This is urgent, /adv/. How can i stop basking in and seeking

you fuck up badly enough (or enough times) to learn from your urges or you learn not to give a shit and roll with it.

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>>17638817
Follow pic related with utmost urgency

Degenerate.

>>17638824
>>17638825
These two are a bunch of jabronies. The only way to keep from /needing/ the attention of the opposite sex is to become self-secure.

Figure out how to be okay with who you are and you won't need validation to the point it destroys you.

>>17638824
Can i not skip ahead and learn from people that already went trough the same?

>>17638825
Don't act as if you wouldn'tbe tempted to bath in the attention of girls/guys/whatever you're into if it was at the tip of your fingers at any given time, ready to give you a boost whenever you feel low? That's like a very, VERY convenient drug and i'm only human.

>>17638835
strife is the genesis of change. humans are lazy and don't change things that feel good until the opportunity cost becomes too great or it stops feeling good.

>>17638846
It's important to learn to want to change without strife.

>>17638835
I've tried that for years now. I'm doing ok. I can go withiut it for a long time. But it's likebeing an alcoholic. You would need to be 100% abstinent to not fall back. I was doing so good. Then aome guy flirted with me and i fellt that familiar feeling. I tried to fight it off but ultimately i went on an attentionseeking spree. And i want off of that rollercoaster again asap. It's only going to crash and burn at some point...
I like to believe that i'm pretty selfsufficient. But male attention STILL feels like the icing on the cake. It still makes me feel very good, even though i don't NEED it

>>17638840
>Don't act as if you wouldn'tbe tempted to bath in the attention of girls/guys/whatever you're into if it was at the tip of your fingers at any given time, ready to give you a boost whenever you feel low? That's like a very, VERY convenient drug and i'm only human.

Surely I could but I choose not to. You know, all that attention you're getting from males is because they want to get inside your panties. But you already know this and continue to be a vapid whore.

Why not just stop? It's that simple.

>>17638850
most people don't have the mental toolkit for that. it takes a very specific kind of person with a very specific upbringing to have that kind of drive. the majority of people kind of just slide through life and don't change things until they need to. it's easy to sit back and make internet posts and wax introspective but when it comes down to it, changing yourself requires a pretty dramatic amount of work. most people just don't want it that bad... until they need it.

>>17638846
I figured. But what i ultimately want is
>>17638850
I want to be able to change the course shit is taking before the damage is done.

I did all i could think off to not tempt myself but somehow this is an attempt that won't work. It's like any other addiction. Especially food. You can try and eliminate temptation, but you can't be complete in that and will eventually relapse OR learn to abstain and be disciplined. It's the difference between avoiding male contact (which is impossible) or get to a point where i can trust myself around them. I need a good guide on how to get to that exact point, because my plan so far seems flawed

>>17638858
I'm aware. It's still validation, even if it's cheap one.
That's like telling a druggie to just stop... That won't work. It takes a kind of strength to get over this that first needs to be required and i want to require that strength.

>>17638860
What skills are in that toolbox and how do i get my hands on them?

>>17638873
No, it doesn't take any strength to quit being am attention whore. Stop making the excuses and comparing oranges and apples. It's not like quitting smoking or drugs but nice try.

Just stop.

Seriously, you won't get withdrawal symptoms.

>>17638817
Does your name start with an M and end with an N? Your middle name starts with E?

>>17638883
First name*

>>17638880
Ok then

>>17638883
No


I guess i'll have to figure it out on my own then since "just stop" won't help me. I know it's that easy. I'm just not disciplined enough. I need to train my willpower one instance at a time

>>17638893
It's not a good idea to base things on willpower. Willpower fades if you're feeling bad or insecure. Discipline is more permanent and leads to more long term solutions.

>>17638817
Most likely you lack other qualities than being a (maybe even pretty) girl. You don't know if there's anything remarkable about you, so you go the easy road to feel good. So get a hobby you can be proud of. Do sports, learn an instrument, learn a language, just do something you can be proud of so you don't need the validation of others.

>>17638905
What's the difference? Discipline is just using willpower over and over again till you no longer need it because it became a habit?

>>17638907
I tried that and it works to some degree.
I guess i would habe to invest more into achieving things for them to be as rewarding as male attention. I know it's the easy and lazy way out. But somehow that doesn't spark any will to change it in me... I know that's degenerated

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>>17638893

I found sources that provide tips and advice on how to stop being an attention whore. You're not just an attention whore but lazy as well as you can't even do a Google search. Please refer to my first post in this thread if you have any doubts. I know you're even lazy to scroll back so here >>17638825

>>17638918
Well, I did the best I could. You asked for help, I provided it, you admitted yourself that it would work, but it's too exhausting. Still, you shouldn't expect an easier way out of your situation, change is always hard.

>>17638933
>>17638945
You're right. I should stop making excuses and instead get to work

>>17638817
What is your relationship like?

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>>17639193
it´s bretty good. but i´m lonely a lot of times since he´s in military.
i feel like it´s also rather distant. but only because we have very limited ways and amounts of contact.