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Hi,
I am 25 years old, in college and have a girlfriend.
Thing is, I have horrible confidence and self esteem.
My main problem is, that I value myself as high as I think other people (especially women) value me. I have many great friends but am constantly in need of female validation in one way or the other (i dont cheat on my gf).
I am already in therapy but maybe it would help if I tried to approach women, fail miserably and someday get a good reaction to get rid of this neediness in validation?
I am rather overweight (ever was) but my currend and past girlfriends didn't seem to have much of a problem with it. I lost much weight a few years back but it didn't help my self-esteem.
In other words, how do you - really- strengthen your own self-esteem if you have none or very little?
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>>17636392
Do you like how you look? I kinda the same as you OP, have alot of female best friends which i like to keep around me as a "compliment harem" of sorts (yeah i know how that sounds, but i have no other idea how to describe it...). Iam also always super flirty with them, even when iam in a relationship (wouldn't fuck them though). I just think or maybe believe that i look great. That helps me alot with my self esteem.
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>>17636392
>Girlfriend
>No self esteem or confidence
Fuck off, please.
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>>17636392
You strengthen it by doing something you love doing and doing it properly. Being passionate about it and succeeding. Thats what gives you an ego.
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>>17636392
Being alone. When I was little, I was kicked out of my house in Florida and made to move to a small town in West Virginia where I did not know a single person.
For the first three years, I had no friends and spent all of my free time dwelling on my flaws and insecurities. Every single day was a self-induced hell for me.
When I finally got some friends and dragged myself out of it, life has become so much easier and I have self-confidence like no other. People can make me angry, irritated, and happy, but they will never make me sad.
I could lose every single person in my entire life this very moment and still find a way to pick up the pieces and live happily.
Stay close to your family, anon. My family has helped me a lot during my insecure days, and given me words of affirmation that I will never forget.
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>>17636486
This. Self esteem is built by accomplishing things that are valuable to you.
What kind of person do you want to be? You set goals that will bring you closer to that ideal. As you reach those goals, you are improving yourself (in your OWN eyes, not someone else's - this is very important) and therein building your self condifence.
For example, don't work out because you want girls to like your body more. DO work out because YOU want to like your OWN body more.
Don't learn to play an instrument to impress someone else ... do it for yourself. It's SELF confidence. It has to come from you
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>>17636434
I think I should lose some weight, like 50 pounds.
Otherwise I'm alright I guess.
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>>17636514
I would like to be charismatic. Assertive. Confident.
I'm neither of those things. My only positive side in my mind is being funny.
How do I get there?
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