Hey, guys. 5 years GF cheated on me. Here's the thing, we're

>>17672073
The trip was to unite groups from different branches of the organization, so they had a lot of forest walks, over 4 days and, on the last one, they had a party where they drank and she said she was going to pee and the only place were in the rooms, so she went and the guy in her group said he was also going (she told she understood it as peeing). Now this is the funny part after peeing he didnt leave, but lay on her bed and so the ended up talking and kissing for a while, after which she says he took her clothes off, stuck his dick inside her 3 times and came on her stomach and left. next day, she took her flight and I picked her up at the airport.
2 days ago I sent her mother a text basically saying "You know I love your daughter and was going to marry her, but you remember that trip? She cheated on me. Thank you for everything". Her mum didn't reply.

tl;dr Basically, gf of 5 years who said I was her biggest love and was the best person I'd ever met was gonna cheated on me with a literal random.

>>17672073
Ok she told you it happened why? She want out to be single in your country but doesn't have the support system in place yet outside your family, she want you to decide, she sorry, she want this guy? What? But before you answer she has betrayed you so all those wonderful things you said that make her so very different and marriage material are no longer true in your relationship. That woman and relationship does not exist anymore. What you have is a woman that will fuck someone else while in a monogamous 5 year relationship.

>>17672073
Okay so what do you need advice about? It sounds like you have it figured out already, did you just want to vent?

>>17672278

Should I go for a second chance? She is genuinely regretful and I've never seen her cry like this before. In 5 years I've seen her cry a few times, but nothing like in the past 4 years and holding me saying she's sorry and she doesn't want me to go.
I understand asking in a place where /r9k/ is too well represented + virgins is a crapshoot, but I'm banking on amidst the shit advice to find something worthwhile.


>>17672096
Her reason for happening is no reason. She doesn't want to break up, is sorry, feels like total shit, says she would murder him if she could, blocked him from everything (had contacts since they're part of the same organization, different branches).
Yeah, I told her many times that, the woman I loved is dead and looking at her now is like looking at a ghost and the relationship will take a long time to get to where it was, if it ever gets there.


On a side note, I go out pretty much every week, enjoy getting drunk and talking to chicks and always say no, no matter how drunk or horny I am.

>>17673122
(1/2)
The good thing is that she told you without getting busted first, but there are problems.
Look, by the way you tell the story it sounds like she twisted it around a bit to avoid taking full responsibility.
Like "after which she says he took her clothes off, stuck his dick inside her 3 times and came on her stomach and left. next day, she took her flight and I picked her up at the airport." In this scenario HE did all of the work, she just let it happen. Like she just laid there like a doll and the dude did his stuff and left the room. The thing that bugs me here is that up to the actual cheating it's really detailed. She is very careful to explain how they got in the room and make sure it comes across as an accident on her part ("she told she understood it as peeing" it shows how important it was to get this across for example), but when it comes to the actual cheating she skims over it and makes sure to word it in a way where she comes out as innocent as she can.

>>17673122
>>17673256
(2/3, ended up with 3 parts, fuck.)

Something made her feel like it's okay to cheat on you, whether it was a thing that happened out of the blue or not. When doing a lie it's easier to admit to a lesser evil to hide the bigger evil (Ever see Breaking Bad? Walt admits to smoking pot to avoid the truth about cooking crystal meth).
Of course a lot of what I'm saying is based on how YOU word it, so I can only guess and assume, but it sounds like she is hiding important details to spare herself. She obviously regrets it, but to me it sounds like she told you to get out ahead so that the "truth" is painted in a way she can control it, as not entirely truthful.

I'm struggling with words today, but what I'm trying to get at is that she isn't a victim here, and I'm not saying you think that, but it shows that you WANT to think that she is. But I'm very curious how another coworker would tell the story. For all we know they were fawning all over each other all night long, walking to her room hand in hand.

>>17673122
>>17673256
>>17673260
(3/3)

All in all, I wouldn't trust her. The easiest thing to do would be to just dump her and move on.
If you think she is worth it, research the story some more and see if it checks out. I'm sure she has painted the dude as the real evil here, the aggressor, but if you were to ask him (big ask I know) or someone else who was there (who would be willing to tell) you just might get a different story.
If her story checks out you can make a judgement call, she told you the truth without you asking and that proves something, but ONLY if it happened the way she said it happened. Otherwise she is manipulating you to stay with her, out of her love for you but manipulating nonetheless, it means she doesn't fully trust you and that she never will. That means she might do it again some day in the future, that she is capable of cheating, and lying about it afterwards.

