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So I think, honestly, I have some form of undiagnosed autism. No memes, no lies.
First of all, I have plenty of friends and can fake interpersonal interactions quite well, but inside, I'm screaming.
Secondly, and biggest of all, I am hypersensitive to certain sensory stimuli. Certain touches make me cringe physically. The sun is always, ALWAYS too bright. And finally, the sounds.
There are some sounds that make me literally cry. There is a drop in my stomach, and my heart starts to beat rapidly. If the noise continues for more than a few seconds, it turns to rage and anger, and then panic and anxiety.
The noises are usually thumping noises or crunching noises. If I ever hear a door shut in another room or someone walking upstairs, I think I might literally be dying. I can only compare it to severe, severe anxiety. Tears start to flow, m chest tightens, and I can't be around anyone, or I might actually do something I regret. Obviously, this is a problem.
Also, crunching. Eating chips? Horrible. Crunching ice? Horrible. When it snows, I can't even go outside and enjoy it because the footsteps in the snow send me into a panic.
I see a therapist for depression and general anxiety, but both that I've seen don't seem to pay it any mind.
I can't take it any more. I made this thread because I was laying on my bed, playing my Nintendo DS, and upstairs, there were three footsteps. Just three. I got in such a manic rage that I started crying and convulsed, breaking one of the hinges on the DS. Fuck.
What do I do? I am terrified that the only answer is exposure therapy because I cannot handle that.
Is it autism? Sensory processing disorder? Misophonia?
Please help.
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Diagnosis : Depression
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Are you taking ADHD meds or sometimes not always leading a clean lifestyle?
No dig at you but that's good description of how feel when recovering from a long night.
Possible differential diagnosis: coming down
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>>17681168
I don't drink or smoke or do any drugs if that's what you mean.
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>>17681131
Have you mentioned this explicitly to your professionals though.
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>>17681131
Are you me OP? I feel exactly like this, i dont cry. But i get tears alot. I hate loud noises and i ALWAYS stress with the smallest thing. please reply brother,
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>>17682130
bump
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>>17681131
you can't 'fake' interpersonal interactions. you're just deciding on how to best react. unless you're just doing blatant lies, you aren't faking anything. and if its blatant lies, just stop lying and /b/ yourself.
sounds like you have something entirely different if what oyu say about sound is true, go see a doc
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>>17682112
I have. They say that it's probably a side effect of the depression, but I feel like it's probably different, or rather, the depression is a side effect of the noise sensitivity.
>>17682130
I don't know man, but it sucks. The earliest I remember dealing with this was I could never be around my dad - my own father - because of some of the little, non-intrusive noises he'd make. Lip smacking, food crunching, little things that no one else seemed to even notice, but I'd go to my room from an age as early as five, and cry my eyes out, punch and scream into my pillow, praying to God for some relief or to make him stop or something.
The sad part is, my dad, when he was in the military, had to have some sort of emergency surgery on his jaw and tongue and that is why he smacks/crunches so loud. He literally can't help it, but I can't help these reactions either. That's just a small part of it though.
The thumping REALLY bothers me. When I was still at home, the neighborhood kids across the street would play basketball. The constant thump, thump, thumping of the balls over 150 feet away were enough to make me scream.
I wish I knew what was going wrong for the both of us Anon, but I really have no idea.
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