I keep feeling worse and worse, I can almost feel it by the second.

Drop out

>>17667800
Yay, I'm too much fo a fucking fuck up to get a proper education and achieve the dream I've had since I was 12

Go see a counselor, it'll help.

>>17667853
I have been.

But I can only see him every so often, and this healing takes time. My anxiety and depression has me in immediate danger of failing classes. I'm so confused, I can't handle feeling this way another day. But I'm gonna wake up feeling a little more exhuasted and a little more depressed.

>>17667793
Do you have any specific problems in College? Or does this come out of "nowhere".

>>17668911
To an extendt I've had these problems last year in college too, and throughout highschool. But it was always manageable. I've never felt as absolutely horrid, depressed, anxious and stressed as I do now. A lot of it is because I'm in immediate danger if having to drop one of my classes because I fucked up, fell behind and waited too long to ask for help.

My midterm is in less than a week for the class and I'm clueless on the content (it's a C++ class btw. Programming stuff) All I really have to study is the examples we've done in class but I can't really follow along with those. I've been trying to contact anyone and everyone that could help, but it's so close to midterms, I haven't even heard back from any of them.

Like I said,I don't even fucking know if I want to do this anymore. If it's turning me into such a fucking train wreck clearly I don't enjoy it. But this is what I wanted to do since I was 12, without it I have literally no other goals, nothing else I'd want to do with my life.

I'm a fucking mess and I just have to fucking let myself be because I have no other fucking options.

>>17668938
There is no easy solution to a frame of mind like that. I tell you this because I was more or less in the same boat as you were and I don't even remember how I got over it. I remember I was acutely aware of my shortcomings and issues but I didn't have the willpower or knowledge to overcome them. I didn't go to therapy though, you could try that, maybe it works.

Also it might seem easier to just give up at this point, and you may feel an improvement in your mood, however, when the fact that you gave up really sinks in later, you will regret it.

>>17668938
>I'm a fucking mess and I just have to fucking let myself be because I have no other fucking options.

Be aware that this is mainly something you're just telling yourself. Ask yourself why you are in the situation you are in right now. Why do you go to college? Why do you pursue programming? Knowing why you are doing something is very important.

The internet allows one to freely study whatever topic one wants to pursue, for free. Taking that route will take willpower instead of forcing oneself through the means of education other people bestow onto you. College seems like such a devious trap as it puts you in debt and won't guarantee you a high-paying job.

t. soon-to-be 22 year old NEET

>>17668958
I am in counselling already, and I've been trying to get a hold of anyone and everyone who could help but it's so close to midterms I probably won't be able to get any.

I've been talking with my parents about what I can do and they have their minds set on "never give up, keep trying to the last fucking second", but how can I not give up when I have less than a week to relearn the ENTIRE fucking semester for this class while balancing all my other school work and studying for all my other midterms. He seems dead set that this is still doable "even if you just get a 50 on your midterms". But I can't shake the feeling of hopelessness

>>17668973
>Ask yourself why you are in the situation you are in right now
Because I'm a fuck up that can't stop procrastinating, and has issues paying attention in class.

>Why do you go to college?
Because I don't have the patience to teach myself things

>Why do you pursue programming
Love of video games

>>17668938

Dear god OP you are exactly like me.

Through out highschool I'd often have shitty anxiety/depression streaks that I'd always manage to skate through. Started out college strong and even though academically I was great I'd have constant episodes were I was on the verge killing myself. Pretty much every part of me was screaming "JUST STOP IT WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT" but I thought I could make it as I only had two years left.

Then basically I had repeated mental crises and dropped out anyways. My advice: Therapy is good but also get a psychiatrist and try out some medication. But most importantly TAKE A BREAK IF YOU HAVE TOO. You have so much time to finish your degree. If you have to take a break for a semester or two or how ever much you need you will be OK in the end. You don't even need to finish it if you don't need too. Your ultimate goal should be to find stability and happiness. Getting your degree is only one out of a million ways to do that.

If you feel like you're at a breaking point don't push it.

>>17669032
>I procrastinated
>Now I'm in trouble

You made you bed senpai, lay it in

>>17669050
I went to talk to my counselor today about what's going on.

He said that I should be proud about how much I've been trying to make the situation right. However we've really exhausted all my options all I can try my best to learn what I can, and hope people who can help get back to me.

I'm so stressed though, I have this insane sense of hopelessness. I can't stay focused on anything.