If the ones you want don't want you And the ones who want

>>17664787

I regret settling.

I initially had a bad gut feeling about settling. Shoulda have listened to my gut.

But your dick kinda overrules when there's a naked woman on your bed waiting for you when you get out of the shower.

Depends, theres a difference between settling and compromising in my book.
Life is full of compromise, if you wait for that perfect "the one" type person, well you're going to miss out on a lot of life son. No 2 people match perfectly, you have to pick your battles and overlook some things, and in turn they will be doing the exact same thing with you. Compromise is fine, it's just another part of life.

Settling however, id when you have almost nothing you like about them. They're a 3/10 at best, you have next to nothing in common, and you're just taking them because they offered and you're done looking. Settling will only leave you hollow and with a shit miserable life, because it will end eventually when you get sick of one another. With that in mind, you're better off alone. But that still a rather miserable existence in my book. Just slightly less so than settling.

>>17664806
Not OP but none of the women I meet are available or interested except for a couple every now and again. They all lose interest and "ghost" me eventually. I'm convinced that no woman has ever truly liked me and were just latching onto me temporaririly because the guy they wanted was not meeting an emotional want of theirs.

There's been maybe a couple women who liked me for real but I wasn't physically attracted to them in the slightest so I declined. I am pretty convinced that I will either die alone or that I will have to wait a very long time before I find someone who meets my standards *and* is interested in me as well.

>>17664827
You might be driving chicks off with a lower self esteem mate. If you assume the worst, you'll make it the worst. Work on yourself first, you should be happy living on your own and be proud of your own accomplishments before you start seeking out companionship. Dating should just be an added perk to your already good life, a plus, rather than something that will make your life good/better.

I have the one I want and the one I want wants me.

>>17664848
I really don't think it's low self esteem. Actually in conversations with women I know that they are very picky and want a perfect match. So even though I am not a complete piece of shit, I can be routinely dismissed simply because I'm "not what she's looking for".

>>17664856
uhhhh you're making assumptions there friendo. That's kinda one of them low self esteem signs. Like I said, you're assuming the worst. You're going into it with this false r9k-y notion of "All women have incredibly high standards that I will never meet because they expect perfection"
That just ain't true dude. Some do, but no more than some men expect perfection as well.
I think when you're being dismissed because you're "not what she's looking for" it's probably because she's thinking "Ok, that dude automatically assumed he had no chance with me and acted like it. I want a guy who's a little more confident in himself."
Or at worst "That dude's got prejudices against all women and is lumping me in with people I'm nothing like and it's a little insulting."

>>17664979
>I think when you're being dismissed because you're "not what she's looking for" it's probably because she's thinking "Ok, that dude automatically assumed he had no chance with me and acted like it. I want a guy who's a little more confident in himself."

And I think you're wrong.

I've made efforts. I've courted women, asked them on dates, made phone calls, told them I do like them and want to see them again.

Time and again, I get the same old "sorry I just want friendship/I'm not ready for a relationship/I got back with my ex" etc. and that's the end of it.

And the thing is that even though it's said that the man should pursue the woman, in many relationships I see the exact opposite happen. The girl is always trying to "hang out" with her crush, always talking to him, looking for excuses to be alone with him etc.

The last two girls I dated were both crushing really hard on other guys beforehand. They both seemed to only go along with me because the men they truly desired were not available to them. One of them wouldn't stop talking to her crush and ended up marrying him; the other one broke up with me randomly saying she 'wanted to just be friends' and I'm almost positive that it's because that guy had feelings for her too and refrained only because he had a girlfriend at the time as well.

As far as confidence goes, I think it can only take you so far. It can help, but you must be meeting different women than me, because most of the ones I meet have a "type" and will give those guys all sorts of breathing room to make mistakes or act awkward because she already thought he was hot from the beginning. When women are actively comparing you to past lovers and her desired type and you don't match up to them, you're starting off at a disadvantage and honestly, I can't find it in me to put forth an effort when the women I try to court don't act very interested in me because I'm not what they really want.

>>17665044
Of course the funny thing is that, looking back, all of those things happened for my benefit in the end. Sometimes I wonder if my standards are not high enough, since many of the women I've "struck out" with have not been 'perfect for me' and, often times, threw up what seemed like red flags.

I am not the most confident, most successful, most attractive man that has ever walked the face of the planet. There are things wrong with me, as there are with most people, there are things I could do better/differently, I'm not going to object to that. But then, I understand fully that any of those flaws I carry can be pitted against me when a woman is assessing my relationship potential. It's not that women want perfection, it's that you simply don't know how she works exactly, and there could be some seemingly insignificant aspect of your personal that causes her to start running away from you, even if that one thing does not make you staggeringly insufferable compared to the average man.

I could be more comfortable with myself, but I'm already pretty happy with who I am, especially compared to only a few years ago. I know that I won't offer what every woman wants, and I've known for quite some time that I am not the type of sexy alpha male that makes untold amount of panties dripping wet. So really all I can do is bide my time and try not to care too much about what women think, but then secretly hope that some day, maybe one of them will look at me and say "yeah, he's pretty cool, I'd like to be his girlfriend for a while yet", like I've seen happen for virtually every single other guy I know except for myself.

>>17665077
Also when I say that I am convinced I'll die alone or have to wait a while until I meet someone, it comes across defeatist but really carries a lot of truth. I know many couples who did not meet until they completed their formative years - we're talking well past the mid twenties for many - dropped their desire to be with the most attractive person they could find, and decided that they would be willing to have a relationship with an actual person and put in the necessary work. Or, maybe, they'd made that decision ages ago, and it simply took them that long to find someone who doesn't have their head planted up their ass thinking they deserve a mythical person who somehow magically meets every single untold sexual/emotional need of theirs without having to put in any real work at all.