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I'm fucked up. When I am alone I have insane conversations with myself, I jump and scream when I sometimes become overwhelmed with a sense of impending doom. I will get easily distracted and clean excessively an area in an attempt to "right myself" and clear away any inefficiency or bad influence towards my life. I have no IRL friends and I have no idea how to socialize with regular, normal people. I have no girlfriend but I got laid once by a fluke of pretending to be normal to a girl who fucked me on the first night we met but then she dropped me after realizing how batshit I am.
I'm studying at college, I'm fairly intelligent and I do well at my studies but there is a maelstrom in my head that I am finding harder and harder to hide away from others, including academics at school who have their eye on students because of the reputation that must be upheld.
Should I speak to somebody about my issues? I have done so to my mother in the past but it ends with her calling me crazy and that "she doesn''t know what to do to help me".
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Yes. See a therapist. Sounds like you suffer from BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) as well as OCD.
There is nothing wrong with you, but you should go see them just see what they say.
Good luck lad.
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>>17658001
Wouldn't say he has borderline, then he would be more suicidal and keeping his relationships. I guess it's shizoid personality order (SPD)
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>>17657995
OP pls tell me that your pic is of you and not made up.
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>>17658028
I'd never use an iPhone
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>>17658001
>Yes. See a therapist. Sounds like you suffer from BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) as well as OCD.
I'm convinced that it won't do me any good and that I will just end up having one person eventually become convinced I am a neurotic clusterfuck which will only give me more fodder to validate my thoughts. Also I am pretty against taking medication for any mental disorder.
A few days ago I was buying food for the week and I started to tear up in one of the isles because I was thinking about how isolated and lonely my existence is, I'm a grown adult male and these things shouldn't be happening to me. I seriously started considering seeing somebody about things after this
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>>17658063
Don't fear therapy, if it's really SPD then there is almost no treatment except meds that can help you. Learn to live with it. Most people with SPD never go to a therapist, work in science and live secluded.
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>>17658063
You really should see a doctor and take medication, you idiot.
Obviously you can see that normal people don't engage in those kinds of behavior. So what would a normal person do if they were in your situation, you ask?
RECEIVE MEDICAL ATTENTION
Everybody takes pills for their problems these days. Either learn how to function as a part of society, or banish yourself to the woods. You're going to end up like a crazy homeless bum injecting heroin under his toenail under a bridge with his fuckbuddy male partner Clarence.
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Oh fuck now I am genuinely scared because I have this same problem sorta
>Never had friends in middle school so I gave my subconscious a persona
>Would talk to it and whenever I had problems I would talk to myself
>I'm older now but I can't just unthink all this
>Catch myself talking aloud saying random things in my head
>"That's why we hate her" "I never much liked him"
Please tell me this is just random banter and I am not a wacko
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Alright, I'm going to arrange to see somebody at my university, maybe a counsellor at least to get some feedback on if i am as irregular as i think, or not.
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