Is there any way to get out of the best friend zone? She's

>>17679015

Recognize that she is a person, and as such, made up her mind.

If you really are best friends, she knows you, the real you. And she is not into him. Tough luck, wish you the best next time.

Why do you think it's impossible to start a relationship?

>>17679015

yes. it takes three steps
>become the kind of person she is attracted to
>find the vague almost magical way to make her reconsider her options with you
>create the chemistry that leads to romantic feelings.

none of these are things you can force. but thats how you'd do it if it was possible. not to say its impossible but these three things need to happen

File: image.jpg (91KB, 640x669px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 640x669px

>>17679018
Well for one she knows I leave this godforsaken state of NC in 9 months. Idk really. This picture tho pretty much sums up how it is

>>17679030

do you kiss? do you make out? do you take her out to dinner? do you take her to the movies? do you hold hands when walking down the street? do you have sex and then spend the night cuddling?

>>17679030

You are not doing EVERYTHING, else you wouldn't be complaining here, if you know what I mean.

>>17679037

This guy knows what I mean! (Look above)

>>17679037
Well the only thing I do in that is the dinner thing. And the movie thing. And we do like actually sleep together whenever she spends the night

>>17679049

>the dinner thing

do you pay? cuz if so you're a chump.

>the movie thing

do you pay? cuz if so you're a chump.

>sleep together

do you bang or do you just mean in the same bed? cuz if you mean you just sleep in the same bed, then your 'cuddle advances' are just what she puts up with so she doesn't have to sleep on a couch.

TL;DR you aren't doign allllll the relationship stuff. that meme is not for you. thats for guys who are basically fuck buddies with a girl who refuses to commit.

you are not her fuck buddy. you are not her romantic partner. you are a friend who at best pays for your outings/.

go dutch and see what happens.

>>17679051
Well we usually go Dutch. But she just recently lost her job so I paid last few times

>>17679056

okay, so outside of what you'd do for a good friend in a hard place, you dont do anything that you do in a relationship.

so how is she being confusing? how is it that you do everything that a relationship does? cuz it seems liek you do NOTHING except for maybe give her a cuddle hug when you sleep over

op here. Also we've talked every single day since June when I met her. She tells me she will die if I'm not in her life.

I'm just looking for some specific things I can do to help my chances of being with her

>>17679072

I talk to my best friend almost every single day since the day we met. i would also die if he wasn't in my life (figuratively of course).

there is nothing you can do to help your chances other than put yourself out there again, and be the best you that you can be.

anything outside of that is manipulation.

So I met my current best friend in high school. We were 14, we're both 26 now, so we've known each other for nearly half our lives, now. If it wasn't implied, I'm male and she's female.

Now at the time, I was completely at a loss when it came to girls. I had lots of girl-friends in grade school, but I moved around 7th grade and puberty wasn't kind. So, she was one of my first adolescent girl-friends. I became infatuated with her because a) she's bombshell (still is), and b) she was a girl who was genuinely pleasant to me.

Now, I had a kid crush on her, I never fell for her. But when you're young (even in college) it all feels like you're head over heels. Anyway, she was way out of my league and somewhere I made a peace with that. Though I was dissatisfied at the time, hindsight is a powerful tool. I met someone else whom I dated for 4 years, she's still dating the guy she met around the same time. Once she was no longer the only object of my affection, nurturing a long (and extremely fruitful) friendship was easy. And, a more wizened me can recognize that while we make excellent friends, we would be very incompatible as lovers. It's even something we've joked about a few times, considering we get mistaken for a couple reasonably often.

On the other hand, I tried to be friends with another girl who I actually did fall in love with, and it was too difficult. Though, that was a mutual attraction, which I'm sure complicates things a whole lot.

>>17679072

If what she says is true, she needs help. If she is lying, she is manipulating you.

Either way, it's never good to hear "I would die without you" if you have only known each other for 3-4 months.

>>17679086

anon, she was very clearly being figurative. people say 'i would die without you' to their friends all the time. id die without 4chan. your mom would die without dicks in her mouth.

why arent girls allowed to have a guy friend?

if you dont want to be a girls guy friend, stop being her guy friend.

>>17679086
I was there for her when she was in a VERY VERY rough place. I'm always there for her so I guess that's why she says that. Idk. Maybe i should just give up.

>>17679093

I'm just saying we are not talking about a long friendship here.

They barely know each other and he is going away.

She knows how he feels, and feeds his delusion. He knows how she feels, and keep going after her.

This is not a good relationship, so grandiose declaration, even figuratively, don't seem appropriate.

>>17679094
>I was there for her when she was in a VERY VERY rough place.

So she is in a difficult head space, and you still want to bone her?

He knows how you feel. Nothing happened. Take the hint.

>>17679109

dont take yourself too seriously man, no one else does. she shouldn't have to restrain the friendship just because anon caught feelings for her. is she not allowed to express what little feeligns she has for him? its not her job to sit around playing dumb and acting like they're not /that/ close.

OP has his feelings. its his job to deal with them. hes only there for a few more months, why would she even need to manipulate him at this point?

>>17679094

yes. you cant manipulate her.

>>17679015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p37_Ux1G_BI

>>17679122
>OP has his feelings. its his job to deal with them.

What? What you do is your responsibility. stringing someone along is not blameless.

