Thread replies: 12
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: debt slavery.jpg (149KB, 640x725px) Image search:
[Google]
149KB, 640x725px
I just got finished writing a suicide note. I'm not sure if I'm going to go through with it or not. I don't really know what to do with the note, in the event that I don't go through with it.
Should I burn it? Has anyone ever tried this? Does it make you feel any better? It feels like it would be symbolic, but I think it would feel pretty empty and wouldn't do much.
I would like to get better, but I'm having a hard time with it. I've recently lost a lot of friends, and since I spend most of my time in my apartment for work reasons, I don't get out much.
>inb4 get a therapist
I really don't have enough money to afford a therapist, without taking on debt. I don't have insurance, either. Things are kinda rough right now. My nearest family is about 300 miles away, which also gets kind of tough. I'm at a loss, and I'm only 20. I've been living alone for 3 years, and I'm starting to hit what feels like a wall. I can't afford to take time off work and take classes, but I don't have a lot of opportunities for better work without getting an education.
I've been poor all my life, though, so that's not really what's bothering me. What's bothering me is the emptiness I feel about everything, the way I look at the life around me and it doesn't even spark anything. I feel cold most of the time. When I do go out, I try to be cheerful, friendly, smile to other people, but on the inside I don't really care, I just wish I was dead or asleep most of the time.
I'm not sure where to go, or what to do. I tried LSD once, and that made me feel better for a few months, but that was a long time ago and I wasn't in nearly the same emotional depths I've been feeling recently. I'm too scared that I'd hurt myself to try that route again. If anyone has any advice, I welcome it.
>>
Mine from years ago is in some junk folder on my computer somewhere, forgot about it until this thread showed up. It's not a symbolic thing that I thought burning it would help, it's just another lost word doc.
>>
File: i got hte spaghetti.png (108KB, 300x300px) Image search:
[Google]
108KB, 300x300px
yeah burn it. anyone who reads it will be very sad. or you could throw it away, it will go into the garbage.
anyway cheer up man, when I get sad I like to rip my pubic hairs out with duct tape. Really gets me going, man! Yeah!
>>
Well first off don't kill yourself. You're super young (probably sucks to hear but whatevs, you are) life can really suck a lot until you find your way. But it gets better. Bite the bullet and go to school if it's what you'd like to do, college isn't a must. If not move to where you have good job prospects.
>>
>>17680528
>>17680523
maybe i will burn it, sometime.
also, my pubic hairs are actually shaved, haha. idk why i do it, but i enjoy it that way.
>>17680531
yeah, i guess. but idk, i'm just scraping by where i'm at. I live in a really rural area, but i have good internet which is important for my job. the problem with places that have good job prospects is they're usually more expensive to live in, and without any money saved idk how I could afford a deposit on a new appartment or anything like that.
>>
Listen man. Life is so valuable. You may not think it now but just think of what could lay ahead and that you'll never know if you end it. It sounds crazy but if you have an Xbox or a PlayStation get online and meet some people online to play with. Even friends over a mic can help you through tough times man. Visit the friends you do have, enjoy your time with them. Life is so precious, you were put here for a reason and that reason is great. I know it is. You are going to succeed through this and find your reason. I have faith in you. Keep on pushing. For me. For your family. For everyone.
>>
>>17680548
haha i wish i could afford an xbox, best i can really do is draw an x on a cardboard box and kick it around my studio
>>
You have Internet and a device to post on, there are plenty of online games you can access and meet so many new people. But the point is, the more you talk to people and the
More trustful bonds you make, you'll feel so much more secure and want to be able to live for them. The present may be bleak but the future is gleaming my friend.
>>
>>17680531
>bite the bullet
>>
>>17680508
Literally me, but I have a computer
I don't care about people, I'm fairly social but secretly despise any sort of social interaction, I'm a 20 kissless virgin and yet I feel like I've already done everything that life could offer to me.
HOWEVER, they are indeed a few things that keeps me alive, even though I feel like I'm literally dying of boredom every day, maybe this won't apply to you but it might inspire you.
1-the burden on my family, having your son kill yourself is literally the most painful thing a parent could experience.
2-i want to repay my family at some point, they've been working all their life and I want to be able to make them live comfortable.
3-Internet, I got most of my stimulus from here, let it be games, social interaction or divertissement in general, try to get invested in something here.
4-food, I've started to get a liking to cooking now, and eating good food really makes you want to eat more as soon as your stomach is empty.
5-sleeping/dreaming, sleeping a lot is really important to feel better, I tend to really appreciate the dreams/nightmare I have here.
If all of these don't work, you can always try physical stimulus, like sport to increase your energy overall, or just energy drinks (IE highly sugar concentrated coffee or black tea) which would help you have more energy and overcome the boredom.
Concerning your letter, I suggest you to post here, but this is purely because I'm curious about what a suicide letter looks like, and otherwise it could help me understand what's backing you down.
>>
>>17681541
Ah and also music, I spend a good 6hoirs a day listening to music
>>
Keep hanging on man
Thread posts: 12
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2