Fuck I hope I'm making sense here but it sounds like a sucky situation to be in, good luck anon.

>>17673256
Today I forced her to exemplify how everything happen (like we were actors) and chastised her on all the chances she had of saying no and telling him to fuck off.
Spent the last 2 days obssessively cracking jokes at her cheating and not letting her up on it.

>>17673260
Exactly, I called her out on a ton of bullshit and every single detail (all you've said) I called bullshit and I'm not making her the victim, I told her it was 100% her and that a woman who acted like she did before (loved me, man of her life, etc) would never do that and would have the strength to tell him to fuck off.

>>17673265
I feel you man and you seem to think like me, so all you said, I've thought or done. I asked the guy, but the fucker saw the message but didnt answer.
She is completely crushed that I told her mum (I told her I told her mum) and is waiting for the shoe to drop on that side.

>>17673122
More than anything can you get over it? Will you be able to look at her one year from now and see someone other than that person who broke your trust? How much will you trust her from now? Will you be nervous every time she's not with you? Will you not be more controlling? Will you not be jealous?

Almost all couple problems start from money issues or cheating. If you think you won't be affected by this then sure, give her another chance. Otherwise just break up, it will be easier for everybody. If you want my opinion I don't think you'll ever be able to get over it. I know I wouldn't. But who knows, maybe you're different.

Also it sounds like she's bending the truth quite a bit in that story. Not that it matters much now.

>>17673296
>bending the truth quite a bit in that story

To be fair, I exhausted this, made her account for the timeline and acted everything out (like we were actors and she was very uncomfortable), but obviously, I didn't detail in the post.

>can you get over it?
I can. I honestly can I don't know I had it in me

>Will you not be jealous?
Fun fact: she was extemely jealous when she saw me talked to a girl friend, the night she came here to set everything straight and I told her to meet at a bar (that girl friend invited me there so we would talk and offer moral support before meeting "the devil").
Ah and she is always checking the FB profile of every girl I talk about (classmates, etc) and always asking who's that whore

>>17673319
If you're a drug addict you assume everyone uses drugs too. Same with cheating.

Well if you can get over it and think this issue won't change the way you see and treat her you should give her one more chance. But make it clear how close to throwing away a 5 years relationship she was.

>>17673339
Every single day she gets "you destroyed a fucking 5 year relationship for nothing/the woman I love is dead/looking at you is like looking at a ghost/5 fucking years fucked in a few minutes/I was going to marry you, but now.../Love is an empty word to you", etc

>>17673319
>Ah and she is always checking the FB profile of every girl I talk about (classmates, etc) and always asking who's that whore
Okay just dump her. She obviously doesn't trust you AT ALL. Stuff like this is only gonna get worse down the road. Even if you put it behind you and forgive her, she won't ever truly believe you and end up doing the same thing all over again.

>>17673358
She doesn't need it anymore, she needs to be let loose. It's the best for the both of you.

>>17673358
lol I didn't mean it like that. That will only deatroy your relationship further.

>>17673380
shoo robots, shoo.

>>17673398
I disagree. Making someone feel like absolute shit and realize that they lost what they've always wanted (she wanted arriage and kids, talking about it for over 4 years) which I would have started to give her in about 2 weeks (our anniversary, I was gonna propose) and told her made her break into really pained crying and honest regret.
I know what you're gonna say, but that doesn't sound like a reocurring cheater or a cheater who didn't truly regret and who do it again...Sounds a good woman who make a pathetic mistake, knows it terribly and desperatly wants to make things right.
But what do I know, right? I'm just a guy in love who got cheated on.

>>17673415
>shoo robots shoo

What did he say that was wrong? the relationship was over as soon as she let some other guy shove his cock up inside of her.

I also highly doubt the account she gave, sounds like she downplayed what really happened to make you feel better about it in comparison to the real story.

You are talking in this thread like you are almost convincing yourself that this isn't all a big deal at all and your syntax is very feminine which leads me to believe you are quite the beta. I say that as a fact, not as an insult because I know you have come here to get some biased "advice" in hopes you can cling into a non-existing relationship.

It is OVER and you need to come to terms with it. Acting like a passive aggressive bitch with her isn't going to do shit and comes across as pathetic.