So I'm about to start training for this server job, except

Making BS small talk convos becomes really easy with a bit of practice, and after you realize how much no fucks people give about them. You both couldn't care less if the next day the person you were talking with was dead. That's the kind of mindset that makes that shit work.

You get used to it very quick.

Like, you become a robot and not think a single thing about your customers.
I used to have a public service job and that's how it went down.
Hell, it was hard to break the programming. For a few weeks after that job, I kept smiling at random people I saw in stores.

I'm shy but for a job like that, you learn how to make it not "real".
It's not like small talk. It's like... Pushing buttons on an elevator.

>>17674104
It looks pretty easy. I'm really scared I'll drop drinks and/or food though. Like it's ridiculous how afraid I am of messing up.
>>17674118
That's an interesting way to describe it but I can sort of understand. I hosted for a couple of months before and it got really easy greeting people and taking calls.

Server here. I'm also shy and socially withdrawn, but it usually doesn't come up much at my job. With a little practice and experience, I fell into the groove of going through each table according to a script, with relatively little improvisation. "Hi I'm anon, I'll be serving you. Can I start you with something to drink?" "Here are your drinks, are you ready to order?" "Here's your order, would you like any [insert condiment here] to go with it?" etc. I mostly follow the procedure, and answer simple questions or relay questions to the bar or kitchen.

If a chatty costumer does try to engage in conversation with me, I've found that most of the time they don't really seem to want to hear what I have to say as much as they just want to talk at me, so I can usually get by with smiling and nodding and just making it apparent I've heard what they said rather than offering a genuine response.

I actually have much more trouble interacting with coworkers trying to socialize than customers. But it usually doesn't take them long to figure out I'm just doing a job and not especially interested in making friends beyond general politeness.

>>17674121
As an extra tip, be super genial to kitchen staff.

Servers often act high and mighty because they get paid 10x more than anyone else in the restaurant.
But don't do that.

Be friendly. Help others out.
Bus boys, dishwashers, low chefs.
Be friendly, chatty, and do small requests for them.

It'll benefit in the long run.
Like if a $10,000 client comes in, and you can get your chefs to push them to the front and have your dishwasher have specific plates/glasses ready super quick, it makes a few hundred dollar differences.

If you're a dick to the backroom staff, you're gonna be put at the bottom and your plates are going to takes hours.

>>17674133
I also just smile and nod when strangers say something to me but lately I've been able to give back responses to them. I'm basically just practicing so I can (hopefully) get better at small talk
>>17674137
Yeah trust me I know how that is. I've worked as a busboy and in the kitchen.

>>17674121
>I'm really scared I'll drop drinks and/or food though.

I drop shit all the time. Earlier today I went to put a glass into the dishwasher and accidentally shattered it. And my boss, the owner of the establishment, was right next to me watching. I only need to admit it was an accident, apologize, try not to let it happen again, have the food or drink replaced promptly when necessary, and clean up. And after that it's forgotten in minutes. It doesn't take long before it stops phasing you. Little slip ups happen all the time.

>>17674172
Yeah I get what you're saying. I just have this irrational fear of having a party of 10 and spilling all 10 drinks while I'm either on my way back to the table or as I'm handing them to the customers
I'm really terrified

>somehow managed to get a coffee shop job
>still fuck up with shit that should be common sense all the time
>manager corrects me and is nice about it, but I feel like a kid for not getting things that are so basic
>like a cup dropped on the floor and I picked it up and wiped it off, thinking that was alright because it's what I would do at home
>or I tried getting out of the crowded elevator without realizing everyone else was getting off at this floor as well, and manager told me to let the guests go out first
>tfw probably undiagnosed aspie

>>17674121

I'm a total clutz. I've probably spilled ten drinks all over myself in my first two months. But my manager is nice, she just says, "you can't be afraid to make a mess here." And I just remake the drink and clean everything up.

I think it's that working this kind of job, no one has any expectations of you. If you are/look young your managers will also think of you the same as they do the high school kids. Remember, they usually have a bunch of tweakers, single mothers, and stoners working here. You can't be worse than that.

OP i also have social anxiety, and a hard time with relating to people in general. Its not easy, but ive gotten into a routine with tips from the servers from the restaurant i work at about stuff like this

>Understand its not for everyone, not everyone is cut out to be a server you have to learn to essentially be a good salesperson.

>There will be mistakes made, you'll forget something (an order, a drink, check issue) but its up to you how to handle the issue

>you will at some point end up dropping plates, or cups, or something. Just clean it up and move on, don't look back. i know i sucks.

>Make friends with the cooks/dishwashers/back of house they will always hook you up if you do. Do favors for your teammates, help around don't be too lazy.

>Use a SET list of things to say when greeting a guest/ or having a party, always act interested in what they have to say. (make some small talk) But don't act like a robot, be realistic about it. It's all about emotionally gauging your tables, on what they're doing or how they are acting or what kind of mood they are in. (casual, business, private, looking to party)

>>17674749
Well there are definitely lots of college students that i work with and they do act a little dumb but around their tables I've seen them act really professional and outgoing. But luckily these same people are training me.
>>17675229
Thanks for the advice! Good to know someone as awkward as I am is getting the hang of being a server. Most of what you've said I definitely understand after bussing for servers for over a year. Now that I'm moving up to server at least I have a decent amount of knowledge of what I'm getting into