Imagine I go and get mad because and employee arrived late. Then he tells me he is sad and anxious because someone close was in an accident. Is it "his problem"? Don't i have to modify my behavior for him at least a little bit?

Here's the same.

>>17679015
Meet other women.

If you have a close female friend that does not see you that way, it sucks but look at the bright side. She thinks highly of you which means you don't have to worry too much about finding a girl who will love you.

>>17679139

>stringing them along is not blameless

you dont know shes stringed him along

>they're friends
>OP confesses feelings
>girl says shes not interested but would like to be friends
>OP says yes

how is it her fault? she said this is what shes willing to do. he agreed. are you saying its her job to just not be friends with him anymore? and if not, whats the acceptable arbitrary middle ground that you put in place?

its his feelings. his job.

>>17679156

"I'd die without you" is pretty heavy stuff to drop, specially if they really worked through a rough patch in her life.

How is that not feeding his infatuation?

I'm not saying all girls that have male friends string them along. I'm saying this one does.

>>17679168

i say the same shit to my friends, my boss, my dog, and korean barbeque.

im not saying all guys are projecting, just that you are.

hes already hooked for 9 or so more months, she doesn't need to string him along. he clearly strings himself along. he thinks that just hanging out is 'DOING ALL THE STUFF IN A RELATIONSHIP'.

>>17679172

Ok, I'll take you argument for a second:

How do you know how she said "I'd die without you?" or when she did?

Because I'm sure you don't talk to your boss the same way you talk to the guy that was there for you at a low point in your life.

I'm also guessing your boss doesn't sleep in your bed and confessed having feelings for you.

How do you know your own personal life applies to hers? Aren't you projecting your values unto her?

>>17679172
Op here. I just overthink things too much I'm assuming. But it still doesn't change the fact that I can't just lose feelings for her like "poof you don't have feelings for this girl anymore"

>>17679179

>im sure you dont talk to your boss the same way you talk to the guy that was there for you at the low point in your life

my boss was there when i got into my car crash, kept me hired durign my brain damage and recovery even though i was basically just collecting a paycheck at that point. so yes, I do talk to him that way.

>im also guessing your boss doesn't sleep in your bed and confessed having feelings for you.

he has not thank god, but thats beside the point. OP was there for her. She was telling him how much that meant to him. but by your logic she should jsudt what? cut him off? or just 'tone it down' to the arbitrary degree that some internet stranger decides?

regardless, shes not here, you can't push htis on to her. if you want to tell OP that he needs to get out because of it, go ahead, i would say he shoudl get out regardless.

but you're hella projecting man.

>AND YOU'RE NOT JUST PROJECTING YOUR LIFE ON HER

no im giving her the benefit of the doubt. someone helped her. she made her feelings clear and figuratively expressed how much being there meant to her.

god forbid she be grateful to him.

>>17679181

no one says you should. but that doesn't mean you have to seek to manipulate her.

>>17679198

Well, woopdie freaking doo. I just picked the guy that saved your life? Sure, I'll believe it.

But even if I do believe it, the point is clear. Each of them is playing with fire.

Intentionally or not, she is stringing him along. They developed a close relationship in record time and the guy is still pinning after her, even if she rejected him.

She is either oblivious to a weird stalker, or oblivious to the feelings of a close friend. Or intentionally doing it.

In which universe is this relationship good?

>>17679198

And I love how I'm yelling in your recollection of the events. Nice way to quote. :)

>>17679218

>i just happened to pick the guy that saved your life?

he didn't save my life per se. my life as it is definitely, but yeah. it happened anon. I had MdDS, which is hwere my brain stem was off.

>intentionally or not

okay, so OP has a problem with his feelings, and shes unintentionally stringing him along and is a bad person for it. got it.

OR MAYBE she laid down the rules she was comfortable with. he agreed, and she assumed he is mature enough to handle that. does she even know the extent of his feelings?

we dont know if he had a big long hours long talk about how deeply he feels, or if he just asked if they should date and she said 'i think we should just be friends' and he said 'oh okay'.

my point here being that you cant just randomly blame the girl for what is OPs problem. you keep insisting she take responsibility for his feelings and reactions when shes madei t clear what they are: very close friends. he has the option to leave. he has the option to stay. she believed him mature enough to handle that option.

>in which universe is this relationship good

i never said it was. i said shes not a villain and we shouldn't just assume shes stringing him along just cuz you got friendzoned before and now think that all women are responsible for guys not getting the fuck out.

>>17679221

sorry thats just what we all assume friendzoned betas sound like. its hard not to equate your whining with frantic retard level yelling.

if you want to disagree with al lthat, be my guest. ill even let you have the last word if it means that much to ya. dont worry, i promise ill read it and not just close the tab.

congrats.

>>17679218
So catching feelings for your friend is weird stalker status now?

>>17679235
>i said shes not a villain

I never said she was.

>all women are responsible for guys not getting the fuck out.

I never said they were.

I always said they are both in an unhealthy relationship.

>>17679236

I'm just saying we don't really know. It's a possibility that you are exaggerating.

Again, not calling you a liar, just showing to the other Anon that I'm taking all possible angles into consideration.

>>17679235

Haha, missed the second part, thought it was for another post.

I'll take you on it, then, I'll have the last word.