Anyone have experience with getting back together after a break

>>17664713
Take it from someone who was with someone for three years, broke up for a year, got together for another year after the break, and then broke up again; it's not a good idea.

Even if you do get back with her, it's likely that those same issues will cause you two to split again, making the pain from the first breakup even worse.

You gotta move on dude. If you dont, it'll make it hell in the long run. Relationships pretty much end in a breakup or until one of you dies, take some serious time to think about if you're willing to have another long relationship with her. If you get back together and break up again a few months later, the emotional pain from the split will be worse than the first time.

>>17664729

Who initiated the getting back together in your situation?

She is taking this time for herself and thinks we need this time, we had a great relationship but towards the end she felt like she needed a breather and to just travel and focus on herself because she has been depending on me so much for her own happiness. I am 100% committed to moving on completely but it's hard to remove any uncertainty because I know if she contacts me in the next year and I'm single then it will be hard to say no to her.

It's tough because our issues in the relationship is basically her personal issues, so if she were to resolve them and want to get back together there wouldn't really be much left to break up about.

>she keeps saying she wants to wind up back together in the future and has hope for us

This is like trying to have an insurance policy, no matter how much time she gives herself, if she's still dreaming about this future with you she's not really moving on. It's stopping you from moving on too.

The trouble with relationships and 'fixing issues' is that you basically can't change them. You will fall back into the same pattern.

Honestly you should throw caution to the wind, it's better for her and it's not like she's the only woman on earth that you can have an excellent relationship with. There's plenty more out there for you to experience, not just in terms of romantic relationships but life too.

>>17664750
my ex initiated the getting back together and i let him back because i was younger and stupid and thought he'd really changed.

he'd also had personal shit he wanted to work on, namely being an alcoholic manwhore, and after the first break he said he'd changed and wanted to try again.

he didnt really change though and i was lonely so i let him back, yet we ended up breaking up again for the exact same reason as the first time.

if you're 100% committed to moving on, do so. my motto for any decision like this is that if you have any doubts about doing something, that's the first sign not to do it, and it hasnt failed me so far.

i'd say at the very least, seriously consider it. do you think it would work in the long run? do you think you'd still love her? do you think you could survive another breakup with the same person? questions like that.

getting back together is a difficult situation, sometimes it works just fine but others its disastrous. as someone who's experienced the disastrous side, i'd really urge you to think long and hard about getting back with her.

>>17664773

Yeah I get that, It's hard to believe she really means what she is saying because I know admitting it's final forever is a scary thought. I however want to move on for now so I'm trying to block these "future possibilities" out of my mind.

>>17664713
ultimately people break up because one or the other is too crazy for the other to handle, and people don't get less crazy, but rather more crazy,

>>17665085

This break up is completely one sided and up to the issues she had with herself and her life. She still loves me and says she doesn't think about or want other guys and this is solely to work on herself and to be selfish in doing so. I can sympathise with her thats why I'm not angry or anything and completely supportive of the break up, I said many times we should go no contact and if things work out in the far off future then it's meant to be, but no expectations etc. We had a trip coming up that's still unresolved so we're trying to sell the tickets which is a reason for her to contact me, so we have been going 2-3 days no contact and then she will message me something about it or that I left an item of clothing at hers etc.

>>17665142
move on. she is keeping you on the hook as a plan B. don't fucking listen to her and live your life starting today. I recommend stop talking to her completely