kept to the limits. He basically just wants me to cut them out of my life entirely.

There was an incident very recently where my parents came over to try and talk to him. My dad even wanted to apologize. He stood in the bathtub facing the wall and would not look at me. I got the silent treatment the rest of the day.

>>17681237
your fault for marrying a child

>>17681233
I am 21, he is 22. Bear in mind we live in a rural area where people normally have kids by this age.

>>17681229
I answered about my dad in another post, but the step mother was very nice until recently. She started all this behind my back and then escalated to facebook posts. She says it's because she dislikes that I am self employed, but she has a reputation of starting shit and has also alienated my husbands sisters.

he is a child. And if he gets so emotional about "raising voice" it will get worse about other bullshit .. how can people even think, that someone would cut ouzt family for such childish reasons?
Divorce this guy, you dont want to have children with a child.

You didn't marry him, you married his step mother, and good riddance. This is why you should never marry someone who is controlled by their parents.

>>17681281
His step mother only married his father this past june.

>>17681285
Maybe, but she has total control over him. Try to be reasonable and argue with him. He has no right to limit your contact with your father (or anyone else for that matter).

>>17681288
Where would I even start arguing with him? I feel like the only way to make any progress would be if he left his dad's place and she couldn't whisper more bull shit to him. I don't want a divorce. I don't want to throw the marriage away for this stupid, childish reason.

>>17681237
Yeah your husband is autistic. Sorry. Also, by the sounds of things you just want a good marriage. You don't actually like him as a person

>>17681237
What did they argue about?

>>17681558
That's a good start. If you're his wife, he should live with you, not his dad. He does sound like a huge sulky child though, so only fight for this marriage if you really love him and willing to put the time and energy into raising him.

>>17681223

This is going to be hard to hear I'm sure but you married an absolute child, and if you cutting out your family is more important to him than being with you then tell him to go fuck himself and move on. It doesn't matter that his relationship with your dad isn't the best, it has nothing to do with you and your relationships.

Honestly made me a little angry reading this, people deserve better than they're given.

>>17681568
At the time we were living in my dads old house that he was planning on selling to us. Due to a couple reasons, my parents wanted my disabled brother to move into the basement. We both said no, and my husband and I basically got out in under 48 hours. During the move out, him and my dad started arguing. He told my dad that he would help him make the house fit to sell or contribute financially. My dad tried to take my husbands keys, then his step mother (then his dads girlfriend) called the police and nearly assaulted my father.

A few weeks after, my dad went to my husbands work to ask him for the money. Something happened, my dad and my husband tell two different stories, and my husband had my dad banned from the store and tried to have him arrested. I had offered to pay the money to my dad myself, but he refused because I hadn't initially offered it.

Ever since then, I have had to skirt around my husbands rules and deal with constant stonewalling, mean comments, and now this. My father has tried to apologize several times, and my husband refuses.

>>17681649
Sorry to say this, but what you have there can't be called a marriage.

>>17681649

If you meet someone else, anyone else, you will realise how shitty you had it. You're young and have the rest of your life ahead of you, don't chain yourself down to a child, it would be one thing if you were the one making the decision but this guy actually want to divorce YOU, just let him have his way, you guys won't last the distance with his behaviour, you're just saving yourself future heartbreak with the possibility of kids in the mix.

First of all too young.
You don't have kids? Then let this divorce go through.
The relationships cannot be repaired. Let me tell you I am 30 and have 2 young kids and do not like my spouses mother. She is verbally abusive to both of us and a stingy lawyer bitch who before our marriage cheated me out of thousands of dollars and then called me nonstop and threatened to sue me (for what? Who knows...) when i got into a fight and kicked her son out of my apartment.

I have found honestly this to be a horrible sticking point in the marriage esp since we have had kids. I do not like her around my kids after the way she treated me and continues to treat her only son. I just can't stand her.
I have asked my husband to cut her out of his life and he always says yes but cannot follow through. It becomes a huge source of tension whenever she wants to visit. She said some really unacceptable things to and about me a few months ago and I told him she isnt coming for any holidays. We will see how psycho dramatic it gets the next few months.

Unless you both elope, you are marrying into a family. That is why most people "meet the parents"
If things are so bad the marriage will have a lot of trouble working.

You are young enough to learn from this and start over.

>>17681679
Exactly.
Get some alimony and find someone new