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I have come to a realization as of late - I hate my life. Basically, I recently developed a big crush on a stranger and after thinking about it in attempt to get over it, I discovered it's not her so much that I want, but the possibilities that she symbolizes.
When I was 18 I joined the military because that's what I was supposed to do. I went to war. I came back, went to college and played it safe with a business degree instead of getting into comic book art like I should have. I got a job, a girlfriend and had kids. I worked my way up the corporate ladder and now earn a great income. I bought a house and made a good living. I should be grateful, but if I am being honest I am miserable.
There is not much about my life I like. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but they'll grow up and leave me. I love my partner as the mother of my kids, but I am not in love with her. I feel like I did all the things I was supposed to including staying with her when she got pregnant and am now miserable. This is all my fault.
I'll say it again, where I am at is obviously my fault which I accept so no need to tell me how much of an idiot, piece of shit I am, etc, etc. The question is how do I fix it? Can I or am I fucked? If I can't, how do I keep from killing myself out of desperation or more likely, self-destructing and destroying those around me with my misery and/or increasingly poor decisions? How do I not be so selfish and instead disregard everything that I am feeling for the sake of those who count on me? I want to be a good person, but I am feeling selfish and need a change. I've tried to "man up", but run into this same feeling every few months. What do?
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>>17669383
Don't be too down on yourself man! Youre in a better off position than so many people! And theres so much you can still do, so many more possibilities!!
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>>17669447
Yeah I get that I am better off than most. Unfortunately, that just creates a sense of guilt. What right do I have to be unhappy? First world problems no doubt.
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>>17669458
Don't feel guilty man! It's human nature! You're always gonna want more! Gratitude is all about garnering some perspective to enrich your life even further. So for instance when you realize people have it worse it makes you 1.) appreciate what you have and 2.) it paves the way for new things and growing and learning because it gets your mind out of the shit gutter
It's never too late for anything man! You say you like comics? Draw them in your free time, keep plugging away at them and then post them online, and you said you had a business degree? Even better put it use and monetize your comics, hell if comic art is your passion it won't even feel like work, I don't think anyone's life is defined by their degrees and careers, and it's never too late to do what you really want to, I understand your situation is harder because you have kids but I'm sure you can find some time to work on comics instead of like TV for example, everything will be okay man :) just don't give up and remember it's never Too late for anything in this world
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>>17669729
You are one admirable motherfucker. Keep making this board and this world a bright place.
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>>17669729
Thanks anon. I don't know how practical your advice is, but I appreciate your positivity.
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